


Zack Addy Learns From the Best

by MeeronverDarkhoof



Category: Bones (TV)
Genre: Abuse of Authority, Abuse of a Teacher-Student Relationship, Alternate Universe, Angst, Coming of Age, Edging, F/M, Female Character In Command, First Time, Hurt/Comfort, Mildly Dubious Consent, Orgasm Control, Power Dynamics, Slow Build sorta kinda elements of, Statutory Rape, Submissive Male, Teacher-Student Relationship, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-25
Updated: 2014-06-22
Packaged: 2018-01-26 14:36:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 14
Words: 40,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1691852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeeronverDarkhoof/pseuds/MeeronverDarkhoof
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In an alternate universe, set pre-series, a very young Zack Addy studies under a not yet doctor Temperance Brennan, in more ways than one.</p>
<p>[This is very much a work in progress.  But the first *11* chapters make sense and go together now!!!  More to come in the days ahead.<br/>Update: 6/22 If you've been reading this story and are waiting for more, please read an important note in Chapter 12.  More actual story to come soon!!!</p>
<p>You can also see some of my thought process and writing style exposed as I write this.  Or you can ignore those bits and just enjoy the story, either way is cool.  Come in and have fun, kitties!]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First, Experience

**Author's Note:**

> Start date: 5/25/2014
> 
> First important note: I don’t usually post works-in-progress, but this story has an unusual origin, as far as my creative process goes, and I thought it might be helpful to post what I have so far as I piece it all together. (I’m not writing strictly chronologically, I’m getting down what I remember before it floats out of my head) If you would like to see my writing process in action, and maybe post comments giving me pointers on filling in technical details needed for back-story or other feedback, please feel free.  
> Update 5/28 Now that I put things in chapters, you can read the story as it is meant to be without worrying about internal spoilers. *Just don't read the very last chapter* if you don't want to know what will happen ahead of time. But if you *do* want to see more of my thoughts and writing style exposed, in this unusual for me scatter-shot way of writing, feel free to read the last chapter for bits and pieces that are not fully formed yet. As long as you don't mind knowing things before they happen, so to speak. Up to you! I'm cool either way, but I'd love it if you told me what you think! *hint hint, I'd love comments!*
> 
> There are no spoilers for the series though. Unless you are a late-comer to Bones and haven’t seen all of season 3, in that case don’t read my rantings later in these notes, there are spoilers for that. (I have now moved that rant to end notes, if you are curious about how obsessed I am)
> 
> **On to the note-notes** :  
> This started out as just my own personal get-off fantasy involving me and an anonymous young guy who doesn’t exist outside my twisted brain. Until I decided to call him Zack, then Zack Addy of Bones popped into my head, then he became the face of my hapless fantasy boy. Then I realized I’d fantasized myself a half decent story-in-the-making and decided to flesh it out. Since I already had pretty boy Zack, I needed someone else to play me, the obvious choice is Bones because she is the authority figure in Zack’s world. And of course I like her, who doesn’t?
> 
> But this is not your regularly scheduled Boney-Os, kay? No dead bodies, Temperance and Zack are much much younger, no G-man Booth-y,* so no “Bones” nickname either. Sorry, I know it’s a kick-ass name and all, but do you really wanna call a girl “Bones” in bed? Too many bad puns waiting to happen. Also, Tempy isn’t so cerebral and neatly compartmentalized. Mostly that’s do to this originally being me in the story, so this is kinda more how I would act than she would. But let’s chock that up to her being young, and still pretty fucked up about her parents and foster care and all that, okay? Because that explanation sounds more literary then, “I just put Bones in my place in my own jerk off fantasy” That's lame. Okay, so she’s fucked up about her past and needs to find control in her life, so that’s why she fucks up Zack. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. :P
> 
> \--Added later: As I write this, I am trying to adjust little details to better fit Temperance’s personality, I may not do the character complete justice, but I am trying. As I get down the part where she makes him say what he wants, I am realizing it‘s very easy at that point to impose Temperance‘s thought process over mine, we are oddly similar in some aspects.--
> 
> (Also, I take some pretty big artistic liberties with what a cock ring can do and the stamina of a virgin, and also the extent of naiveté of an adolescent boy, but it’s important to the “plot” such as it is. This bit of smut really has no plot, but let’s say those slightly exaggerated elements are integral to the storyline. The origin of this story is pure fantasy, remember, fantasies don‘t have to be realistic. Enjoy it for what it is, and don‘t nit-pick “that wouldn‘t happen“ and we‘ll all enjoy the ride, okay? :)
> 
> *Don’t misread my calling him Booth-y as an insult, I was being playfully snarky. Seeley is super hot, but in this story I needed an insecure, awkward, submissive little guy, does that sound like Booth to you? I didn’t think so, even if he was a kid. Maybe I’ll play with him next time.
> 
> Now venture on into my twisted world, if you dare! ;)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zack's first kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I'm going to try adding chapters, and then I'll fill them in as I go, see if that works out. If it does, it will be easier for me to edit small chunks at a time, and easier for you to read things in order without seeing what's ahead if you don't want to, or picking where to read or whatever, and easier to see what's been added, if you've been here before and are coming back for more. ;)

It was happening all in a rush.  The heat and awkward but urgent need of first experience.  He was pushing her up against a wall, and he NEVER thought he’d do that to a girl, but she let herself be pushed there.  His mouth was pressed to hers and he could feel more than hear her breathing.  He raked his hands through her hair and it wasn’t like in the movies because his fingers got tangled and stuck there.  Damnit!  He was not being smooth, he didn’t know how to be smooth.  But oh god those where her _boobs_ pressing against his own chest.  Well really not his chest, closer to his collar bones because she was so much taller than him.  He had to stretch on his tip toes to reach her, and even though she was the one against the wall she was leaning forward and down to meet his lips.  But back to the important point, he was actually feeling boobies against him.  He wanted to see if she’d let him touch those mysteriously alluring swells of flesh with his hands, but they were still stuck in her hair.  He pulled his hands away quickly, it was too quickly because they snagged, oops, she let out a muffled “Ouch!” against his lips.  Oh crap.  He didn’t mean to be rough, he’d never want to be rough, but in his eagerness he didn’t know how to be gentle.

Mortified at himself for making her say ouch he forgot how good he was feeling and backed away from her.  His eyes fell to the floor like dead weight and he felt his face get hot.  He knew he must be blushing and he hated for her to see him do that, but you couldn’t stop that from happening once it started.  Just like he couldn’t stop what had happened to his. . . Oh no way, she’s gonna see that!  So he quickly clasped his hands together in front of his crotch in an attempt to hide it.  It never occurred to him that this was completely unnecessary given that they had been making out two seconds ago.  And that surely she’d seen such a thing before, that never crossed his mind.

“I’m sorry.  I’m so sorry.” He was muttering over and over.  “I didn’t mean to--”

“Shut up Zack.”  She broke him off.  And something unusual in the sound of her voice that he didn’t understand was desire made him snap his eyes back up to her.

He had just enough time to register that her cheeks were flush too, -- although it somehow didn’t seem like it was from embarrassment -- before _she_ was pushing _him_ back against the other wall of the narrow hallway.

“Miss Bren--” Was all he got out before her lips pressed against his and the rest of her name was lost in a meaningless “Hmmim!” sound.  He felt something wet against his lips and his body seemed to know more than his brain did because he didn’t decide to open his lips but they just did and then he knew it was her tongue.  Oh wow was this really happening her tongue was in his mouth!  He felt instantly shaky-dizzy-weak and what was left of his rational mind was glad the wall was there to support him.  He tentatively met her tongue with his, they were sliding and slick and it felt so good he forgot for a while he had hands to touch her with.  They fluttered at his side, unable to receive commands from his over heated brain.

He had previously assumed based on what he saw on TV that people were supposed to close their eyes when they kissed, but his were currently wide open in wonderment.  Miss Brennan’s eyes were open too, staring right into his, so close it was dizzying.  Her gaze was somehow hot and seemed to burn into him.  The look was too intense so he broke it by shifting his focus off to the side, where his gaze landed on her hair.  With her head bent down to his, her hair fell forward, draping the sides of his head.  Her hair was so shinny rusty-brown, not dull and mousey-brown like his.

Her accursedly wonderful hair.  This had all started because Miss Temperance Brennan had on some whim decided to wear her hair down today. . .


	2. It All Started With Her Hair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back up a sec, how did Zack's infatuation begin?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...when I started this chapter was a blank, was just a placeholder for notes, I couldn't imagine how I would tell this part of the story. But once you get a hold of the thread, you can just keep pulling it! It took me a while to find the thread, but it's all eventual now!
> 
> EDIT: Okay it's nearly 6AM and I've been awake since 11 last night, but I wrote the start of this chapter. It's rough and unfinished but at least I got rid of those stupid notes! SO YAY! Go read. Shoo!
> 
> LAST EDIT 5AM 5/28: The movie in my head paused it self last night right before I got to the end of this part and the beginning of the next, It's on again tonight! Yeah that's how this thing works for me.
> 
> This chapter is now FINISHED! And the next two will follow shortly.

He had started staring at her hair months ago, not long after he started her class.  She was the student-teacher of his intro anthropology class.  He had been thrust into this collage world too soon, he was only 14, and barely that.  He was adrift, in need of an anchor.  It wasn’t that the work was too hard, the school work he could handle.  It wasn’t easy, but that was good.  It was just difficult enough to hold his interest.  That had been the problem back home, in junior high the work was getting way too easy, he lost interest and got bored.  When a mind so advanced in a body so young got bored, things got bad, fast.  And since he couldn’t connect with his peers either, there was nothing there for him.  The decision had been made for him, and he got the advanced skip ahead scholarship or whatever it was.

But at least at home he was surrounded by his anchor, his family.  Any other group of people that large would freak him out.  But he was born into that group, and they accepted him for who he was.  The rest of the world didn’t get him, and the feeling was mutual.  Here, at least the work held his mind in focus, but his emotions were un-tethered.  His family had decided the trade off was worth it, because things were about to completely disintegrate at home.  But now he was without them.  He couldn’t make friends with kids his own age, how could he expect to find any companionship with collage kids?  At least here they better understood his level of intelligence, but if they weren’t talking about school work he lost the thread.  So when he wasn’t in class or studying, he was at his computer, his last little connection to home.  He could exchange e-mail with family back home, and chat with a few other acquaintances he had never physically met.  Because it was just the tiniest bit easier to communicate by typing, where you didn’t have to see the other person face to face.

But now there was this new thing, in his already upturned world.  Miss Brennan’s Intro Anthropology Class.  The subject itself was interesting, one of his favorite classes so far.  He really liked anthropology.  But it wasn’t anthropology he was staring at when his mind drifted, it was Miss Brennan’s hair.  He liked the way the light from the high dingy windows shot down in a beam filled with dust motes and landed on her hair, making it glow.  He had her class at just the right time of day for the sun to hit those windows. He could watch the light shining on her hair while she talked, half of his brain absorbing information, the other half wondering what her hair would look like if it wasn’t always so smoothly tied back in a tight, low bun.  This fascination had crept up on him slowly as weeks went by.  It had started somewhere back in his subconscious that he couldn’t access, so he wasn’t aware of it until it had been going on for quite some time, and he could never think back and pinpoint when it stared.

He had no idea it had gone on long enough for Brennan herself to notice the way the youngest student in her class looked at her from under his own wavy brown mop.  Someone should tell him to get a haircut, she thought one day, but back in her mind she was actually glad there was no one around to tell him such a thing, and he clearly didn’t have the notion to do so himself.  But she tried to let that all go.  Let his cute little crush just be, she didn’t need to concern herself with it.  She focused on her work, which was considerable, now that she was teaching as well as still studying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Yeah its all mushy sunbeams and cute crush on teacher, so light and fluffy right now, but it’s gonna get hard and heavy, down and dirty, and just a little bit dark soon, I promise.]
> 
> [I don’t know why I got on this hair thing, although it turned out to be a good way to thread the beginning of the story together, but it didn’t start out like that. I just wanted his hands to get caught in her hair as an example of “real life” awkwardness to juxtapose with “what happens in the movies” from Zack’s POV. But in hindsight it make sense, I guess. I kind of have a “thing” for hair. A person’s hairstyle can drastically change my view of a person’s physical attractiveness. I like guys with long hair and girls with short hair, go figure. (Although now I think about it, it kinda works out to be similar, “short” for a girl is almost the same as “long” for a guy, give or take. and it's not like it has to be a certain length specifically, I just like good hair but people with not so good hair can be HOTTT too) Zack is an obvious example of hair that I like, although you can’t take away his cuteness even with a bad haircut, but he is beyond all ability to resist with his adorable floppy hair. A drastic example is David Krumholtz. I drooled all over him in NUMB3RS. But when he showed up as the shrink in The Newsroom with all those lovely curls gone, I had no interest, even though his sweet face and adorable nose were still the same. Yeah, I just said his nose was adorable, let’s not get me started on that.
> 
> I finished this chapter now, and didn't know it would take two more to fill in the hole, but they are done now too, so there is at least not this big gaping hole in the beginning of the story.]
> 
>  **Comments are love!** (If I ever get one ;) But just please don’t tell me it’s ridiculously unbelievable for a 14 year old to be a freshman in collage studying Anthropology 101 or whateverthefuck! Okay this is MY alternate universe, go get your own if you don’t like playing around in mine. ;) This _whole story_ is going to be ridiculously unbelievable, so get that straight right now, and we’ll all float on, okay? (kudos to mice with modesty)


	3. Addy’s Head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What exactly goes on in that amazing brain of his, anyway?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter, and the one that will follow, are titled in reference to two particular episodes of a completely different show, _House, M.D._ They were called, “House’s Head” and “Wilson’s Heart” respectively. The subject matter here couldn’t be more different, but I like the way they sound, so I shamelessly stole the idea. Muahaha!

He had noticed people of the opposite sex in _that way_ before, of course.  He didn’t know exactly when that started either, since it happened under the radar of his conscious mind as well, and was gradually stretched out over an even longer period of time.  Usually it didn’t last long, because he made himself stop those trains of thought.  It made him feel uncomfortable because as of yet, he saw no way of understanding it.  He grasped other things, technical things, so completely easily, even the toughest problems he could always at least see the road ahead to solving.  So when he came up against something which made no sense entirely, he backed away.  He didn’t know how to proceed and it scared him.  Later in life he would naturally learn how do deal with uncertainty better, but for now he was just a confused kid.

So the alluring mysteries of what exactly it was about the female gender, was an area he hadn’t explored yet.  If it came to the front of his mind, he hated the way he felt, terribly embarrassed, even if he was alone and there was really no real reason to feel embarrassment.  When he felt physical arousal even more so, and he quickly made his mind go somewhere else.  When he got hard, which he didn’t know was typical to happen so often for a boy his age, he felt awful and ashamed.  Although he didn’t exactly know why.  When it happened, it seemed always absolutely the wrong time to even consider masturbation.  He didn’t even know that word.  The concept itself, something murky and not fully understood yet either.  Tiny scraps of whispered conversations of other boys he had overheard back in junior high, he was not close enough with anyone for them to talk of such things directly to him.

He knew the internet was an almost infinite source of any kind of information, but he hadn’t gone there for answers or something to excite him either, he actively avoided feeling excited that way, why would he ever think to go looking for it?

He thought about science or math instead, if “something came up.”  He didn’t know why most kids thought math was hard, for him it was so much easier to understand than his own biology.

This, with Miss Brennan, was somehow a little different, although he didn’t realize it.  If her eyes fell on him he just let the fluttery feeling and heat be what they were.

The only thing he knew for sure was different about her was her intelligence.  She was smart.  _Really_ smart, kinda like him.  He could tell by how she talked.  Her voice was comfortable with big words, and complex concepts, and she expected everyone in her class to understand them, she was never mean, but she was impatient when someone didn’t understand her.  He had never before met someone who could play so close on the same level as his own mind, even getting ahead of him sometimes.  He loved the challenge of keeping up.  It excited him intellectually, but also in that other way, the deep murky way, and he let that sit there, just under the surface, and didn’t push it back down all the way, like all the times before.

Even though it made it really hard, yep, that _hard_ when she called on him to answer a question.  He had to solve a three-fold problem.  First, figure out the actual answer, then be able to speak out loud in a crowded lecture hall filled with people.  Last and possibly hardest, speaking directly to _Miss Brennan_.

When he was able to accomplish all three, it left him with a strange exhilaration.  Also more than a little light-headed, since the blood from his brain always decided to head south.  Thank god for desks, even little fold out ones in lecture halls.

It all fell apart the day she wore her hair down.


	4. Brennan’s Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So what's up with Temperance Brennan while this is going on?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you don't mind my flip-flopping POV style. It's just how I write, naturally. Despite the title of this chapter, the back and forth point of view will continue, I can't help it, it's what I do.
> 
> Slight edit at 11:50 AM 5/28. It think it's totally finished now.

Temperance Brennan wasn’t sure why she had chosen to leave her hair in it’s natural state, just run a comb through it and walk out the door.  She wasn’t overly rushed that morning, and she had gotten in the habit of wearing it tight when she worked, so it stayed out of her face and out of the way.  It was so much of a routine that she didn’t think about it, thus didn’t think about the fact that the routine had shifted.

When she entered her class she wasn’t thinking about the young prodigy who stuck out like a sore thumb among the sea of ordinary collage freshmen in her class, the one who couldn’t keep his eyes off her.  She didn’t see his whole-body jerk when she entered the room with her hair flying around her face from the force of her brisk pace.  She was looking ahead at her desk.

She did hear the snickering going on a few rows back, directly behind Addy.  But her mind was focused on the lesson ahead.  She didn’t care what inappropriate adolescent thing was so funny today.  It didn’t matter.  They would shut up once she got behind the desk, looked at them all collectively, and began the lecture.  She had good control over her class, and those interested in anthropology were mostly pretty well behaved, as far as collage freshmen went, anyway.

A few minutes later, when she called on Addy, he was completely unable to respond, although it was something he should know.  She didn’t know why he couldn’t answer today.  He was very shy but very smart, and he usually had little problem with the material.  She had no idea it had to do with her hair, how could she?

“Mr. _Addy_?” She said a little sternly, trying to snap him out of his useless stammering.

“The amount of force i-is indicative of. . . No.  Sorry is _calculated_ b-by dividing. . . . Di. . .Divvv. . . .”  He couldn’t put words together right.  He didn’t even know what he was saying.  All his mind could come up with was _her hair oh her hair it’s all around her face her hair!_   The light wasn’t just shining on the smooth pull of it back against her skull now.  It bounced and shimmered off the light waves.  It made her face even more beautiful.  Which shouldn’t be possible because he had thought in the weeks before, while her hair was always up, that her face was the most beautiful thing in the world.  How could it suddenly be _more_ beautiful. . .

Brennan saw it wasn’t going to get any better, so she let him off the hook and turned her intensity to the guy in one of the back rows who was never paying attention, make him squirm for a change.

“Mr. Anderson!  Time to wake up from your daydream.  Perhaps you can enlighten the rest of us?”

Her mind worked fast and what she did was a calculated decision.  The other students could laugh at the jerk not paying attention, he deserved it a little.  Plus he was an attention-seeker.  His foolishness would distract the other students' attention away from Addy's floundering.  Whatever adolescent angst poor Mr. Addy was going through, he didn’t need the extra scrutiny.  He had to be under enough pressure as it was, considering his unique circumstances in being here.

In her peripheral vision she saw Zack Addy slump back in his seat and put his hands over his face.  While she kept her focus on Tony Anderson as he tried to fake his way through an answer.

When the intense gaze framed by that beautiful hair left him, Zack felt all his strength leave with it.  He was unable to support himself upright.  While Miss Brennan grilled someone else, he tried his very best to melt away into his chair.  He didn’t know how he was going to recover from this.  While he covered his face from the world and wished to a god he didn’t believe in that the world would be gone if he ever put his hands down again, he thought he was completely incapable of any movement at all.

He was wrong about that, too.  He was on a roll today.

When the guy that sat next to him said softly so Miss Brennan wouldn’t hear.  “Hey man, what’s wrong?”  Zack’s muscles all tensed at once.  Oh what _now?_

This guy, Zack thought he remembered his name was Simon, wore glasses, pressed clothes, and was pretty geeky.  That was as much as he knew.  Except that he was also in the small sub-category of humanity that Zack classified as “I don’t know them, but they don’t tease.”  His concern seemed genuine, but Zack couldn’t answer this question either.  He certainly couldn’t confess he had a crush on their teacher, but he was also unable to come up with a cover story.

Like many highly intelligent people, Zack’s proficiency for understanding easily what others found complex, often left him feeling deficient in other areas, like social interaction, which most normal people seemed to grasp innately, without needing to be taught it.  _Average_ , he reminded himself, not normal.  Statistically, the correct word for “most people” was average.  _Normal was just a setting on the dryer._   That’s what his mother had said to him as a child, every time he came home crying, from being teases by other children because he was “not normal.”

But he couldn’t go crying home to mommy today.  Not anymore.  Without realizing he was going to say it, he told Simon, “I just don’t know the answer.”  It was muffled by the fact that his hands were still over his face, but Simon was close enough to hear.  He hadn’t meant the answer to Miss Brennan’s question.  He could have got that, _should_ have.  He meant he didn’t know how to answer his own question of what to do now.

But Simon took it as the more obvious answer from his perspective.  The kid, who was normally impressively bright, just didn’t know this bit they were learning today, and had choked up.

“It’s okay, we all screw up sometimes.”  Then he left the poor kid alone.  Maybe he needed someone to talk to, he looked _really_ shook up for just having got the answer wrong, but Simon didn’t want to be the next one under Miss Brennan’s thumb, for talking during class.  She was almost done roasting Tony alive back there.  Simon thought that guy had it coming, though.

Later Brennan tried to call on Addy again, but this time all he said was “Uhh. . .”  to a soft chorus of chuckles that weren’t that mean spirited, but she could see stung him anyway.  She saw that his stare was now the deer in headlights variety, and quickly called on someone else before it got worse for him.  She didn’t try him again for the rest of that day’s class.  She didn't admit to herself that the reason she questioned him so often in the first place was that she enjoyed interacting with him more than anyone else in her class, and not only because of his impressive intellect.

By the end of the hour Zack’s freak out had taken a temporary back seat, and he was transfixed by her hair again.

But, when the bell rang he was out of the gate like a racehorse.  He needed . . . _Away_.

He didn’t have time to get back to his dorm, he had another class in 15 minutes.  The closest place he could think to be alone was the supplementary library.  A small dark place filled with obscure texts used mostly by grad-students who wouldn’t be in there at this hour.  He thought.  Hoped.

It was mercifully deserted when he got there and began to pace.  He was not claustrophobic, normally.  Small rooms usually made him feel more safe then a wide open space where _anyone_ could be coming up behind him.  So he thought the small add-on library room would be perfect to pull himself together.  But incredibly, the walls decide to start closing in and he was falling further apart instead.  This wasn’t working.

He raised his arm to look at his watch.  The watch itself was ridiculous looking because it was too big for his slender wrist.  But it was usually hidden by the sleeve of the hand-me-down flannel shirt he was fond of wearing unbuttoned over his t-shirts.  He wasn’t concerned much with his appearance.  In his mind he was a wimpy unattractive kid, changing his style of dress wasn’t going to change that, so why bother?  Who would he try to look good for anyway?  Certainly not Miss Brennan, she was 22 for crying out loud, never would she be at all interested in him.  He was just here to learn, he wore what felt comfortable. 

But back to the watch.  The main problem was the watchband was too loose making it slide around on his wrist so he couldn’t see the dial.  He had to twist it around with his other hand to see. . . Damn!  If he didn’t go now he was gonna be late for his next class.  He still felt awful and his emotions were scattershot, but he headed out into the little hallway anyway.

\------

Brennan couldn’t find the book she needed in the main library.  She was writing a paper contrasting different cultures’ burial practices.  She was looking for something on an particular isolated tribe in west Africa that had a very distinctive ritual.  But she could find nothing about it in the extensive library.  She had gone there directly after her class, for the third time this week.  Finally she thought she’d try her luck in the Annex Library.

As she was heading down the hall to that little room, her mind was focused on the details of her paper, and she didn’t at first notice Addy blundering down the hall in the opposite direction.

Zack was so distracted by his own turmoil and _oh shit I’m gonna be late!_ That he didn’t see her either.

So they ran right into each other.

The contact, which should have only lasted a few seconds, _lingered_.  Before either of their conscious minds could take control again.  There was a sudden need for both of them to . . . _push_.  A pressure to move forward.  Before the contact broke.

“Oh, excuse me, sorry.”  Brennan said over the other person’s incoherent attempts at apology.  Before she realized who it was.  “Zack?”

After he had ran right into _of all people! Miss Brennan herself!!!_ he was resolutely not looking up, but fixated on his own threadbare sneakers.  But when he heard her say his first name, in surprise and something else, he didn’t know what it was but yeah there was something else in her voice that wasn’t ever there before.  In his ever present curiosity he looked up.  And they were so close!  He was still so close to _her!_

Something took control of him then.  His usually sharp mind had become a haze.  Because she was so close he could hear her breathing kinda unsteadily.  And that complicated look on her face so much more beautiful when framed by her hair, compelled him.  Despite all his fear of social interaction he was helpless to stop himself.  He was moving back toward her, not backing further away and to the side to let her pass, which would have been the right thing to do.

When he looked up she saw what was in his eyes was deeper and darker than just a sweet school boy’s crush.  Many exciting, to her, complicated layers upon layers, some of them as yet unknown and buried deep.

When he moved toward her she knew what was going to happen.  She thought _this is crossing a line, he doesn’t know he’s crossing a line.  I should be the responsible one and stop it before it starts._   But for all her force of will she couldn’t make herself stop it, he was oh so incredibly adorable.

All social norms were gone from him and without pretext or any consideration of her, or how “bad” it was, he moved forward so fast and pushed her against the left (from her point of view) wall.  He was little and skinny, even with the force of his newly found lust she could have easily pushed him away if she wanted, but she didn’t.

His face moved up and toward her own and she knew what he wanted _what they both wanted_ as she gave it to him, leaning down so he could reach her and she let him move the last few centimeters so it was _him_ kissing _her_ to start with.

His lips were full and soft and lightly quivering at first.  That quiver ran into her through his lips to hers and moved down into her chest where it started to swell.

And ache.

As he moved his body more fully against hers she felt an ache in her chest.  She knew of course hearts just pumped blood, they had nothing what so ever to do with generating emotions.  Yet she still couldn’t help thinking-feeling that her _heart_ was breaking and swelling at the same time.  What she felt emotionally was causing something truly physical to heat and ache and hurt and feel wide and good in her chest.  Yes, right where her heart was located.  She wouldn’t say she was falling in love, that wasn’t possible.  But she was falling in infatuation, falling fast and hard.

As she let him have his first experience, his hands flew to her hair as if drawn there by magnetic force.


	5. Hallway to Heaven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This could be heaven or it could be hell, either way they're going through.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I can hear you groaning about this chapter title all the way through your computer to mine. :P
> 
> But you're gonna have to live with it, because it made me laugh. Sorry to mar your memories of "Stairway to Heaven" With my smut. But did you see what I did there? Also threw a nod to Hotel California in the Chapter Summary.
> 
> I make no promises that I won't do it again.
> 
> But, as far as the story goes, now we're starting to get somewhere.

And that led to his present situation, pinned to the wall of the annoyingly narrow and stuffy hallway leading to the library, a previously functional but largely unnoticed part of his world that had suddenly turned into heaven.  The air was thick and still, smelling of dusty old paper and ageing leather bindings.  None of that mattered.  As their kiss deepened Brennan moved her body more fully against Addy’s.  He heard her feet shuffle, he was peripherally aware that one of her feet was now between his, the other on the outside of his left foot. But then _holy shit!_ Her upper thigh was now pressed against his hard-on.  He broke the kiss and gasped for air like a drowning boy.  His eyes rolled up to stare through the bland ceiling, so he didn’t see Temperance Brennan’s smile.  It was just as well, he might have found it creepy if he had seen it.

“Do you like that?”  She said slyly.

“What do you think!?” He said in a cracking falsetto that he had meant to sound bold and cocky, but sounded manic and frantic to his own ears.  And he certainly didn’t mean for his voice to crack and get high. Damnit!  When his eyes met hers again he looked almost mad, both meanings of the word.

No, she realized, that wasn’t anger she was seeing, but defiance, trying to cover up insecurity.  And that wild lunacy around the edges was normal.  He was over-producing hormones and he wasn’t sure what to do about it, yet.  She could help him with that.  Adolescent behavior was hard to predict, but she thought she could manage this one.

Zack didn’t know what to do now that he had said something so stupid, so he froze in place.  If he was so damn smart why did he always get it wrong when it came to people?  He chastised himself.  But Miss Brennan seemed unfazed.  She kept that incredible pressure where it was, closed in and kissed him again.  This time, he thought, he wanted to see how far into her mouth he could get his tongue, but she didn’t give him a chance.  It was a quick kiss. 

But before he had a chance to become dismayed by that, she had moved her lips in a searing hot line down his jaw line to his neck.  He never before knew his neck could be so sensitive.  Those little caresses of her lips were driving him crazy.  He didn’t know where this was going, but no way did he want it to stop.  But he felt weird just standing there, doing nothing but breathing with increasing irregularity.  What should he do? 

“Miss Bren-oh!  Uh, Mi… Miss Brennan…Mmm! I-- Oh wow, Huh!  Miss Breah-- What. . What should…mmmmm. . .”

This was ridiculous.  Not only was he stammering, he had to keep interrupting his attempts at coherent speech with these involuntary sounds caused by whatever the heck the incredible things were she was doing to his neck.  At different moments he thought he felt lips, then tongue, teeth, and. . . warm air?  Oh breath!  Apparently just breathing against his skin that had just been kissed or licked could make him shiver and loose the ability to speak.  _How_ did she _do_ that?  He wanted badly to be able to do something to her in return.  In stead of asking what he should do, since he couldn't, he decided to just wing it.  But he was never any good at winging anything, he was sure he was gonna screw up.  But what would she think of him if he just stood there like a dope?  He lifted his arms from his sides.  He kinda jerked them around in the air awkwardly.  Hesitantly moving back towards her body in fits and starts, not sure exactly where to put his hands. 

Then suddenly Brennan _bit_ him on the neck. He let out a squeal he didn’t know he was capable of making, and his arms reflexively wrapped tight around her back in sort of a haphazard way.  At the same time he bucked his hips, once, sharply into her leg.  There was no room for him to move between her and the wall, but the force of his sudden jerk pushed them both away from the wall at the hips for a few seconds.

Brennan lifted her head slightly.  She realized she had gotten carried away and moved too fast.  But he made the cutest noises and tasted so good.  “I’m sorry, did that hurt?” She asked.

Zack stammered, he didn’t quite know why he felt the need to breath so heavily.  Like he was doing exercise or something, but obviously he wasn’t, he was just leaning against a wall for god sake.  For all his knowledge, he didn’t know enough about sexual biology to realize what was happening inside his body really was strenuous work.  “Yes. . . I mean . . . No, no yeah, it did. . . I mean yes it did. . . Hurt . . . But no-yes-it-hurt-felt-good.”  That made no sense!

But somehow Miss Brennan didn’t seem at all confused by his nonsense.  She just smiled and said “Glad you liked it, but I’ll try to go slower for now, okay?”

He started to say okay as an automatic response of agreement to someone he perceived as in authority, but his brain shorted out when he realized what else had happened when she bit him.  Oh _eww_ had he just humped her leg like a dog?  _Ohhhh grooosss!_   He felt himself go red in the face again.  He muttered. “I’m really sorry I-I…I uh…” he nodded his head downward, hoping she would understand, no way in hell could he say ‘humped like a dog’ out loud to her.

Brennan put her hand gently under his chin and lifted his head to get him to look at her again.  This was an important lesson.  She tried to put aside her physical needs to be able to explain this to him well.

Her gaze was intense, but oddly gentle, Zack thought it was like she was trying to sympathize, but not pity.  She didn’t seem grossed out at all.  There was something else in her eyes that he couldn’t quite read, he wasn’t good at reading people to begin with, and he had never seen anyone look at him like that before.  It kinda seemed like it might be something good, though?  It would take him some time before he understood that look meant she was turned on.

“Listen to me Zachary.”  Her voice was soft but emphatic.  He automatically gave his undivided obedient attention when his long form name was used, which was not often.  So it had the desired effect of cutting through the haze of his mix of arousal and embarrassment.  “Don’t be sorry for that.  It’s perfectly normal.”

“Normal is a se--” He started to recite automatically.

She knew roughly where he was going with that, so she nodded and corrected herself without needing to let him finish.  “I mean it’s natural.  It’s exactly what your body is supposed to do in this situation.  You know it instinctually, even if you are not consciously aware of why you do it yet, understand?”

He nodded slowly, trying to process the information.  Then he said with the innocent exuberance of youth, “Can I do it again?”

Miss Brennan laughed softly.  Since she was still pressed against him he felt her whole body heave and shake against him.  It felt incredible, but at the same time it hurt so bad to be laughed at.  His emotions continued their sickening rollercoaster ride, down again.  “Please don’t laugh at me.”  his voice was small and he sounded much younger than he was.

She heard the sharp pain in his voice, and touched his hot cheek with the palm of her hand to sooth him.  “Oh Zack no, I wasn’t laughing meanly.  It was a good laugh.”  She struggled for the right words.  She felt that unpleasant social awkwardness now too, she thought she had learned to get over it.  She tried to get it to go away for both of them.  “I’m not laughing _at_ you.  I laughed because . . . I’m having fun, and I think you’re cute.”

He felt a blush that seemed to go all the way from the top of his head down to his toes.  “Yermm umm mmh rlmmmy thin um cute?”  That was supposed to be _You really think I’m cute?_ But he couldn’t get it out right.

“You have exquisitely pleasant facial features, very nice symmetry, very enticing hair, and a very well defined light build.”  She noticed this was not making him feel better, he looked more uncomfortable.  She realized she was being too. . . Something.  She tried again.  “I think you’re really cute.”  She tried letting her intense physical want for this boy to seep through her voice as much as possible.

He heard something in that last thing she said that he didn’t quite know what to make of, but it made him feel hot again, only this time the heat felt good.  He searched her face, trying to decipher if she was teasing or telling the truth, he thought she might be, or maybe that’s just what he wished he saw?

Brennan decided an actual demonstration would be a better way to finish teaching this lesson than a lecture.  She pushed her lower body and leg against him harder, then eased back a bit, then did it again.  She let her own excitement at the feel of an erect penis show fully.  She let herself breath a little heavier, and let a soft monosyllable “Mmmm” escape her, close to his ear.

His autonomic responses took control of him, and he pushed his hips forward, at first he was way out of sync with her and there were awkward moments when the pressure went away, which he felt as a dismaying ache, and times when it was too intense and kind of hurt, both his dick pushed too hard against her leg and his ass squished to hard against the wall.  But that didn’t matter because when it was good it was _so_ good.  Her heavy breathing sounded good to him too, he didn’t question why.  His hands moved all over up and down her back, they had no grace or skill.  She didn’t mind, she arched into his touch.  She especially liked it when his hand ran over her shoulder blades.  But the touch was too fleeting because he wanted to go everywhere at once.  She would have to teach him about that particular quirk of hers.  Later.  That was a couple of lessons ahead.  Even the best students needed to start with basics.

“See?  I like it too.”  She whispered in his ear.  He shivered when her breath tickled inside the cup of his ear, that was good too.  On some level he registered the meaning of what she said.  But mostly his mind was a simple repetitive litany of oh wow my boner is touching a girl god my boner is touching a girl a girl no touching _Miss Brennan!_ Oh wow it felt so. . . He was touching . . His bone. . .more. . . More. . . More . . . _More. . . MORE!_

He hadn’t realized he had said that last ‘more’ out loud, until she suddenly stopped, took a step back and broke all contact, leaving him trembling with need.  Oh no!  Was it wrong that he said that?

What had made her stop was not what he said, she had reveled intensely at making him call out.  But she had noticed his rhythm pick up to a fevered pitch.  She realized it would be over before they really got going if she didn’t put on the breaks.  He was incapable of stopping himself on his own.  She knew her abrupt departure had hurt and confused him, and she was sorry for that, but it had to be done.  This was going to be the hardest lesson for him to learn, she thought.  Maybe she was wrong to make him learn it so soon, but this was what she wanted.  She knew she could control him, and that was too enticing for her to resist, no matter what the rational part of her mind knew.  She had started down this path, and she was resolutely not going to look back.

She was the spider, and he the fly trapped in her web.  He could no more get away then she could stop watching him writhe and entangle himself further, until she devoured.

He couldn’t say anything, he just looked at her, trembling and hurt.

She put a hand on his shoulder.  “Steady, Zack.  It’s okay, you just need to slow down.”  She tried to sound as reassuring as she could.  She hid her dark thoughts in the back of her mind.  Because she really did feel great affection for him.

Even that simple touch on his shoulder burned him and make him ache for more.  He tried to obey what she said.  He took in several shaky, deep breaths.  He licked his dry lips.  That did no good, his whole mouth had gone dry.  “Oh” he croaked out in a dry voice that didn’t sound like his own.  “This is where we stop.”  he tried not to sound so disappointed, but he failed.  He should be happy with what he got.  He got to make out with the hottest teacher ever in the whole world ever.  But he couldn’t help that his body still wanted something more.

“No, we’re not stopping we’re just getting started.”  That hot and thick something was still in her voice, but he didn’t believe her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~Cliffhanger! Muahahaha! I wanna see you _squirm_ , kitties! No really, this is just where the coherent narrative stops at the moment.~~
> 
> Update 6/2 2PM: This is no longer a cliffhanger, go on to the next chapters!
> 
> Update 5/31 2AM: I'm sorry I haven't added anything yet. I don't know if anyone is anxiously awaiting additions to my story, that's just what I wish would happen, for my own ego. But anyway, I wish I could just sit and write forever, regardless of whether anyone else ever reads it, just because I'm having so much FUN. 
> 
> But real life does intrude, that's why I haven't written today, or yesterday. It was mouse cage cleaning day. Plus I have a new mouse that needs socialization. It's hard work gaining a mouse's trust when they come from a pet shop instead of a good breeder, so that's gonna take a lot of my time for a while.
> 
> But you don't care about that, do you? If you're reading this, you came for the smut, not do discuss pet mice. XD Don't worry, I'll give you more as soon as I can kitties!


	6. The Good Touch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As apposed to Bloodhound Gang’s “Bad Touch” LOL XD Sorry, I told you I couldn’t promise not to do corny things with song titles again.
> 
> Sorry for not updating for a few days. But now you can have another little taste.

But, he couldn’t leave it like that.  If this was really happening, there was _one last_ thing he just _had_ to do, one more sensation he wanted to burn into his memory forever.  He didn’t think he’d be able to actually ask for it, and was sure she wouldn’t give it, despite all that they had already done. 

But he would kick himself forever if he didn’t at least _try_.

“Miss. . . . M-m-miss Brennan. . . .” He spoke in the manner of a pleading child, but what he wanted was not a childish desire.  No, not anymore.  Muh--.” He cleared his throat.  “Miss Brennan, can I please have just one more thing?”  And of course there was the stupid blush again.

He sounded so sweet and shy and adorably blushing, she didn’t want to say no.  But. . . She looked quickly down the hall, one way, then the other, and listened carefully.  Still all clear.  “Maybe, if we make it quick.  What is it, Zack?”

His first name again.  Before, in class, for a month at least, it had always be Mr. Addy, or on occasion just Addy.  Now it was Zack.  Even through his social ineptitude and first time desire filled haze, somewhere in his sharp mind he was able to grasp that there was significance of some sort to that.  But _still_.  Before this moment he would have never thought of asking for this of anyone, let alone his _teacher! No way in hell his **teacher** this must be such a **bad** thing._

But it was happening anyway, he was starting to say out loud.  “Can I please . . . .Just once can I . . . I mean, um.  That is . . . c-can I j-just t-t-touch. . . .” He was incapable of saying it.  What would the right word for it be anyway?  He knew several adolescent colloquial terms for them, but he couldn’t think of one that wouldn’t get him slapped, he thought.

Even though she saw he couldn’t break through all the barriers to fully express himself, his eyes landed where his hands wanted to, and his request was perfectly clear.  Despite his inability to finish saying it, she was impressed with the courage she saw that it took for him to go as far as he had.  She decided she wanted to reward that.

“Yes Zack, you may.”  She said stepping forward a little.  But this was the last thing she was going to give him, free of charge.

He was in shock for a few seconds.  _How did she know what I. . .?  Did she really just say yes to . . . ?_   He tried not to think about it, he would stall out and not be able to move.  He almost did anyway.  He reached one hand up, and then froze just barely and inch from her body.

She nodded to encourage him and finally he just _did it._

His hand pressed against her right breast and _oh wow!_   It was soft and squishy almost yet firm at the same time and he wanted to cover the whole thing with his small hand so he moved it around, trying different positions.  He didn’t know exactly how you were supposed to do this.  So he just tried everything, and it was so good.

He was too naive and completely inexperienced to know what would happen to her when he did this, or why.  As he watched in amazement, Miss Brennan’s breathing got very heavy.  She closed her eyes and leaned her head back slightly, while pushing her chest forward, intensifying the pressure of his touch. 

Was what she was feeling similar to what he had felt when she did things to him?  Even through his heat haze, his exceptional mind kept working.  Questioning.

“What are you doing?”  He asked breathlessly.

“I’m. . . . uhohhhhh”  His palm had brushed hard against her nipple just then, and there was no way she could explain anything coherent while he did _that_.

“Is it because you like this?”  He took an intuitive leap.  He also put his other hand on her other breast and explored them both.  This seemed to make her more. . . Whatever it was.

“ _Yes!_ ”  What she said was more excited utterance than an actual affirmative answer to his question, but the point was made, either way.

“I thought. . . I thought. . .” He kept talking while he kept playing.  “Girls normally said no to this.  That they only say yes if they. . . Ya know, just let you.”

“ _Zack!_ ”  Half cry of pleasure and half frustrated exasperation.  Then she tried to clear her mind a little.  “Females have sexual desire just as much as males do.  We don’t just _let_ you do anything, we get what we want out of it too.”

“Oh.  Wow.”  he didn’t feel that coherent anymore, he gave her boobs a light squeeze to see what would happen.  It elicited a low groan from her which made him feel hot all over in that good way.

She gave him a quick, intense kiss, then pulled away completely until his hands slid off and fell away.

He let out a heavy sigh.  At least it had been very good while it lasted.

“We have to go now.”  Miss Brennan said with finality.

“Hoh-kay.”  Zack said slowly, still quite a bit dissatisfied, but obedient and resigned to not pressing further.  He had no idea he’d misunderstood her.

Brennan had misunderstood Zack, as well.  Not knowing why he sounded so despondent.  Until they reached the end of the hall.

Zack turned to head in the direction of the class he was almost too late to make it to at all by now.

Brennan turned the opposite way, and got a few steps before she realized Zack wasn’t following her.

“Where are you going, Zack?”

He turned his head slightly.  “I’m late for. . . I thought we were. . . I‘m gonna miss Mr. Brown’s class.  It‘s that way.”  He said completely clueless.

She gave him a delightfully mischievous smile.   It made her look like she was still just a kid, too.  “Do you want to. . . I believe the technical term is . . . Play hooky?”

Her ironic joke using _technical_ instead of _slang_ was not lost on him.  It made him forget about the complicated implications here, and his smile lit up his whole face.  “Yes!!”  He said with pure unadulterated enthusiasm and no over-analyzing or nervousness or guilt.

Brennan was pleased to see him accept so easily.  She tilted her head in the direction she had already been headed, and waved her arm in a beckoning gesture.  “Come on!”

The were still both grinning like fools as Zack eagerly turned around and followed Miss Brennan.

They forgot all about their responsibilities for the day.  The rest of today’s curriculum had been canceled in favor of this new line of study.

Today was Zack’s biology crash course.


	7. Under Rug Swept

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things begin to get. . . murky now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you know Alanis Morissette? (Her music, that is, not her personally, although that would be cool...) Well, if you don't, her song _Hands Clean_ from which the phrase "Under Rug Swept" is from, parts of that song are quite fitting here.
> 
> I love that song, I think it's kinda clear why. ;)
> 
> Edit 6/19, 5:20AM- If you need me to spelled out, I've got a kink for younger guys. :P Even those that are too young for me. Especially inexperienced guys. Why d'ya think I'm writing this damn story? ;)
> 
> If you don't know Alanis's song _Hands Clean_ , let me 'splain, it's about two people in a relationship with an age difference large enough to be unsettling, if it was known it would be judged inappropriate, if not down right illegal. Lots of iffy issues of not quite "right" control over a younger person and lots of undertones and interesting layers. The best thing about it for me is it sung by, and thus from the perspective of, a female as the older one. Although I think she may have been trying to speak from another persons perspective, I take my own interpretation from it, because that's what I like to enjoy, _in the safety of my own imagination._ All art is open to interpretation. I recommend you have a listen, it's a great song!
>
>>   
> _If it weren't for your maturity none of this would have happened_   
> _If you weren't so wise beyond your years I would've been able to control myself_   
> _If it weren't for my attention you wouldn't have been successful and_   
> _If it weren't for me you would never have amounted to very much_
>> 
>> _Ooh this could be messy_   
> _But you don't seem to mind_   
> _Ooh don't go telling everybody_   
> _And overlook this supposed crime_
>> 
>> . . . .  
>  _What part of our history's reinvented and under rug swept?_  
>  _What part of your memory is selective and tends to forget?_  
>  _What with this distance it seems so obvious?_  
> 
> 
> \--Alanis Morissette, Hands Clean
> 
> This was not my inspiration for this story, but you can see why it came to mind, can't you? If this story goes on further, I want to explore more of these uncomfortable issues. But Shhh! you didn't hear that from me!
> 
> Oy, all that rambling wasn't necessary, was it? I should really shut up and just let you read the story! **I'm sorry** I go off on so many tangents!!!!

As they walked down a series of hallways, out of one building, across a sidewalk, and into another, they passed many people.  Zack began to feel paranoid that people where looking at them, knowing somehow.  No one actually gave them more than a glance, but Zack felt he was somehow broadcasting that he was about to do a Really Bad Thing.  Anxiety and guilt and fear began to crowd out his excitement.  At least this had the effect of almost completely eliminating his hard-on, which was good for now because at least people wouldn’t notice _that_.

But he still felt this irrational certainty that at any minute someone was going to shout at him.  “Hey what are you doing?”  or  “Why are you following Miss Brennan?”

But of course no one did.

He was amazed at how calm Miss Brennan seemed, as if nothing out of the ordinary was going on.

She was calm, at least, until they got on the elevator.

They were in the second building now, the upperclassmen dorms, Zack was pretty sure.  On the ride up the elevator Miss Brennan seemed tense.  She didn’t say anything, so Zack didn’t either.  There was another person riding with them.  The guy gave Zack a momentary mildly curious glance, then went back to blandly looking at the elevator doors until they opened on his floor and he got out.  Once the doors closed Brennan turned to Zack.

“You be still, now.”  He mistook the tension and slight anxiety in her voice for a harsh reprimand, and was a little hurt and confused.  But he didn’t say anything and didn’t move.

When the doors opened again on the next floor, Brennan looked around quickly before stepping out.  She put her hand out to keep the elevator doors open and pinned Zack in place with her cold stare.  She spoke quickly, but as clearly and with as much authority as possible.  “Listen to me Zachery.  Until I say ‘everything’s okay’ follow behind me close.  Don’t say a word unless I tell you.  If I say to do something, do it quickly and without question, understand?”

Zack just looked at her wide eyed.  The elevator doors tried to close, but the safety mechanism made them retract when they encountered the resistance of Brennan’s arm.  But the touch had unnerved her and she spoke even more urgently and forcefully.  “Zack!  Tell me now if you can do this.”

He swallowed the knot in his throat.  “Yes. . .”

“Good, come on.”

She waited for him to slowly get off the elevator, let the doors close, turned and walked down the hall.  She didn’t look back at him, but said, “You have to walk quickly, Zack, keep up.”  She walked fast but tried not to run.  She looked and listened carefully.

Now there were footsteps up ahead, coming from the junction down the hallway.  Their were two voices.  Brennan‘s heart began to beat too fast.  “Turn around and walk the other way.”  She said under her breath.

“What?”  Zack was so confused.

“ _Go now!_ ” She snapped through gritted teeth.

Just a split second before the other two people came around the corner, Zack obeyed and walked down the hall the way he had come, slowly, feeling like he had been rejected, but somehow filled with adrenaline. _Caught caught caught caught caught!_ Ran through his mind while he tried to act like everything was fine.

Brennan put on a big fake smile.  “Hi Bill, Hi Kathy.” She said pleasantly.

There were two returned greetings, then Bill and Kathy continued down the hall, barely noticing Zack, passing him, then turned the corner at the elevators and went down another hall, out of sight.  Brennan stayed looking forward until she heard the subtle change in their footsteps, meaning they’d turned the corner.  She looked back to be sure, then whispered urgently to the boy walking as if in a daze, halfway back to the elevator.  “Come back now, Zack, fast.”

He turned around, but she had to wave her hand frantically to get him to start moving again.  He caught up with her just as she turned to one of the doors along the hall.  She pulled a key out of her pocket, unlocked and opened the door.  “In.  Now.”  She whispered to Zack urgently as she reached in and switched on the light.  She looked around one last time to make sure no one had seen him enter her room, then she followed him in with fake calmness.

Once in she shut the door swiftly, turned the thumb latch to lock it, then seemed to fall back against it.  She let her head fall back until it thumped against the door too.  Then she sighed.  She gave herself a second to put herself back together before she said, “Everything’s okay, Zack. It’s okay.”

She really looked at Zack now, and saw he looked like a wreck.  “I. . . I’m really sorry.”  She told him.  “I didn’t. . . I should have handled that better.  I. . . We should have come up with a plan before we got here.  I wasn’t thinking.”

That last line finally got his attention.  “You?”

She let out a soft, one syllable laugh.  “Believe it or not, Zack, I’m not perfect.”

The way he was looking at her, he seemed to have chosen the ‘or not’ option.

“Are you okay, Zack?”

“Yeah I guess. . . . Is this your room?”

“It is.”  She was surprised how quickly he got over what had happened in the hall.  _Well_ , she thought, _he’s not so much gotten over it, as gotten stressed out by some new thing that’s taking precedence in his mind._

He was looking around the room like a startled owl.  Or like he had never seen a bedroom before in his life, not just this specific room, but as if the concept of such a place was completely alien to him.

It was a really nice room, for a dorm room.  So much nicer than Zack’s standard first year room.  Brennan had one of the best rooms on campus because not only was she far ahead of him in years, but her position as a student-teacher came with benefits as well as responsibilities.  The walls were a pale cream color, very neutral and clean.  Not scratched and marked dull grey like Zack’s.  The carpet was darker than the walls, a sort of buff color, slightly higher quality than the rough, thin, ugly stuff on Zack’s floor.  On the wall with the door to the hall there was a brightly colored poster of a fractal pattern, spinning and swirling into infinity.  Against the opposite wall was a desk of some dark color wood.  It was old and worn, but appeared well cared for.  And there was a sort of organized clutter of items on it.  Stacks of papers and books, and a small laptop, of course.  But there was also an assortment of knickknacks, ranging from a beautifully ornate looking blown glass paperweight, several things that looked like they could be artifacts, all the way to a small plastic improbably bright colored toy horse with a flowing rainbow colored mane and tail.  So jumbled and eclectic but they all looked like they belonged there.  Even the little off-white thing on the end of the desk that looked like. . . Wait, was that a monkey skull?  It looked almost like a tiny human, except for the long, sharp canine teeth.  Creepy.

Back against the far wall, there was barely room for the three things there: a narrow pocket door, probably a small closet.  Next to that the bed.  On the other side of the bed a tiny bedside table.  It had a deep drawer, and on top sat a simple lamp, a simple alarm clock, and a paper back book.  The spine of the book was badly warn and so cracked he couldn’t read what it had once said, and he couldn’t read the cover from his present angle.  Hung above the bed was a large, framed blow up of a landscape photograph, a forested cliff with a wide river far below.  The bed, which was neatly made, with a deep blue bedspread, wasn’t a narrow single, but a double.  Simple, with no headboard or bedposts, but just barely big enough for two people to lie down comfortably.  Zack tried not to think of the implications of that.

He looked at the opposite wall.  In the far corner there was another door, partly ajar.  Zack could see a narrow triangle of shiny, faux tile floor.  Was that a bathroom?  He was impressed she had her own bathroom, and wished he did.  Sharing facilities was uncomfortable for a shy insecure kid.

He was looking everywhere but at Miss Brennan.  Well, he tried not to look at the bed either, but it took up most of the space in the small room, that and the desk.  So he looked at the desk instead.  His eyes skittered from one object to the next, memorizing them without trying to.  His heart was pounding and he still felt shot through with adrenaline and something else he didn’t know.

Although his mind usually grasped even complex concepts very quickly, more quickly than most people, this simple fact was slow to fully materialize in his mind:  _I’m in a girl’s room, I’m really in a girl’s room a girl’s bedroom in a woman’s room in Miss **Brennan’s bed** room._

He was still reeling from that while Miss Brennan tried to get his attention.

“Zack.” She said, but he didn’t look at her, or answer.  “Zack? . . . Zachary!”

He finally realized she was calling him and he snapped his head around and looked at her.  It was as if he was seeing her for the first time.  Her beauty hit him like a slap.  She was still leaning against the door, her head back and her throat slightly exposed.  Her hair had gotten a bit messy and slightly covered one of her eyes.

He couldn’t say anything. Too much adrenaline and testosterone and who knew what else in his blood and he just wanted . . . Before he knew what he was doing he had come to her and kissed her neck. He didn’t know why he wanted to but he did want to lick her throat and he did and heard her make a soft, husky noise that sounded like she hurt but not really, like it was good.  What he wasn’t fully aware of yet was that it was unbearable longing in that noise.  Then she nudged her head down against his forehead and pushed his head up with hers so she could capture his mouth and kiss him hard. His eyes closed and all he wanted to do was feel.  He felt deep inside her mouth with his tongue and his tongue went everywhere it was possible to go.  He felt her teeth graze across his tongue and then bite his lower lip.  Her arms wrapped around him and she pushed off the door.  She was pushing forward and walking him backwards toward the bed. She brought her hands up to his shoulders and began to push down the open flannel shirt he had on over a t-shirt.

She felt him begin to tremble under her hands and a thought shot across her mind.  _He’s only a kid, are you really going to do this to him?_   So she pulled back from him.  It was hard to do not only because her own body didn’t want her to, but he kept coming forward as she backed away.  But since she was taller she was able to pull her head up and end the kiss.  When she did his eyes fluttered open and regarded her with confusion.

“Why did you stop?”  He lifted up a hand toward her, it was now covered by the end of his sleeve and he looked even more like a child.  His movement was hampered because his shirt was now awkwardly bunched at his elbows.  He looked way too small and fragile.

“Zack, are you sure you want to do this?”  Her voice was unsteady.  She had no idea what she’d do if he said no.  But she had to ask, she didn’t think she could live with herself if she went ahead with out first making sure of this.  Even if the law and the rest of the world would never understand, or condone it, she needed this for herself, so she would be able to sleep at night.  “Zack?”

“I don’t. . . . I don’t understand. . . I thought. . . I thought you wanted to . . .?”  He sounded hurt and confused.

“Zack!  You have no idea how badly I want to do this!”  She winced.  She hadn’t meant to say that.  She thought it might be coercing him.  But it was too late to take it back.

“Good.  Then. . .” He tried to push up against her again, but she put her hands on his shoulders to stop him.

“Don’t do this just because _I_ said I want to.”

He didn’t understand why there seemed to be hurt in Miss Brennan’s voice.  And he didn’t understand why she held him back, he wanted to touch her and make that hurt go away.

“Just tell me what you _want_ , Zack, _really_.”

What did he want?  He wasn’t sure, and he had no idea what kind of answer she wanted from him, he only knew: “I want _you_ , Miss Brennan.”  And he blushed because that sounded so. . . He didn’t know what.  But it was probably the wrong answer, he thought, and he didn’t expect what came next.

“Call me Temperance.”  There was something stuck between authority and pleading in her voice.

“That’s a pretty name.”  He didn’t say this in an attempt to be charming, he didn’t know how to be charming.  He just stated what he saw as an obvious fact.

It still had the effect of making her smile, perhaps even more so than it would have coming from anyone else, since she knew he had no guile.  “Thank you.”  She got serious again though, and before she let him go, “And you’ll tell me, if at any point you want to stop?”

He didn’t know what was going to happen and he felt a little scared, so he thought about what she said for a moment, then said, “Yeah.”  But it didn’t matter how scared he was, he didn’t think he would ever have to tell her to stop.  He felt he would do anything for Miss Brennan.  For Temperance.

Temperance Brennan ran her hands from his shoulders down his arms, pushing his shirt the rest of the way off.  It fell to the floor.  Once Zack had his arms free he wrapped them around her.  She wrapped her arms around him, and then they were kissing again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oy. Have things gotten melodramatic? *wince* I wasn't trying for melodrama, I was trying to achieve. . . . emotionally fraught. I don't know if I succeeded.
> 
> **UPDATE: 6/5: You can go on to the next chapter, the cliff has moved!** ;) Yeah, this is no longer a cliffhanger chapter, it was at one point. Enough warm and fuzzy, it's time to get smutty! ;)
> 
> Old note you can ignore (from 6/2)  
> No seriously, this just happens to be where the coherent narrative stops for the moment, sorry. It's frustrating to me too 'cause it's just getting hot. I know what's gonna happen next, but not exactly how to get them there. That part of the story hasn't come to me yet. I said it was like pulling a thread, but it's gotten temporarily snagged. I can't make it come by just yanking on it. ....Oh, that sounded a lot dirtier than I meant it to. XD We'll get to THAT kind of yanking later on. ;)
> 
> Ta-ta for now, kitties!
> 
> (And yeah, I have NO IDEA why I started referring to my audience, that may or may not exist, as "kitties" It just happened late the other night/early morning. Maybe lack of sleep? Or perhaps It's because I'm feeling slightly high on my own writing process. Seriously, I feel kinda stoned without any drugs. Fun times! But please don't take offense if you really don't like being called a kittie, sorry! I'm only being playful!)


	8. Head Over Heels in Hero Worship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting carried away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now we are starting to finally get to it. The core fantasy that started this all. A few adjustments for more character depth, added more dialogue, gave Tempy _slightly_ more of a conscious than me, heh, (yeah, slightly. “hullo there rationalization man” Where the fuck did I get that?!? Oh yeah, House calls Wilson “rationalization man” at some point. Sorry for my random references to other things that have nothing what so ever to do with Bones!) that’s about it. Oh, made the discussion after the edging more awkward and slightly angsty, just because I like being mean to my fictional characters. Well okay, so as much as I wish they were, Zack and Temperance aren’t _mine_ , I’m just borrowing them for playtime, but you get the point, no?
> 
> Note-notes: ( _note-notes? WTF? I dunno, just go with it._ ) (3PM 6/5) I wasn’t going to post this chapter until I had the one that comes after it done too. But, eh, I don’t know when that will get done, honestly. The next chapter is supposed to have a lot of dialogue in it, and that’s _hard_. For me it is, anyway. I’m not used to writing big, long, hairy discussions between characters, my characters usually just. . . Ya know. . . Fuck around. :P But, gotta practice new writing skills sometime, right?
> 
> Yeah so anyway, point is, since I haven’t posted anything in about 5 days or so, and that block is finally clear and I got this chapter done last night/this morning. I thought I’d let you guys have this little bit of semi-smut, er, pre-smut? Whatever the fuck! It took me like six or more re-reads, adding, subtracting, general screwing around with to make this chapter seem to me like it wasn’t total crap, at least, dunno why. So I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> Have some fun with murky consent issues! Don’t try this at home, kitties! :P

Zack didn’t know the concept of hero worship, or how dangerous it could be.  But he was falling in it, head over heels.  He thought he would never have to tell her no.  He thought he would do anything for Miss Brennan.  For Temperance.  That just felt right to him.  Although it made him feel dizzy and shaky and something deeper that he couldn’t name, it felt wonderful.  It also made him start to feel hard again.  Standing there, kissing Miss Brennan, kissing _Temperance_ , feeling her arms tight around him and thinking about giving himself to her fully, whatever that actually meant, he wasn‘t sure, but it made him so turned on.  And he wasn’t quite so shy about letting her feel it this time.

If he had said that out loud, that he never wanted to tell her no, Temperance might have stopped this.  Or maybe she wouldn’t have.  On some not quite conscious level she already knew, it was a big part of what made him so irresistible to her.  She could make him do anything, she knew.  That intoxication was enough to short out her rational mind.  Besides, it wasn’t like she was going to hurt him, really.  He would enjoy this too.  That was her rationalization anyway.  She thought the spider was in control of the web, but really, she was just as much a prisoner of it as the fly.

That was all deep in the back of her mind, though.  All she was really aware of was how good it felt to hold his small, lightly trembling frame against her.  How eagerly he kissed and touched her when he was able to let go of his inhibitions.  She backed him up to the side of the bed and lightly pushed, that’s all it took.  His legs went out from under him.

Zack fell back on the bed and the breath was knocked out of him.  The bed was soft but the landing still felt jarring, both physically and emotionally.  Before he could wrap his head around this, she was on top of him and oh god he was under her and he couldn’t stop shaking.

There were a few awkward moments while his legs still dangled over the side of the bed.  He wiggled while he kicked off his sneakers by pressing the toes of one foot against the heel of the other, in that careless childish way.  He kept wiggling while Temperance nudged him along until they were both oriented the right way on the bed.  His head rested on a pillow, and her face was right above his.  He could look directly in her eyes without having to look up.  Her knees were on either side of his hips, just barely balancing her so that her full weight wasn’t on top of him, and she had just enough room to maneuver.

Before he had enough time to wonder what happens next?  She was tugging at the bottom of his tee-shirt, pulling it up.  Oh my god Miss Brennan. . . No, _Temperance_ was taking off his shirt!  He lifted his arms to let her.  Her hands were on his bare skin and he couldn’t believe how good it felt.  He groaned softly, and blushed deeply.

He put his unsteady hands on her sides, then around to the front.  “Can I. . .?”

“Can you what, Zack?”  She said low and seductive.

He didn’t understand seductive in an cerebral way, but he could feel it.  He tried to catch his breath, but it ran away from him.  “C-c-can I. . . I take this off?”  He tugged at her shirt.  “Miss Bren-- Temp-- Temperance?”

“Please do.”  Still seductive.

Her voice sounded full of heat to him and he was powerless under it’s spell.  Her shirt buttoned up the front, and he tried to undo it but his hands were shaking so bad he could barely manage this simple task.

She let him fumble through getting her shirt halfway undone, watching his eyes widen at her partly exposed breasts, until she got impatient and just pulled the damn thing over her head and tossed it aside.  She slowly slid down her bra and undid the clasp, watching his innocently unabashed stare crawl all over her and listened to his breath catch in his throat.

“Can I. . .?” His voice was full of need but he was unable to finish the sentence.

“What, Zack?”

“Can I-I. . . y-you know. . .”

“No, you have to tell me.”  She pulled back from his eager but nervous outstretched hand.

“I want. . .”  he tried to tell her with his eyes again, but she didn’t give in.  She shook her head and froze him with her hot stare.  He didn’t understand the pleasure she took from drawing it out.  Drawing _him_ out.  “Please?”

“Not until you say it, Zack.”  She whispered, but harsh.

Zack groaned.  “Please. . . Can I. . . Let me. . . t-touch. . . .you. . . your. . . knock--er. . . No! uh, b-boobs?”  He scrunched up his face then put his hand over it, feeling horribly stupid.

Temperance suppressed a laugh.  It was adorably funny, but she didn’t want him to take it the wrong way.  A small snort escaped her anyway and she saw Zack try to hide further behind his hand, if that was possible.  He made an unhappy “uhnnmmm” sound.

She pulled his hand away from his face and held it, but he kept his eyes closed.  “Good start, Zack.  Now say breasts, and you can.”

He hesitated.  “uh. . . b-b-breast?”  Then, “Oh!” as she put his hand where it wanted to go.  It was even more incredible then when felt through her shirt, back in the hallway.  His eyes snapped open, hungry.

“Good, Zack, hmm.  Now. . .” Her voice didn’t sound like an instructor, it was full of that something. . . Zack finally realized with amazement, that it was desire.  “Run your finger tips. . . Oh yeah right there. . . Across the nipple. . . Yesssss.”

He was surprised when it got hard under this fingers. “Wow” he said simply.

When she said quickly “Do the other one.”  He did.  He tried different things, seeing how she would react.  Different amounts of pressure and speed of his hands got him different little enticing sounds from her.  He wanted to memorize them all.  Finally he squeezed both her nipples gently between his thumbs and fingers and apparently that was a good thing.

Temperance couldn’t stand it anymore when he did that.  She bent down suddenly and bit him right were his neck met his shoulder.  This had the same effect on him as before, he bucked his hips up into hers and gasped.  Now that they were lying down, they were slightly better aligned and it felt even more exciting to her, she couldn’t wait any longer.

Her hands were working between them, and at first Zack didn’t know what was going on until suddenly his pants were looser.  She’d unbuttoned them!  Now she was sliding down the zipper.  “Temperance?  Miss Brennan!”  he reverted in his excitement and apprehension, a tingling feeling running all through his body as shit! she was taking them off!!  “What. . . What. . .Ohhhhmmm.”  he lost all ability to talk then.

He was so nervous to be so exposed.  So embarrassed for her to see him naked, see him hard.  But his desire was now stronger than all other emotions.  And that look in her eyes. . . He didn’t think this could be possible, but the evidence was there in front of him, he could no longer mistake that look, she liked was she saw.

He groaned and whimpered for sensation when their connection broke briefly while she pulled his pants, socks, and underwear off his feet, then started undoing her own pants.  She somehow wiggled out of them while still managing to lean over and kiss and suck and lick and nip his neck, sliding all the way down to his collarbones.

Zack was now wearing nothing at all but a watch, his stupid too big for him watch.  And he thought for a moment that that seemed so ridiculous but he didn’t have the presence of mind to stop and take it off.  His hands were too busy with the pressing need to play with her hair.  Oh, again with her beautiful rust brown hair!  It was waving all over around her face, trailing down to tickle his skin.  He followed the fall of her hair down along her neck to her back, then his hand was running up and down her back, her bare back.  While his other hand went to find her breast again.

She had managed to kick her pants off her feet, now she was naked she was totally naked and on top of him Miss Temperance Brennan was on top of him, Zack Addy it was unbelievable but it felt so. . . He just pushed up.  He could feel everything, oh wow, everything!  Warm skin pressed against warm skin.  He could feel the swell of her breasts and the little harder nubs that were her nipples pressed against his own chest, not his collarbones now.  He could feel her smooth taut belly, he could feel the rise and fall of her breathing.  On the outside of his legs he could feel the inside of hers they were so smooth and felt strong.  And where her legs met there was something secret and hot that he couldn’t reach yet.  When she moved he could feel her muscles flexing.

But the best thing was the pressure on the most sensitive part of him.  There were no clothes between them and he could hardly believe it.  He couldn’t believe she was letting his boner, his _dick_ press against her bare skin.  She had just lain her whole body against his whole body like there was nothing at all out of the ordinary about that.  Even though it was hotter than his normal body temperature when filled with blood he could still detect her body heat on his most sensitive skin.  It was like nothing he had ever felt there before.  And every breath she took every little twitch of her muscles _he could feel it._   Even if he hadn’t been trembling with nervousness and excitement before, this new sensation shook him even more.

She had moved back up from below his collarbone to his shoulder, his neck, then sucked his earlobe, breathing heavily into his ear.  He begged for more, mostly in incoherent monosyllables, but the intent was clear.

Since Zack was so much shorter than Temperance, and still completely innocent about what to do, he was still just humping against her.  Right below her belly, tantalizingly close to where she actually needed him, was now slick with pre-ejaculate.  It felt good but not good enough.  She’d had enough with just grinding.  She repositioned, getting ready to grab him, sliding up, giving him access to kiss her neck.  She could feel his muffled moans against her skin.

But then, _no!_ He was breathing too fast and too ragged, unable to keep contact with his lips anymore, unable to keep his eyes open, thrusting too fast, it was almost too late.  Seconds before he reached the point of no return, Temperance pushed off him, fast as she could, and rolled over on her back beside him.

Zack let out a strangled cry that was soul-wrenching.  He arched his back and thrust up into dead air a few times before his body and mind caught up with reality.  “NO!!”  His voice was lost and broken.  He reached out but she was gone.

After a few more heartbreakingly desperate moans, he opened his eyes and blinked rapidly, trying to get his brain to work again and figure out what had just happened.  A moment ago everything had been wonderful, and he had felt. . . He wasn’t sure but he felt like he had been close to the edge of something huge, he had no idea what.  His body only knew that he needed it.  He was now beginning to feel an unusual tight feeling and physical pain between his legs.  He had never done this before, but in his body’s desperation, his hand moved without him thinking about it and he was about to touch his own dick when Temperance’s hand shot out fast as a striking snake and stopped him.

“No, Zack.”  He turned his face to her, he looked dejected and desperately miserable, but still on fire.  Temperance pulled her arm away before he could grab on to that.  “Stay still, don’t move.”  She said with as much command in her voice as she could.  She knew she hurt him.  But if she didn’t make her imperative crystal clear, he would have gone ahead and jerked off, or gotten on top of her or even just rolled over and humped the bed, he was still on the edge and frantic for sensation.  If she didn’t keep him completely still and with no contact for at least a few more moments, there would be no way to stop him from prematurely ejaculating.

Although she knew this was unpleasant for him, she thought it was best.  If he had gone off prematurely he may not understand that it wasn’t his fault and fairly typical for someone so young and inexperienced.  At best, they would have to wait longer than she really wanted to before they tried again.  At worst, given his fragile self-esteem, he might be too embarrassed to perform for the rest of the day, or possibly longer.  She didn’t want that.

This was putting him on a steep learning curve, she knew, but thought he was bright enough, he could handle it.  She was doing this for his own good, she thought, to give him the best first experience she could.

Rationalizations aside, the darker part of her mind knew she enjoyed her power over him too much not to use it.  That was the no bullshit answer she didn’t allow her mind to fully materialize.

All that ran through her brain in seconds.  Meanwhile, Zack was whimpering at her.  “W-what did I do wrong?”

He sounded so hurt and pitiful, she tried to be as gentle as she could.  She wanted to comfort him, but any touch at all would still be too much at this point.

“Oh honey, you didn’t do anything wrong.  That was my fault, sorry.  I shouldn’t have moved so fast.  I got carried away.”

“But. . . But it was good I thought, I didn’t think it was too fast.”  He searched her face for answers.  “I don’t understand. . .”

“It was very good, but you were going to cum too soon.”

“Come?” Where was he going to come to?  He was already here.  At first he didn’t get it, but he’d always been a quick study.  “Oh you mean jizz.”  The words fell out of him in all in a heap, dropped like they had actual weight, and he looked down, defeated and feeling inadequate.

“Climax, yes.”  The teacher in her unable to help herself correct his vocabulary, even though that was immaterial at the moment.  She had used the colloquial term cum a moment ago without thinking about it.  She usually let her rational mind go during sex.  But this was a little more complicated.  She was both instructor and woman in lust.

“Do you know what that is, Zack?  Have you ever had an orgasm?”

He still wouldn’t look at her.  He was very uncomfortable with this blunt language.  He didn’t feel at all comfortable talking about this, especially to a girl.  But. . . Well. . . He had actually been _doing it_ with this girl, woman, wow, a moment ago. . . So. . . And she was waiting for an answer.

He talked low and barely audible.  “I’ve never. . . Couple times in my sleep something. . . I don’t really remember. . . But other than that I don’t know. . . I haven‘t. . .”  he couldn’t finish any sentence he tried to start.  She seemed to get it though.  His eyes flicked up at her, then back down again, only able to look at her for seconds at a time.

“That’s to be expected at your age.”  But she had looked surprised for a split second.

He wondered if it was his admission that he had cum in his sleep, or the fact that he hand never gotten him self off on purpose that surprised her? He didn’t ask, but she answered.

“Some boys your age have already tried it on their own, but not all, maybe not even half.  You’re just fine.  Do you understand that?”

He shrugged.

“I want you to understand this is not your fault, you did nothing wrong, and there is nothing wrong with you.  But because you are very young and haven’t done this before, you’re very sensitive.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means that you’ll have an orgasm before we. . .”  She felt herself loosing control of the situation.  She had meant to explain this to him in as much technical detail as she could, but she was feeling uncomfortable as well now, and she could see it was infinitely worse for him.  “You’ll cum before I’m ready, and in the same place you are, so to speak.”

“Does that m-mean w-we c-c-can’t. . . .”  His voice broke and he hitched in his breath sharply.  He felt like he was going to cry.  Which was so stupid.  But he was so frustrated by his body’s apparent limitations.  He wanted so bad to do this.  Not only because he was so horny he felt on fire.  But because Miss Brennan clearly wanted him to.  He wanted so badly to do this for her.  To be what she wanted him to be.  He was so god damn sick of always coming up short of what people expected of him in any interaction that wasn’t purely intellectual.  Oh they all marveled at his glorious brain.  But everything else about him seemed broken.  Right now he hated his own mind and wished to trade it in for a more normal life.  Yes, fucking _normal_.  Platitudes had failed him.

Temperance heard the beginning of what was going to be sobs and she just couldn’t stand it.  She wasn’t supposed to touch him right now but she couldn’t leave him like that.  She’d screwed up, now.  Nothing she could say would fix this.

She took a calculated risk.  She leaned down and kissed him, hard.  But she was careful not to let their bodies touch anywhere else.

His breath stopped catching in his throat and he threw his arms unabashedly around her neck and pulled tight.  The move was not in any way romantic or sexual.  Just the purely reaching out of a little boy who needed comfort.

When Zack’s grip relaxed just a little bit Temperance ended the kiss with a smile for him, and pulled away as slowly and gently as she could.

He didn’t really want to, but he let her go, trying so hard to obey her.  He didn’t feel in danger of tears anymore, but he still felt so vulnerable.

“Zack, yes we can.  I have something that will help you.”

“What?” He asked, curious, but afraid to hope.

“Don’t worry about it yet.”  She told him.  “I can’t give it to you now because you’re still on a hair trigger.”

He didn’t understand at all, and he frowned at her.

“I’m sorry.” Temperance continued.  “It’s my fault for going too fast.”    
  
She knew that wasn’t _completely_ accurate.  It probably wouldn’t have mattered how slow or careful she was, given his age and extreme level of inexperience, there probably would have been no way to avoid premature ejaculation.  In fact, trying to go too slow could have been worse then going fast.  But she wasn’t going to tell _him_ that.  Even guys much older and more confident then him could get embarrassed about that.  There was no way Zack could fully understand what was biologically not under his control was nothing to feel ashamed about.  So she shifted as much of the blame to herself as she could, and took it in a slightly different direction.    
  
“I should have slowed down sooner and this wouldn’t have happened.  I couldn’t help myself, Zack, you’re too damn hot.”  She finished.

He jerked as if he’d been slapped, and stared at her wide eyed and dumbfounded. He didn’t know what to be more shocked about.  The concept of _Miss Brennan_ not being able to help herself from. . . _Him_.  Or that she had used the word _hot_ to describe him, or simply that she’d said _damn_.

She couldn’t help but laugh at his slack jawed stare.  “Yes, Mr. Addy, that’s all true.”  And she swiftly kissed the tip of his nose, but pulled away quickly so as not to get carried away again.

He slumped his head back against the pillow and let out a groan which seemed to express every possible emotion in the world.  Then he said, while staring at the ceiling, “So what now?”

“We just have to take a break until you settle down.”

“Settle down?”  Zack looked at Temperance, hating not understanding, but too shy to ask all the questions he had.

“Until your erection goes away.”

“My. . .?  Oh.”  He blushed and looked away from her.  There was an awkward silence for a little while, then he whined “It’s not going away.”

She knew he was stuck.  It wouldn’t go away as long as he kept thinking about it, and as long as he was that aroused, it would stay there, and he couldn’t stop thinking about it, and so on in an endless feedback loop until he was helpless not to do something about it.  She had to distract him.  What did kids his age like to talk about, that had nothing to do with sex?  She didn’t actually know.  She could remember being a 14 year old girl, obviously, but she hadn’t talked to 14 year old _boys_ when she was that age.  And that had been _before_. . . .

And who knew about kids these days anyway?  She suddenly felt old.  She was only 22, but for the first time their age difference felt really uncomfortable to her.

“How are your classes going?”  She tried the first thing that came to mind.

“Fine.”  He said, disinterested, then he turned and beamed at her.  “Yours is my favorite, though.”

“That’s great, you like anthropology?”

“Love it.  But I bet you could make any subject interesting.”  He grinned at her, blushed, and bit his lower lip.  Then he looked down, then turned just his eyes back up at her through his hair, head slightly tilted.

With a look like that, she could almost eat him alive.  Almost did, before she caught herself.  She realized this was his first clumsy attempt at flirting, and it was adorable.  But it wasn’t going to help the situation.  His mind kept trying to find a path back to sex.  That was understandable, hers did too, it must be even harder for him right now.  (no pun intended)  But they wouldn’t be able to do what she wanted if she couldn’t lead him somewhere else for a while.

“That’s sweet Zack.”  She gave him a smile.  “But we need to talk about something else for a while besides me and you, okay?”

His adorable grin went away.  He groaned, unable to hide his impatience and frustration.  “Can’t I just. . .” He made a very vague gesture towards himself with one hand.  “And then we start over?”

“We’d still have to wait a while, and it will be much better if we do it this way.”

“Why?”  He sounded a little petulant now, the frustration was getting to him.  
  
“The longer you wait, the more intense the climax.  Just. . . trust me on that, alright?  It’ll be worth it, I promise.”  She tried to give him a reassuring smile.

The look he gave back was unhappy, mistrustful, and complicated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit 6/14: Okay go on now kitties! Two new chapters! Sorry it took so long to update. Hopefully things will move quicker now, we'll see.


	9. Rapture

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He’s getting carried off, or maybe they both are.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you know that the word ‘rapt’ (as in rapture) has it’s roots in the word ‘rape’ which in ancient times simply meant "to seize, carry off." And at that time _rapt_ was the past participle of _rape_. Think about that as it relates to this story.
> 
> Today ‘rapture’ means “very intense focus” and well, we all know what that other nasty little R word means.
> 
> Edit notes: I didn’t know this was going to end up so long it could be split into two chapters. This story is turning out to be way too long and too much is going on. I don’t know what I’m doing!!!
> 
> I’m sorry that it has taken me SO LONG to update. But here it is! I got most of it done relatively quickly, but then I had two chunks of conversation that I just couldn’t figure out how to connect together (that's in the chapter after this, which will be posted in just a minute). I was blocked there for days. When I finally got them together, I added more complicated elements to the story then I ever intended to. I don’t know if maybe it seems awkward and out of place or not, but it just happened. I tried to make it fit. I didn’t intend for this bit to be so complicated and LONG, so long I split it into two chapters. I hope it’s not so ramble-y and convoluted that you don’t like it. I don’t know. This story is taking more twists and turns than I ever intended, and although I started out with a clear idea of what I wanted to do with this story, now I have no idea what I’m doing!!! And I don’t know if it is good, or terrible. Most likely somewhere in between?
> 
> And I’m really sorry there is no smut in this update. :( But that’s coming soon I promise!
> 
> I want to give a shout out to everyone who has left me kudos or comments. I can’t tell you how much that means to me! :D Even though I write mostly just because it’s enjoyable to me, now I have even more incentive to keep going with this just to give you guys something you will hopefully enjoy, my dear readers.
> 
> Also, I'm adding the tags Hurt/Comfort and Slow Build with this update. I didn't know when I started that there would be so many H/C elements, and I had no intention for it to take _so long_ to get to the "fun part" but I guess that's what this is now.
> 
> Stay tuned for more, kitties, after this the really fun stuff is about to start!!!

Temperance looked at Zack sadly.  “I’m sorry, Zack.”  She said softly.  She knew it was terribly inadequate.  But, the sooner she moved on, the sooner they could get back to fun, and Zack wouldn’t be upset anymore.  “Just hold on.”  She said, and then sat up, turned to her bedside table, opened the drawer and started rummaging through it’s contents.

Zack looked at her curiously.  He sat up and tried to get a better view of what she was doing.  Her body was blocking his sightline to the open drawer, so he couldn’t see what was in it, but he heard the sound of lots of stuff rattling around.  His eye caught the bright yellow cover of the book on the table he noticed earlier.  Now he could read the cover.  ‘Stephen King’ was written in huge, block letters, below that the title: ‘Different Seasons’  Zack had never heard of it.  But wasn’t Stephen King that guy who wrote really scary stuff?  Why would you want to read something like that right before going to sleep?  Just what kind of girl is Temperance?  What has he gotten himself into? he wondered for the first time.  And what, exactly, is in that drawer and what is she gonna do to him? 

He was suddenly not just nervous but scared.  He glanced at the door to the hall.  He remembered the click of the lock, and shuddered.  Of course wasn’t locked with a key from the inside, he could get out if he wanted.  But what if he tried to leave and she tried to stop him?  She wouldn’t do that. . . Would she?  He’s small and skinny, and he’s felt how strong she is.  But instead of making him more scared the idea of her physically restraining him makes his cock throb and ache even more.  Any loss of arousal he might have had from his fear is now back, with a vengeance.  Why on earth would that happen?  He doesn’t understand, he just knows he has no intention to leave.  Part of him thinks he doesn’t care at all what she does to him if only she would just _please touch him._

His attention was drawn back to Temperance as he caught movement out of the corner of his eye.  She’d taken something out of the drawer, but he can’t see what it is she’s holding in her hand.  She looked at the thing in her hand, then at him, back and forth a few times.  But she was not looking at his face, she was looking down _there_ , and he felt uneasy, but still so horny.

She mumbled something so quietly that he couldn’t quite hear, she seemed to be talking to herself.  All he could make out was something that sounded like “. . .is not the right size. . .”  Then she turned back to the drawer and started rummaging around again, dropping whatever it was back in the drawer.  She took something else out, and again hid it from his view then looked back and forth again.  She nodded to herself then closed her hand around the object.  She kept it concealed in her hand while she shut the drawer, then turned and leaned back against the wall.

“What is that?”  He said slowly and suspiciously.

“Don’t worry about it yet.”  She smiled at him.

“Why?”  He kept staring at her closed hand.

“It’s what’s going to help you, but I told you I can’t give it to you yet.  So I don’t want you to think about it.”  She switched whatever the hell it is to her other hand and rested her hand on the bed so her body was blocking his view to get him to stop staring at it.  “Just wait.”  She tried to sound firm but reassuring.

He fidgeted, struggling between apprehension and arousal.  As he tried to see across her to whatever was in her hand, he realized that he was just staring right at her.  It’s the first time he’d seen a naked woman, so although his brain wanted to worry about what she had in her hand, his body had different ideas. 

He can hardly believe she’s just sitting there.  Naked.  Next to him.  And totally naked.  Every curve and line of her body is just there for him to see.  Since he’s no longer distracted by anything they are doing, since they’re not doing anything, he just takes a good long look at her.  Her breasts, her neck, her face, her hair, her belly, her legs, between her legs unbelievable he can see between her legs!  Not completely because she’s sitting up with her legs close together.  But he can see something, it’s smooth and hairless.  He doesn’t know what he expected but he didn’t expect that.

She’s so beautiful, but it’s more than that, she’s _hot_.  He wants her.  That he’s thinking such blatant sexual thoughts makes his face red, but he can’t help it.  He wants to touch her so bad, but he knows she wouldn’t let him.  But he just can’t stand it and his hand is creeping, of it’s own accord, wanting to touch himself.  He can’t help it, if he can’t touch her he just needs to do that and to stare at her forever.

She sees his hand moving.  “Don’t do that, Zack.”  She says sharply.

And he feels so ashamed.

She doesn’t want to be harsh, but she needs him to listen.  “There is nothing wrong with that, just not right now, okay?”  She furrows her brow, thinking.  This isn’t working.  He looked on the verge of just exploding without any physical stimulation at all.

Temperance got up off the bed abruptly, and started walking around to the other side.  He couldn’t help but watch her every move, he was held in rapture.

As she walked around the foot of the bed, he noticed her pants in an untidy bunch at the end of the bed, they hadn’t managed to fall off yet.  He could see a flash of something silky looking inside, mint green girly underwear, the same color her bra had been, where ever that had ended up, he didn’t know, and didn’t give a shit.  He saw his tee-shirt was draped half off the bed on the side where she had been sitting.  Most of the rest of their clothes were strewn around on the floor near his side of the bed.

Clothes being haphazardly strewn around seemed like. . . Something.  It seemed to imply something that was too big for his mind to grasp yet.  He had never been in this situation before, had never seen porn, or even an R-rated movie that went in this direction, but his mind was sophisticated enough to pick up that there was something about this, he just couldn’t get a hold on it completely yet.

But that wasn’t what he was focused on.  As she came around to his side she turned away from him and slid open the pocket door to her closet.  Zack couldn’t help staring at her ass with his hungry eyes.  Until the view was suddenly taken away from him as she slid on a light aqua colored silky robe.  He whined sullenly.

She turned around when she heard the noise, still tying the ribbon-belt in a knot at her waist.  “You‘ll see it all again soon.” She said half reassuring him and half teasing gently.  He didn’t notice at all when she slipped the thing in her hand into the pocket of the robe, he was too focused on the sad fact that he could no longer just see all of her.

As she walked back to the other side of the bed he had an adorable pout on his face that she was just dying to kiss.  But she didn’t.  She needed to distract him or he would never cool down.

Talking about school hadn’t worked, so she tried something else.  She sat down next to him again and asked.  “What’s your favorite sport?”

He turned his head away.  She knew she had struck the wrong note.  He muttered something unintelligible.

“What was that, Zack?”  The command in her voice made him speak up.

“I don’t like sports.”

“Oh.”  She said so simply.  “That’s okay, I don’t either.”

“But that’s okay for you, you’re a girl, you don’t have to like sports.  Guys are supposed to like sports.”  He sounded defensive and defeated at the same time.

“You’re not supposed to like anything but what you really feel you like, Zack.”  she said in the tone of an adult who knew what she was talking about.  She liked using his name.  It was a very cute name.  Plus she liked the authority over him it gave her.  He seemed hard wired to respond favorably to hearing it, like a well trained dog.  She was going to teach her new pet some amazingly wonderful tricks.  But first the cool down and building trust.

“But the other boys, back at my old school . . . Before I came here. . .And the guys here are even worse, because they are all older than me, so. . .”

She saw the distress on his face from old wounds, and pretty fresh ones, too.  She needed to get him away from that.  It would certainly get his mind off sex, but it would deflate more than his penis.  His ego, his feelings.  Things she knew all too well herself could be hurt deeply and never heal.  She had no intention of making those wounds deeper, or even picking at the scabs.  At the very least she could push them away for now.  If she was very very lucky, she might be able to make him feel just a tiny bit better.

“Forget them!  They aren’t here in this room.”  Temperance said with a ferocity Zack knew was not aimed at him, but the ubiquitous _them_.

She had only stated the obvious, that those who had tormented him weren’t here now, but it somehow made him feel very comfortable and secure to have that pointed out.  No one in the world was here right now but Zack Addy and Temperance Brennan.  They could be the only people in existence, for all it mattered in this moment.  Zack wanted nothing more than that.  Now he felt a sense of security instead of unease about the fact that the door was locked.  It was locked from the _outside_.  That word had new resonance for him in this context.

But still, a question persisted.  “But don’t girls . . . Ya know, only like guys who are into sports and strong and all that stuff?”

“No they don’t.”  Temperance said shaking her head and smiling.

“Is that really true?” He looked at her suspiciously.

“Well, maybe some girls do, but they are either shallow, or they are very into sports themselves, which is fine, but, either way, doesn’t sound to me like the kind of girl you would want to hang out with, does it?”

“I guess not. . .”  He seemed slightly unconvinced, but she knew she was making slow progress.  She would get there, no matter how long it took.

“I don’t care, at any rate.  I was only trying to think of something to talk about.  What I really want to know is, what do you like, Zack?”

“Do you really care?”  He looked skeptical.  It kinda sounded to him like she was talking to him the way adults did to kids, never really getting it.  He didn’t want to be talked down to.  He suddenly felt resentful of all she was doing to him.  Making him feel so good then taking it all way.  Talking to him like he was a child and she knew everything.  Well he would prove that she didn’t.

“I do care, Zack.  We wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.”  She tried to read him and she couldn’t.  She only knew he was pulling away from her.  She felt bad, thinking she had put him under too much stress.  She kept trying though.  “Tell me what you like to do, just for fun.”

He crossed his arms in front of his chest.  “I play FPS on my computer, do you know what that is?”  His tone said _I bet you don’t_.

“First Person Shooter video games, yes?”  She mimed firing an automatic weapon with both hands and a _fuck yeah_ kinda look on her face.

Zack was surprised into a laugh.  He still thought she was acting like a lame adult trying to not look lame, and he wanted to call her on it.  When she inevitably said that was her favorite type of game he would ask her to list some, and she wouldn‘t be able to.  “And where did you pick that up?”  He asked and raised an eyebrow.

“I’m not _that_ old.”  She stuck her tongue out at him.  “I’ve played a few.  But I prefer RPGs.”

“Really?  The action is to slow.”  He said.

“But the storylines are more involved.”

“Not always.  Some of them are lame.  What’s your favorite?”  _Now she won’t be able to think of one._   He thought.

“Neverwinter Nights.”  She said without a pause. “I like it old school.”

“That’s not old school, that’s just old.”  But he was grinning.

“It is too!  It’s based on D&D, you can’t get more old school than pencil and paper.”  In her vehemence to make her point, Temperance was leaning over towards Zack, and he could see down the steep V of her robe.

It took considerable effort for him to drag his eyes back up to her face.  And he didn’t even notice the significance implied by the fact that he did make the effort to do that.  But Temperance caught it.  “Do you actually play table top RPGs?” He asked.

“Yeah!  I used to all the time.  Hard to find the time now that I’m teaching and studying.”

“Then you have to know how boring it is dealing with all those stats.” He countered.

“Too difficult for you?”  She said that deliberately because she knew that it wasn’t.  She was giving him an open invitation to boast.  And she thought he’d likely take the bait.

He did.  “No!  I can memorize character sheets.  I can give you the odds on your dice roll.  I can calculate the accurate radius of a fireball without consulting a chart.  I just don’t _like_ it.”

She smiled at the little attitude he gave her.  His confidence with her was growing.  And something else was shrinking, at least for the time being.  “Okay then, what’s your favorite game, genius?”  She asked playfully.

“Counter Strike!  Classic.”

“Are you any good?”

“Yeah!”  Still with that bragging tone.

“Maybe we’ll play sometime.  I’m not that good, so _you_ can school _me_.”

He seemed surprised by that idea.  He tilted his head.  “No shit?”

Oh.  Shit.

He had been comfortably leaning towards her, with the hand towards her resting on the bed, partly supporting himself with his arm, and his other hand resting on his leg, completely unselfconscious.  Now he pulled away from her and again crossed his arms across his chest.  “Sorry.”  he muttered.  Not looking at her.

At first Temperance was confused, she thought it had been going so well.  What had so suddenly changed?  Then she replayed the last of the conversation in her mind.  “Zack, it’s alright.”

“I didn’t mean to. . .”  He looked and sounded like a little boy again.

“It’s okay, Zack, you can say whatever you want.”  She felt it was important to get him over his aversion to coarse language.  To let him know he could express himself however he wanted.

He looked at her slowly.  “You’re not mad that I said. . .” he didn’t want to repeat it incase she did get mad.

“I’d prefer if you didn’t start randomly shouting profanities in my class, but this is different.  We’re just two people talking.”

He laughed a little at the idea of standing up in a crowded classroom and yelling out something wildly inappropriate.  But then he seemed to really turn over the important point in his mind.  Just. . . Two. . . People.

She tried to draw him back out.  “Ever play Alien vs. Predator FPS?  Or any of the other Aliens games?”

“Sure I have.”

“I’m better at them.  I think they rock mostly because I love the movies.”

He tilted his head and regarded her quizzically.  “Don’t tell me you like sci-fi.”

“I would argue Aliens is more horror than science fiction, but yes I do.”

“No way!”

“Yes way.” She said playfully mocking.  “Why?”

“Oh nothing, I just live for sci-fi, that’s all.  You can’t be that into sci-fi.”

“I can’t?  Why not?”

_Because it would make you too perfect_.  Is what he thought, but he said,  “Because you don’t look like a geek.”

“Try me.”

“Star Trek or Star Wars?”  He said with a suspicious tone, like he was giving her a trick question.

“Star Wars of course.  Although they aren’t really mutually exclusive.”

He seemed pleased with that answer, he grinned.  “Of course they’re not.  But it matters which one you’d pick first.”

She nodded agreement.  “So we’re on the same page with Star Wars, what else do you like?”

“Stargate, Battlestar Galactica, Farscape, Avatar. War of the Worlds. I could go on. . .”

She commented on each one in a row.  “Great, great, I think it’s under appreciated, contrary to critics I think it lived up to expectations.”  She tilts her head before addressing the last one.  “Original or remake?”

“Both.”

“Which is better?”

“While the effects in the new one were cool, they always loose something vital when they remake a classic.”

“I’m impressed.”  She looks at him respectfully.  “Twelve Monkeys?”

“That’s creepy, it’s not science fiction.”  He wrinkled his forehead.

“It’s got time travel, that’s science fiction.” She argued.

“If that counts, then so does Aliens.  It has _aliens_ , duh!”

She giggled.  “I never said it didn’t count.”

“Yes you did!” He’s acting argumentative, but it’s good natured, he can’t stop grinning.  “You said it was horror.”

“I said it was both.”

“No you didn’t!”

“Yes I did!”

They go back and forth like that for a minute, until Temperance gives in.  “Okay well I meant it was both.  Sci-fi horror is a sub-genre.”

He considers this.  “Far enough.  Have your read Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy?”

“So long and thanks for all the fish!”

That makes Zack laugh hysterically.  He almost collapses on his side with uncontrollable giggles.  Not just because it’s funny, but because _he gets it_.  This is a conversation he won’t get lost in.

“Do you know Red Dwarf?”  Temperance asks.

“Temperance, no way!  Red Dwarf, seriously?”  He’s still laughing.

“You opened the door to it, I just followed you lead, you brought up Hitchhiker’s.”

He gets the subtle connection, they both have an absurd sense of humor.  “Smeg head!” he yells in pretend insult, and now he’s made _her_ laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously, when I wrote the description of her room, back in ‘Under Rug Swept’ I just put a book on her bedside table because it seemed like a natural, logical thing that should be there. It wasn’t until I started writing this part, and thought about the book again because I knew the focus was going to shift to the table. I thought wouldn’t it be funny if she’s reading a Stephen King book, since there is so much of me in her. Then I decided it should be Different Seasons because there is some really fucked up twisted stuff in the stories in that book. Not just scary, King always does scary, but really twisted and sexual. So I thought why not put that in there as just a little amusement for myself and maybe any other King fans who might read this. And then it wove itself into the story so nicely, I didn't know it would!
> 
> But don’t worry if you have no idea what I’m talking about. Knowing the stories in the book Different Seasons is _not_ necessary to enjoying _this_ story. It’s just a little Easter egg if you do.
> 
> Also, I randomly put a picture of a fractal on her wall because I think they are cool, and thought it would be something someone smart like her might have, not knowing it would come into play too. (that's in the next chapter, you'll see) Funny how those things work, isn't it?


	10. Trust Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Falling is scary, but sometimes it's good, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit(2AM, 6/22): Okay, this chapter is a little less rough now then when first posted. I fixed a few teeny tiny things and got rid of the silly internal notes. I’m still not completely happy with this chapter, but I don’t know how to fix it. So I’m just going to leave it as in for now and move on with the story.
> 
> If you have any suggestions or constructive criticisms, or any other thoughts or opinions, feel free to leave me a comment. Comments make be the happiest little fanfic writer in the ‘verse! Hehe. ;D

He enjoyed watching her laugh, knowing that _he_ had made her laugh.  But she wasn’t laughing _at_ him.  This was another new experience, and it was great.  This was all too good to be true.

Oh, wait, what if it really _was_ too good to be true?

Uncertainty crept up on him again.  He abruptly changed the subject.  “Temperance, why are you doing this?”

“What, talking to you?  I like it, and it’s a good way to--”

“No, I mean all of this.”  He raised his hands in the air.  “Why are you. . . ya know.”  He didn’t have the right vocabulary to finish the sentence.  He’d never been in a situation like this, and he didn’t know how to define what it was.

Temperance got the basic idea though, she thought about how to answer.  She felt a little lost for words herself.  “I just. . . want to.  Don’t you feel that way, Zack?”  Her voice was a little uncertain.

“Yeah but, I don’t understand it.  Like. . . How. . . Why. . . Just, all of a sudden you want to. . . uh. . . with me?”  His insecurity resurfaced.

“Not really all of a sudden,”  She said slowly, thinking about it as she said it.  “It snuck up on me.  At some point I noticed the way you were looking at me, and then I noticed I liked it.”  She tried to give him a sexy smile.  It was true, plus she thought it would give him an ego boost if she admitted how far back her attraction to him went.  But she didn’t realize the full depth of his insecurity and unease with the whole idea of sexual attraction.

The bottom dropped out of the world.  _She knew?_ “Oh fuck!”  He said with dismay.  Then he realized what he had just said.  He covered his mouth with his hand in shame and horror that he had said the F-word out loud to an adult.  That was way worse than shit.

“What, you think I’ve never heard that before?”  There was amusement in her voice.

“I.. I-I…”

“You can say whatever you want, remember?  You won’t shock me or make me mad at you.”

“Shit.”  The word just came out, because he felt weird.

“Is that really what you wanna talk about?”

A laugh was forced out of him, considering the lunacy of discussing literal shit.  He was still a boy, and disgusting things couldn’t help but be funny.

“That reminds me,” she started.

Zack was intrigued.  Where on earth was the conversation going with a segue like _that?_

“Can I make a suggestion?  Something sci-fi you might have overlooked.”  She continued.

“Yeah?”  He was dubious, he knew _a lot_ of science fiction.

“Stephen King’s Dream Catcher.  Read the book, _don’t_ see the movie, they royally screwed up the ending.”

He liked the way she was talking.  So different than in her class, but it seemed natural and easy.  It made him feel. . . Well, he didn‘t know how to put it in words, but the unformed idea was that he was getting to see a different side to her, something she maybe hid from most other people.  The deep feeling he couldn‘t name was that he was privileged to see her with all her guards down.  “Dream Catcher?  That doesn’t sound sci-fi.”

“Yeah I know, but it is.  Aliens and telepathy and all.”

He cocked his head.  “Horror sub-genre?”

“Oh definitely, you’ve never been scared until you’ve encountered a Shit Weasel.”

“What the hell?”  He said through a burst of surprised laughter.

She knew that would get him.  She laughed with him.  “I kid you not.  Read it!  You’ll see.”

“What the hell is a Shit Weasel?!”  He continued to laugh uncontrollably.

She shook her head, grinning smugly.  “I’m not gonna tell you, it will ruin the surprise.”

Still laughing a little, but now he looked at her with a complicated, intrigued, and slightly confused expression.  He was thinking: cool video games, sci-fi, even scary sci-fi, and the ridiculous immature humor of Red Dwarf, obviously she liked Stephen King, not to mention the creepy monkey skull on her desk, and she had just said ‘shit weasel’ (what ever that was) like it was something greatly amusing, which from his point of view it was, but she was a _girl._ . .

“You don’t seem very girly.”  He seemed both surprised and enticed by that idea, but also a little confused.  She defied expectations.  He also had no idea that what he said could be insulting to some females.

Luckily, Temperance wasn‘t one of them, she was simply amused.  “I think you have an inaccurate stereotypical idea of what girly means.  I _am_ a girl.”

“But your so cool.”

She smiled at his awkward honesty.  “What, girls aren’t allowed to be cool?”

He stumbled over his social clumsiness.  “No!  I didn’t mean. . . I just. . . I’ve never met. . .uh, crap.”  _I’ve never met someone as amazing as you._   He would have said if he had the social skills to know how to say just the right thing.  As it was that concept was just a deep feeling not formed in words in his mind.

She felt like doing something wild like saying _I’ll show you how much of a girl I am!_ Then take off her robe and just have him, but it wasn’t time for that yet.  Instead, she tried to get him to understand a more serious point, that connected back to where they started from.  “People don’t have to fit in boxes, Zack.”

“Boxes?”  He doesn’t get it.

“We don’t have to conform to stereotypes.  Most cultures put a high value on conformity.  Fitting in.  Labeling those who don’t conform as outcasts.  It’s a natural need for social creatures to feel like they belong to a group.”

“Yeah,” Zack said despondently.  “I never. . .” he sighed.  “Fit in.”

“I understand.” Temperance said.

And Zack saw by the way her expression has changed and the tone of her voice that _she did._   In a way no one ever has.  Those two simple words carried so much weight.  _She understood._   For a moment Zack felt like he couldn’t breath.

“But standing out can actually be a good thing.”  Temperance continued.

“How?”

“By definition, something or someone extraordinary stands out from the rest.  For someone to achieve excellence they must break free of the constraints put on them.”

Zack sighed.  That’s the way people always talked about his brain.  Like it was so special.  But to him it felt more like a hindrance.  He wanted what every kid his age did, to _belong_.

While she knew his mind was sophisticated enough to grasp these concepts, on an emotional level he was still so young, he needed something else.  So Temperance changed tactics, just slightly.  “So I’m not ‘girly’ so what?  It doesn’t bother me.  You don’t have to like sports any more than I have to like. . .” She paused for a moment to think of something he might think of as stereotypical female behavior “To obsess over shoes or watch romantic comedies.”

She felt a little inept.  She thought what she had said probably sounded silly and wasn’t quite adequate to make her point.  But Zack surprised her by grabbing onto something and taking it in a different direction.

“What?  You don’t like romantic comedies?”  He was giving her a complicated look, but he no longer looked despondent, there was a hint of a smile creeping at the corners of his mouth.

She rolled her eyes and her head.  “They are nauseating!”

“What other kinds of chick flicks to you like, then?”

“I don’t like any!”  She liked how fast he could move from a serious tone to a light hearted one, and she eagerly moved there with him.

“I don’t believe you!”  He said defiantly.

“If my DVDs weren’t all in storage, I’d prove it to you.”  She challenged.  “You wouldn’t find anything.”

“Seriously you don’t like _any_ lovey mushy shit?”  He narrowed his eyes at her.

She leaned forward, opened her mouth, stuck out her tongue, put a finger partly in her mouth and mock gagged.  “Eeaahhh!”  Even though Temperance was older, she was just barely in her twenties, part of her was still a kid.  It felt natural to let that part all the way out with Zack.  “What’s _your_ take on the genre?”

He mimicked her exaggerated gag, and they both laughed.  Then, “Come on!  There has to be _something_.”  He prodded.

She paused, then, “Dirty Dancing.”  She said as if confessing a shameful secret.

“Hah!” he scoffed with satisfaction that he had found her weakness.  “Never seen it, don’t want to.”

“Then I know exactly what to do to you if you misbehave.”  Was her comeback.

“You don’t have a TV in here!”  He smirked.

“I’ll get one just to torment you.”  She smirked back.

They both fell into an awkward silence at the accidental implication that this was something more than a one time thing.  Nether one of them was ready for that.  Zack felt like his head was spinning.  Temperance felt apprehensive that she might have spooked him, and to be honest, she spooked herself.

No way did she want an actual relationship with this boy.  Besides the incredible impropriety of his age, she refused to give in and trust anyone completely.  Experience had taught her that if you get attached to someone, they will inevitably leave you and there was nothing more painful then that.  She liked this with Zack the way it was right now, she had control over him thus control over the situation.  She erroneously thought she could keep him at arm’s length, letting him in just a little but keeping him at a safe distance.

But she felt her control slipping and tried to get it back.  “Um.”  Temperance tried to move past it and pretend that unspoken idea wasn’t hanging in the air.  She tried to move the conversation back to something casual.  “What about Firefly?”

Zack wasn’t looking at her, he was staring idly at the fractal poster on the wall.  “It was canceled.” he said with a sigh that either meant disinterest or disappointment.

“I know! Isn’t that most horrible injustice in the world?”  Temperance said emphatically.

Zack spun his head around to face her so fast it was comical.  “You like Firefly?”  All his unease had gone away and he didn’t even notice it’s departure.

“Of course!  It’s only one of the best sci-fi series ever.  Space travel with an old western feel, there is nothing else like it.  And the subtle undertones and symbolism, like the metaphor of the name Serenity, the concept of seeking freedom.  Everyone has their own reasons for being there, they’re all searching for something.  The theme of defiance against an unjust system.  Morality in shades of grey, not black and white.  The protagonists are criminals in the eyes of the law, the principle antagonists _are_ the law.”  She hadn’t meant to ramble on so much, and she felt a little embarrassed.  Until she noticed. . .

Zack was staring at her in awe.  “Nobody I’ve ever talked to understood Firefly that way.”  He said with quiet astonishment.  “Even the theme song, it’s so simple yet with so much depth.”

Temperance felt a little unease at his intensity, but at the same time she was flattered.  “We can’t be the only ones who see it that way.”

“Apparently not enough, or it wouldn’t have been canceled.  There was still so much to explore.”

She nodded agreement.  “Stupidity.”  She said with contempt aimed at the rest of the world, aside from the select few who appreciated Firefly.  But she was impressed at such a young adolescent’s grasp of the complexities in good fiction.  He really was a genius.  If only he knew how to apply those skills to real life situations.

But then, he was still just a kid, he didn‘t stay on a philosophical level for long.  “I think River is really hot.”

Oh no!

He scrunched up his face with his eyes closed and made that uncomfortable little groan again.

At first Temperance didn’t understand what was wrong.  “What’s the matter?”

“I’m sorry. . . I. . . didn’t mean to say. . . uh, River. . .”

“What, you expect me to think I’m the only female you’ve ever been attracted to?” She said with gentle amusement.

“Well, I guess not, but. . . I don’t know. . .”

“Don’t be silly, Zack.  Expecting anybody to only be attracted to one person ever is more preposterous then even the most unrealistic concepts in science fiction.”

“Yeah but, isn’t it rude to say. . .?”  He was trying so hard to follow social rules he didn’t understand.

But Temperance didn‘t follow all the regular social rules.  “No it’s not.  Anyone who says different is either too insecure or too hung up on narrow ideas of interpersonal norms.”

Although earlier he had liked getting to see the side of her that talked casually, he also liked that she could throw big words at him and he could catch them.  The rise and fall of the discourse was unusual, people usually talked one way or the other.  And Zack had a hard time getting a handle on either.  This ebb and flow caught him in it’s current and somehow made it easier for him to relate.  It seemed counter intuitive, but it worked.

“So you don’t mind?”

“Of course not.  I can see how you could identify with her.  She has abnormally high intelligence, like you.  And like you her abilities make her an outcast and make it difficult for her to connect with people.  Although her abilities are pure fiction, and yours are real, I can see the connection.”

“Really?”  He was surprised by her insight, in the back of his mind he felt his infatuation with her deepening into something more, something he wasn’t ready for the front of his mind to grasp yet.  He had never felt such acceptance before, and it was intoxicating.  Even his family didn’t understand him on precisely this level.  He didn’t know it yet, but he was falling hard.

“Yeah, really.  Plus I’m sure her good looks had something to do with it.”  She winked at him.

His face got a little pink.  He wasn’t sure what to make of that last thing she said.

Temperance went on with making her point.  “Would you be offended if I said I found Jayne hot?”

“Jayne?”  He barked a laugh in disbelief.  “He’s so. . . He’s so. . .”  ‘Dumb’ seemed like the wrong thing to say.

“The antithesis of intellectual?”  Temperance suggested.

“Damn right!”  He said, but still felt a little uncomfortable using profanity.  But it felt so easy to talk to her, he did it without thinking.  He was still surprised that she was completely unfazed and just went on talking.

She laughed a little.  “Attraction is a funny thing sometimes.”

He thought about that.  He wanted to ask her why she was attracted to him, but he was still too shy to go that far.  And he still couldn’t believe she really _did_ like him, _that way_.  He didn’t know what he was going to say until he was already saying it, scratching the surface of the deep attraction he felt inside.  His voice was shaky and he wasn’t entirely sure why, it was embarrassing but he couldn’t stop it.  “This can’t really be happening.  You like video games, sci-fi, even firefly, you’re so smart, but you like silly shit like Red Dwarf and Hitchhiker’s . . . you don’t like chick flicks, next you’re gonna tell me you like action movies instead.”  He said that last with sarcasm, as a way to retreat from his too intense emotions.  He expected her to say something like ‘no I’m not that perfect, don’t be foolish’ or something that would burst the bubble in his head.  He wanted the bubble to burst, it was way too much.

But she did nothing of the sort.  “I _love_ action movies!”  She said with a child like grin that made something in Zack’s chest tighten.

He tried to push it away.  “No fucking way!  There’s _no way_ you like car chases and explosions and shit!”  He cursed deliberately this time to try to provoke her.  To try to break the emotional connection that felt so good it was scary.  He still didn’t get it that that wouldn’t work on her.

“And fight sequences!” She added.  “Lots of car chases and explosions and fights, the more gratuitous the better!”  She said with youthful exuberance.  She liked that she could use a word like gratuitous and he could grasp it.  His mind was so amazing for a fourteen year old.  That coupled with his innocence, eagerness to please, and boyish good looks was making her fall somewhere she didn’t want to go.  She didn’t even realize she was going there, if she did, she would have tried her hardest to stop it.  She still naively thought it was simple infatuation and sexual attraction.

She saw the look of skepticism on his face and decided she had to prove it.  “Quick, what’s the best action hero TV series?”

“ _Burn Notice!!_ ”  They both said at the same time, and were both surprised into laughter.

“Jinx!”  Temperance said with gleeful snark.

“Fiona is so. . . oouhmmmm”  Typical male groan of simple sexual attraction.  It made him blush and think she would be offended, again.  He still had a hard time grasping her open-mindedness.

“I feel the same way about Michael Westen.”  She said in a voice that somehow made him shiver.  “Also, you owe me a soda, you broke the jinx.”  She said matter-of-factly.  At twenty-two, so much of her was still a kid.  She wasn’t faking it to make him feel comfortable.

Zack was finally realizing he was helpless to pull away.  Just the tiniest part of him still resisted.  He kept testing her.  “Okay, I can see why you like Burn Notice, it has some good plot twists, a tough guy who takes his shirt off way too much”  He rolled his eyes at that, while Temperance just grinned, unashamed that yep, she did like that.  Zack continued, “Sam is good comedic relief, and it even has some yucky romance.  But,” he leaned toward her defiantly, “What about good old action flicks like Die Hard??”

“I own every one!  They are the epitome of classic action.  Bruce Willis _kicks ass!_ ”  She saw his defiance and raised him exuberance.

“No!  You’re teasing me!”  He said with a mixture of disbelief, a little fear of being hurt, and just barely daring to hope.

To prove she was telling the truth, “ _Yippee ki yay motherfucker!_ ”  Temperance yelled out with great gusto.

Zack’s eyes widened and his mouth dropped open.  “I can’t believe you just said that!” He said while starting to laugh with wild abandon.

Temperance smiled at him with satisfaction and delight.  His laughter was music to her ears.  “Isn’t it the best catch phrase ever?”  She giggled a little, then a little more, his laughter was contagious.

Zack started rolling on the bed laughing, totally unselfconscious about being naked, just giggling with pure boyish mirth.  He didn‘t care that when he rolled over on his stomach his ass stuck up in the air.  He didn‘t care that when he was on his back or doubled over on his side that his genitals flopped around ridiculously with no clothing to keep them in place.  “Yippee ki yay motherfucker!” He said and renewed his laughter to an uncontrollable fit.  “Yippee. . . . Yippee. . . Ki yay. . . Yip. . .”  He could hardly talk he was laughing so hard.  “Yippee ki yay. . .” more giggles. “MOTHERFUCKER!”  He shouted as if it was a release of something pent up inside him.

“Shhh, not so loud, Zack.”  But she was laughing almost as hard as he was.  It was one of those times when something merely funny inexplicably turns into something unbelievably hilarious.  They repeated the infamous Die Hard line at each other a couple more times, descending them both into hysterics.

When their laughter finally died down to intermittent giggles, Temperance noticed Zack looking at her with an intense, complicated gaze.  He had sat up again.  Too much euphoria from all that laughing had gotten to him, he was high on it, and so he said something he otherwise would have been incapable of saying.  He spoke softly and with great defenselessness.  “You had me at Firefly, Temperance, you didn’t need to be so perfect.”  He reached out a tentative, shaky hand and touched her cheek.

She leaned into the touch.  “Zack.”  Temperance was taken aback by his charm.  And he didn’t even know he was doing it, she thought.  After she said his name she couldn’t say anything else, she felt the need to clear her throat.  She could hardly believe the courage it must have taken him to say that.  It made her want to take him right then and now.  But she had worked so hard to cool him off and gain his trust, she wasn’t about to waste it and get carried away again.  Although she couldn’t resist one soft, quick kiss, then she pulled away fast.  There was just one thing to do first.  She tried to clear her head so she could.

She realized they had talked more than long enough, he had been relaxed for some time now.  She had enjoyed talking with him so much, it had become much more than just a means to cool him off.  But he was ready for more now, she could tell from the look in his eyes, and what he‘d said.  And she was ready too.

Now, how to accomplish this?  She could simply tell him to hold still and let her do it, he would listen.  But she didn’t want to make him too nervous while he was finally showing some confidence.  She decided on a whim to just try something.

Abruptly, Temperance said, “Zack, count the points on my fractal poster.”

Zack looked at the poster and said “Why?  That’s not really possible because a fractal has infinite points.  Besides, a printed representation can’t possibly show all--”

While he was talking, Temperance slipped out the small silver-tone metal hoop she’d been hiding in the pocket of her robe.   Moving swiftly, she leaned over, lifted up his dick with one finger, and slid the ring down to the base, where it rested against his skin and his fine pubic hair, the lower arch pressed firmly against the top of his scrotum.  It went on easily, he is very small when he’s soft.

Temperance was surprised that worked.

“What the hell?!?”  Zack interrupted his own ramble about fractals when he realized something was going on.  By time he looked down it was all done.  He stared down at himself in bewilderment.  “What is _that_?”

“It’s generally referred to as a cock ring.  It’s what’s going to help you last longer.  Remember?  I said I had something to help you, this is it.”

“This is it?  How is this supposed to help?”  With child-like ignorance to how silly it must look, he flicks the ring with his finger and it rotates just a little, it‘s very loose.  “I don’t understand how that will do anything.”

Temperance tried to explain.  “It will get tighter when you get an erection.”  She saw him wince and blush, so she rephrased.  “When you get hard.”

He just winces again though, and sucks in breath unsteadily.  “Will it hurt?”  He sounded small and scared.

“No, it won’t hurt.”  She ruffled his adorably floppy, wavy hair with her hand to try to reassure him.  “It will feel a little strange at first, but you’ll get used to it, it won’t be bad.”

Zack kept looking at the ring dubiously.  It was metal and unpleasantly cool at first, but it conducted his body heat well, soon becoming the same temperature as the skin it touched, making it less noticeable overall.

Finally, he looked away from himself and back up to her face.  “Temperance?”

“Yes?”

“I’m scared.”  He sounded like such a little boy.

“What are you scared of?”  She asked softly.

“I don’t know.  And that’s what scares me.”  His voice was full of angst.  “I know that’s circular reasoning, but. . .”

She marveled at the dichotomy of his sophisticated mind and his child’s innocence and uncertainty.  “It’s okay, Zack, fear of the unknown is a powerful thing.  It’s completely understandable for you to be scared.  But everything will be alright.  Unless you want to stop?”

He shook his head emphatically.  “I don’t want to stop.  I’m just. . . scared.”  He sounded frustrated with himself.

“I promise it will be okay.  Do you trust me?”

“Yes.”  He said as easily as falling off an unseen step, and just as jarring.  He felt like he had suddenly fallen off something and into her trust unwittingly.

Temperance saw the startled look on his face, she held out her arms invitingly.  Zack scooted closer to her.  For a little while she just held him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhhhggg! I didn’t mean to put elements of romance in there! *headdesk* *headdesk* *headdesk* I don’t DO romantic! I do sick and twisted. When I started out writing this part I had no idea hints of romance would sneak in there. But the story is what it wants to be. I don’t have that much conscious control over it. I hope the lovey-dovey shit is subtle enough that it doesn’t nauseate you, my dear readers.
> 
> Although I’m afraid it’s too much, I really didn’t want to go there. -.-
> 
> A note about cannon. (Hah! Like this story has anything to do with cannon. As if! :P But, I know in the actual series Zack does like sports, or at least, likes watching some, he goes on about that basketball player in that one episode can’t remember the name. But I don’t care, this is my AU, I can do whatever I want. And in my world, Zack dun like sports, neither does Tempy. Cuz this is my fantasy and I don’t like sports! Plus it became a sort of important plot point, if you can call anything in this lame story a “plot” 
> 
> The part about him being insecure because he doesn’t do sports like other guys was an important element in the original fantasy that started this whole snowball rolling. I hear you say “you mean you stopped in the middle of your own simple masturbatory fantasy to have a conversation in your own head?!?!?” Uh, yeah sort of I did. Although of course it was just a vague outline, the idea of bonding with a guy who had similar interests as me, and making him feel like it was okay that he was different. I added much more detail and layers of different things going when I turned it into a real work of fiction. I’m actually surprised at some of the directions it took. 
> 
> And yeah Tempy’s more like me then herself in that long conversation, but I don’t care, I’m not gonna change it, although I did add and adjust what I could to make it seem more like her. Her open-mindedness and dislike at being bound by traditional relationships I relate to, so I'm taking that idea and running with it, running waaay far, you have no idea what other crap is in my mind!
> 
> Also, I invented my own kind of cock ring that I don’t think really exists. LOL You’ll see why later, much much later. Like I’ve said, it started out as a get-off fantasy, I wasn’t concerned with reality.
> 
> So, if you don’t like it, go find your own AU to play in. As Jake said, “Go then, there are other worlds than this!” Ohhh did you catch that reference? Bet not. But if you did, hit me up in the comment section! :D
> 
> BUT more importantly, the bit about Zack liking Firefly is totally cannon!!! It’s mentioned very briefly in that one episode dunno number but: The Man in the Fallout Shelter! Squeeee! That’s why I had to put that in here! How could I pass that up? *total browncoat nutcase here!* If you don’t get that, don’t worry. It’s just the greatest Sci-Fi series ever in the whole world ever! So I made it a big part of their bonding. But I didn‘t mean for it to get so. . . Mushy. Yuck. Do you like my play on “you had me at hello” or is it lame and nauseating? I still haven't decided my own opinion on that, heh.


	11. This chapter needs a name, yo!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And now here comes the smut you've been waiting for! Well, it's just a little smutty for now, but chapters after this will get even better, I promise!
> 
> Please be aware this is in a rough, unfinished state right now, will fix later.
> 
> This as of 6/18, 12:50 AM

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m updating, because I love you, kitties! ;) And I want to show you I’m still working and the story is still flowing.
> 
> Sorry updates have been so slow. I’m trying to write but I have two problems getting in the way:
> 
> One is I have kind of a sleep cycle problem. Sometimes I don’t sleep hardly at all. That was actually kind of fun when I first started writing this story, I was writing all the time like a mad bastard. But now I guess it’s caught up to me, because I’m sleeping too much and tired all the time. I keep passing out randomly like I have narcolepsy.
> 
> The other problem is, writing smut, I. . . interrupt myself, and waste time. *eye roll*
> 
> You see, damnit, my mind is in the gutter so much lately, well, I always have a dirty mind, that’s my natural state of being, but since I’ve been spending so much time working on this story I can’t seem to think about anything but sex. (‘But!’ I hear you say, ‘there is a lot of the story thus far that has no smut in it!’ Yeah I know, but like I said in the beginning notes, I’m not writing completely chronologically. While working on some part, I’ll get a flash of an idea for some part farther in the story, and I gotta go jot that down, and sometimes even chase the thread for a while so I don’t lose it. So I’ve actually written a lot more smut then you’ve read yet. Don’t worry, you will see it when it’s ready! And plus, I have to go back over things several times to spell check and tweak things, it doesn’t come out perfect the first time. So I have to read the smutty parts over and over) the point I was trying to make, it’s causing me to. . . Well my hand is very sore!!! Some other parts have gotten sore too *blush* But I NEED my hand to type! I’m gonna have to resist temptation if I’m gonna be able to finish this story so you guys, my dear readers, can have fun with it, because my wrist is really killing me!
> 
> OH! That reminds me, remember when Bones broke that sick serial killer’s wrist? Uh…Epps! Then in a later episode he complained to Booth that since there was nothing else to do in prison, he really needed his wrist. HAHAHAHAH!!!!
> 
> **Anyway, I’m giving you an update, even though this chapter is in a very rough state, and is still full of notes and is incomplete!** Just so you know I’m still working. I’ll clean it up later. I also need to clean up and tweak a few things in older chapters. Oy, so much to do!
> 
> Remember, internal notes are in brackets, [like this!] I hope that will cut down on confusion.
> 
> It’s a little embarrassing posting something in such a messy state, but I did promise to show my writing process in action, so here it is.
> 
> Blah, forget all the technical stuff, just enjoy the smut, kitties!

[Okay this next chapter need a title - maybe it’s Her Cat Smells Like Teen Spirit?]  
(If I can tie in her smell and ~~her telling him to call it cat not pussy~~ \---will that fit in one chapter?)  
[turns out that doesn’t fit in one chapter.  See the note at the end for how you’re gonna fix it]  
  
Zack didn’t know how long he had just been sitting there, leaning against Temperance with her arms wrapped around him.  It felt both like an eternity and an instant.  In reality it had been a little under a minute until he noticed he could smell her.  She wasn’t wearing perfume, but he could smell a faint hint of lavender, from the soap she used, and an even fainter something under it.  The smell of just _her_.  The scent of another person.  A girl.  A female.  A woman.  He didn’t understand why he liked it.  When people talked about someone smelling, it was a gross thing, like someone who had been exercising and sweating a lot, or someone who didn’t bathe often enough, or stinky feet.  But this was different, although it made no sense to him.  He was beginning to feel turned on by just the idea that he was so close to Temperance that he could smell her.  Not sweat or dirt but just her.  And lavender.  And there was something else in her hair.  He didn’t know what it was, something vaguely flower-like, from whatever shampoo she used.

Before he knew what he was doing, Zack had leaned closer and was inhaling almost directly against her neck.

Temperance could feel his breath faintly puffing against her skin.  She started running her hand slowly down his back, making note of the subtle bump of each vertebrae.  Until she reached his lumbar spine.  She counted in her head _L1, L2, L3, L4, L5_.  Then she wend back up to L1 and repeated, rubbing the small of his back up and down with slowly increasing intensity.  She felt his breath get slightly faster and heavier against her neck.  But when she reached further down, to feel the curve of his sacrum, intending to follow all the way to the bump of his coccyx, his tailbone, before she could even get that far, she heard him gasp and felt all his muscles tense.  Of course, she thinks, he would still have deep reticence to being touched there.  She wanted to push the limits of his inhibitions.  But not too far too fast.

[I’m not sure if I want that bit about going down to his tailbone, think about it, although I do love the phrase “push the limits” reminds me of that song, now I wanna listen! Now I‘m adding: I like using the word reticence so I think I will put this in there.  ----look up Rubicon --- yes crossing the Rubicon is a metaphor for going past point of no return, I inferred the right meaning the first time I heard that phrase in a SK book <\-- that's a completely random note out of no where for much later.]

So she changes course and goes all the way up his back, slowly.  Then she reaches his cervical spine, the back of his neck, and apparently that’s very sensitive for him.  Zack arches back into her touch, breathing heavier.

He got scared for a moment, when her hand went. . . Why did she go down _there?_   But that went away quick when she started rubbing his neck.  He doesn’t know why it feels so good, but he doesn’t want to think, he just wants to feel.  He pushes his neck back to intensify the press of her fingers and the slight bite of the tips of her nails.  A tiny sting that his mind wants to rebel against but his body insists on taking.

When he leans his head back, Temperance turns her head and takes his slightly parted lips with hers and kisses him, slowly, sweetly, sensually.

They start off slow.  There isn’t that urgent hurried heat of before, at least not yet.  Part of the reason, although Zack doesn’t realize it consciously, is what happened earlier is making him gun shy.  His subconscious is worried that will happen again, get so good then be taken away.  He’s also nervous about the cock ring.  He trusts Temperance, and she said it wouldn’t hurt, but _still_ , there’s a metal _thing_ wrapped around the most sensitive part of his body, that’s incredibly freaky!  He’s afraid to get hard.  But it’s starting to happen anyway, although slowly.  He’s young and it doesn’t take much to get him going.

But Zack’s reservations are not the only reason they start out slow.  Temperance could make it go fast if she wanted.  Zack is an adolescent who hasn’t learned control yet, if she pushed it his body would respond and he’d be swept away.  Fast was fun earlier but variety is the spice of life.  Temperance wants as many different experiences with Zack as she can get, and also giving him as wide of an experience as she can.  No matter how slow they go, she thinks it will be over and gone too quickly.  So she’ll stay with slow as long as she can.

She tastes his mouth and captures his little startled hungry cries as she presses her blunt fingernails harder into his neck.  His hands are in her hair again.  _He really has a thing for my hair_ she thinks, amused, as he plays with it in a mix childish fun and an adolescent’s first attempt at sensuality.  Temperance moves her hand up from his neck into Zack’s hair now, those floppy, messy, too long waves are really unbearably adorable, she thinks.  Now the only sounds in the world are their breathing and the soft, sliding, slick, smacks of their kissing.

The kiss seems to go on forever.  Zack thinks it’s the best kiss of his life.  Not that he has much to compare it to.  Besides the little pecks you get from family, the only real kisses he’s had are today, from Temperance, and they’ve all been good, but this one is the best.  He can’t imagine anything ever being better than this.  Because this isn’t the alluring but unobtainable Miss Brennan, who teaches him anthropology.  This is Temperance, the girl who likes Firefly, and every sci-fi from ridiculous to scary, who likes car chases and laughing over dirty words and said she’d play Counter Strike with him and. . . Something feels weird and too big in Zack’s chest, and his head is swimming and full of cotton.  That doesn’t make any sense!  He’s never felt like this and why should an emotion feel physical?  What is this emotion anyway?  He feels like he needs to catch his breath, and it forces their lips to part, ending the most wonderful kiss of his life.  Of course he doesn’t know there are plenty more to come.  He looks into her eyes, they are amazing, pale green with irregular spikes of pale gold shooting out from the pupils, but he’s not sure of what he’s seeing in those eyes, his eyes are intense and questioning.

His hands slide out of her hair, but before they can fall away completely and break their connection, so he can retreat again to insecurity, Temperance grabs both of Zack’s hands in hers, holds them gently but intensely.  He keeps staring at her, and she’s staring back.  It makes him feel dizzy, he’s not used to such strong eye contact.  He’s not used to much eye contact at all, he’s so shy he often avoids looking people directly in the eyes.  But now he feels like he’s falling into hers.  “Temperance.”  Is all he says.

And they’re kissing again.  This time a little more intense, a little more passionate.  And now _this_ is the best kiss of his life.  Her tongue is invading, going everywhere, and he welcomes the invasion, wants to be taken.  He tries to catch her tongue with his, trap it with his lips, but she’s swift and skilled, and he’s not.  It gets away but he goes after it, now his tongue in her mouth, and she catches it.  Sucks on it.  Makes him gasp into her.  Both her hands are now going up and down his back.  Skin against skin it feels so good.  He wants to touch her but the damn robe is in the way, but he can reach her neck, so he goes there.  He wants to see if he can do to her neck what she did to his.  But he should have used the other hand because fuck!  His watch got tangled in her hair.  Stupid goddamn watch!  He forgot he still had it on.  He can’t get it loose and now he’s starting to panic, he’s going to pull her hair and he so desperately doesn’t want to hurt her.

Temperance feels the frantic movement and tugging on her hair, she stops the tongue games to say, “Shhh.  Hold on Zack.” and grab his arm.

He whimpers, scrunches up his eyebrows and his forehead, and presses his lips together so firmly they seem to disappear.

But Temperance remains calm.  It’s awkward because she can’t turn her head to see, but she uses both hands to feel for the buckle, undoes the watch from his wrist so he can put his arm down and relax.  Now she can more easily maneuver the offending watch around and get it out of her hair with minimal discomfort.  She sets his watch down on her table, on top of her book, for now, then turns back to him.

But the moment is broken, and Zack doesn’t know how to get it back.  His eyes dart around, not looking at Temperance, his hands fidget with the material of the bedspread.  Finally he says, “What do we do now?” in a timid little voice.

“Anything you want.”  Temperance says low and soft.

Anything?  He wants _everything_.  And he doesn’t know where to start.

[Normal <\-- it just says “normal” right after “he wants everything.”  What the fuck was I gonna write!?!?!?  ROFL I knew exactly what I was trying for when I wrote ‘Anything? He wants everything.’ but I have no fucking clue why I wrote ‘Normal ‘  Apparently I passed out with narcolepsy at that point.  Anyway, moving along.]

“Come on, Zack.”  She says in a voice that makes him shiver.  She gently grabs his hand, then puts it back on her neck, where it wanted to go before the watch interrupted things.  “Do what you want.” she whispers as he slowly begins to explore her neck.

The very subtle huskiness naturally in Temperance’s voice got more pronounced when she was turned on, Zack was noticing.  He thought there couldn’t be a more beautiful sound in the world.

He wants to hear more of it.  He runs his fingers to the back of her neck.  The back of his hand is brushing against her silky hair, while his fingers explore her warm smooth skin.  He mimics what she did and presses his fingernails just barely into her skin.  She makes a soft, husky sound.

“Does that hurt?”  He asks, a little worried.

“It hurts _good_.”  She says in her husky voice.

He doesn’t understand the meaning of her words, ‘hurt’ and ‘good’ can’t go together.  But her voice is so enticing, he gets harder, and isn’t thinking about the ring.

He presses just a little harder, and she presses back, arching her neck back, and her throat is exposed.  He wants it.  So he kisses her there, at the front of her throat, and she makes more noises.

Even though she seems to be enjoying it, he’s a little uneasy about being rough, using his fingernails.  Also, he just wants to touch her everywhere.  So he moves his hand down, sliding it under her robe, moving around uncertainly until he finds the ridge of her shoulder blade.

He didn’t expect _that_ would cause her to lightly gasp and increase the volume of her little husky moans, but it does.  “You like that?”  He asks softly and a little shakily.

“Yesss, that’s good, Zack.”

So he keeps doing it.  Rubbing all over her scapula until he feels too restricted by her robe, he wants to explore more, and he wants to _see_ more.  He’s now frustrated that she’s still wearing clothes but he’s not.

When he pulls back and looks at her, she says, “What do you want now, Zack?”  Soft, seductive, husky.

“I want to see all of you.”  He says in a thick voice he’s never heard from himself before.

Temperance smiles.  It’s the first time Zack has asked for something with out stuttering or hesitating.  “Go ahead, I want you to see me.”

“Will you take this off?”  He’s slowly running a hand down one side of the collar of her robe.

She leans forward and whispers in his ear.  “You take it off.”

He sucks in a huge breath, closes his eyes, exhales, and opens them again.  His hand, a little shaky, goes to the wide, ribbon-like belt holding the robe together.  He looks up at her face.  She nods.  He pulls.

She had it tied in a kind of slip knot, so a single pull on the right end is all it takes, the little loop on top slips down and disappears.  The knot is undone and the belt falls away and then the robe falls open, exposing most of her body.  It all seemed to happen in slow motion to Zack, although in reality it was very quick. 

He pulls in his breath quickly again, and with his eyes eats up all he can see.  He can see a lot, but not everything yet.

“Keep going.” She tells him.

And he couldn’t resist that hot voice if he wanted to, but no way does he want to.  He wants to keep going more than anything in the world.  Although he’s not sure where to start.  But he wants to see her breasts and they are still half covered on each side, so he pulls the robe open there and stares openly.  Temperance rolls her shoulders and the robe slips some.  Zack’s eyes are drawn to the movement and he gets the idea.  He pulls the robe more open and higher up so it slips off her pretty shoulders, it then starts to slide down her slender but strong arms.

He puts his hands on her arms, sliding down, feeling her soft skin, pushing the robe all the way down, until it’s off, in a silky shiny puddle of fabric around her on the bed, but all of her is there for him to see again, and his hands are in hers.  His breath is coming in fast and irregular.  “You’re. . . so. . . Beautiful. . .” He breathed, trying to look everywhere at once.

Temperance looks down, then back up at him with a crooked smile.  “Thanks Zack, you’re sweet.”  she said with some vulnerability that he didn’t understand the reason for.

He shook his head.  “I’m not sweet, I was just stating a fact.”  He was still breathless, but spoke in a simple, matter-of-fact way.

“Well, you’re adorable, and _that’s_ a fact.”  Temperance said.

Zack blushed and smiled.

“So, now what do you--”  She paused when she saw he was shaking his head.  For a moment she was concerned and didn’t know what was wrong.

But he was smiling as he shook his head.  She kept asking what he wanted to do.  He wanted to. . . Well, he felt very shy saying this, but he managed to anyway.  “What do _you_ want to do, Temperance?”

Her smile widened, his voice had sounded small, nervous, and very hot all at the same time.  “I want to kiss you and touch you.”  She said softly and thickly.

“oh-uh-ohh.” he stutter-moaned and shivered.

“Would that be alright?”  She tried for playful, but Zack missed it.

“Yeah!” He said, a little startled that she thought she had to ask.  _Of course_ it would be alright, it would be a thousand times _better_ than alright.  He just didn’t know how to express that idea.

She smiled even more at his enthusiasm, leaned toward him as he leaned toward her, and when they kissed it was hot and heavy.  Lips pressed together hard, sometimes teeth crushing lips a little uncomfortably, but they didn’t let that stop them.  Loud wet smacks, tongues tangling together.  Teeth grazing, nipping tongues, lips, causing little moans that made lips break apart just barely, for an instant, and then they were together again.  She sucked his tongue again, and the vibration if his moan transferred to her lips, traveling all through her.

When he tried to mimic her, she allowed her tongue to be captured.  But in his inexperienced eagerness he sucked too hard.  “Immmph!” She cried muffled against his lips.  But she didn’t let him pull away and retreat into useless shame and apology.  There was too much urgent heat now.

She bit his lower lip, and dug her fingernails into the back of his neck again, making him powerless to pull away.  He was trembling and sinking, losing the ability to sit up.  So she went down with him, pushing him into a prone position on his back.  She lay down right next to him, partly on her side, partly with her upper body on top of his.

He was so smooth.  She had noticed this earlier, when they first started, but the urgency had been too intense to explore this fully.  Now that what he couldn’t control himself was held in check by the ring, she intended to take full advantage.  One of her hands was still on the back of his neck, trailing upwards into his hair, that arm partly supporting her.  Her free hand she trailed all over his smooth young chest, capturing his little startled gasps and helpless little moans with her lips.

Zack had hardly any chest hair.  Just the faintest, lightest, almost imperceptible bit of body hair running down between his pectoral muscles.  Temperance ran her hand down there, then to his smooth belly, then just below is belly button there was a little bit more hair, in a thin line, very gradually getting slightly thicker and more noticeable until it blended into his pubic hair, which was still slightly fine, at least compared to what it would be in a year or two.

But she stopped just before she got that far, making his combination gasp-moan so loud he was forced to break the incredible kiss.  He immediately wanted to get back to it, but Temperance was too quick.  She took this opportunity to start kissing him everywhere else on his face.  His cheeks, his chin, his jaw, all delightfully smooth and devoid of any facial hair.

He kept trying to move his head so he could kiss her, _anywhere_ , he just wanted contact with his lips, but at this angle he couldn’t reach her.  He could only call out helplessly and run his hands all over her back.  He had never even dreamed of this sort of kissing, but it was great.

She deliberately brushed her palm over his nipple and delighted in the way his body jerked under her and the pleasurably startled “uh-hah!” sound he made.  But then he said, as she continued to play with his nipple, “Wuh-what are- _uh!_ are you _doing?_ ”  On the last word his voice had gotten embarrassingly high, caused by a mix of unease, confusion, and undeniable pleasure.

“I’m making you feel good.” She said in a lilting sexy voice that almost made him lose track of any thought in his head, but _still_. . .

“But. . . But. . . I thought. . .” What did he think?  He wasn’t sure exactly, but the vague subliminal ideas supplanted in his brain by their culture, ideas about this subject to which until this very day he had made a conscious effort not to think about, these ideas were surfacing now.  “I just. . . uh, I just. . I’m a guy.  I don’t. . . I just. . . do that. . . to you. . .”  He thought that was very unclear, how would she understand?  He didn’t even understand it.

But Temperance understood what he was trying to say.  Another hang-up she had to overcome.  “Nipples have many nerve endings, they are sensitive on both males and females.  But not everyone enjoys exactly the same things.  Do you want me to stop?”

He shook his head.  “Nuh-uh.”  It still seemed weird to him, but it did feel good, and she apparently didn’t have a problem doing it, so. . . He didn’t want to think so much.  And it was almost impossible to think anyway, because now. . .

She flicked the tip of one finger across his nipple until it got hard, then went to the other one.  Enjoying the way he writhed under her.

She moved her lips from his jaw down to his neck.  She could smell him, it intensified the more worked up he got.  She wanted to make him hers.  She wanted to suck his neck until it bruised.  That was probably a bad idea, but she had gone way passed bad ideas.  That Rubicon was crossed, all they way back in the hallway.

[oooh!  I didn’t think I was gonna use Rubicon until much much later, referring to Zack crossing over inhibitions.  But I like the way it just snuck in there, keep it!]

When she moved down to his neck, which felt so amazing, he was finally just barely able to turn his head and reach her.  Without knowing why, _he just had to_ he grabbed onto whatever he could reach with his mouth.  He kissed her earlobe.  He sucked on it.  He was surprised and delighted by the reaction that seemed to cause.  He could feel her moans vibrating against his neck, and she was sucking harder, so much it kind of hurt, but he didn’t want it to stop.  She shivered, _he_ had actually made _her_ tremble.  He was sort of amazed at having the power to do that to her.  He wanted to do _more_.

He grazed her earlobe with his teeth, somewhere back in his mind worried she wouldn’t like that, but he was too on fire to stop.  Apparently it was good though.  He didn’t realize he was also breathing heavily into the cup of her ear, but that was contributing to her reaction.  He ran his hands along her back, hard, although they were still trembling.  He put each of his hands on her shoulder blades, his mind held onto just barely enough coherency to remember she had liked that.  And the combination of all of this, it was working.

He couldn’t believe it but she was moving her lower body against him, rhythmically.  She was pushing that secret something, the area between her legs, against his leg.  Oh my god _she_ was humping _him_!! She had moved slightly more on top of him, and her leg oh god it was touching him it was touching his hard dick and he humped back.  He felt something overwhelming, he didn’t know what it was, but something tried to move inside of him.  He didn’t know it but he would have had an orgasm right then if the cock ring hadn’t held it back.

After she let herself get carried away for a while, Temperance made a conscious effort to slow herself down, slow them both down.  She had control and she was going to use it.  She was going to make this last.

She doesn’t leave him abruptly, she doesn’t need to nor want to.  But she controls the pace.  After she’s given her clit a good rub against his leg, she pulls her hips back, slowly, just slightly.  She stops sucking his neck and just licks it.

His breathing is jagged and uneven, but her touch now seems soothing.  He wonders what’s going on but she hasn’t left him.  He’s still enjoying this.  His body follows her lead without a conscious decision to do so.  She leaves his neck, forcing him to let go of her ear, and he starts to whimper softly, but she cuts it off by kissing his lips, slow and softly.

[^we need to add in there that he’s fully hard, and the ring is tight, she asks him if it hurts and so on.]  
  
  
[Okay, so we’re gonna call the NEXT chapter “Her Cat Smells Like Teen Spirit”  instead of this one.  The one above will be “Control”  Or maybe “Push the Limits”  that’s a good song, damn good song.  Maybe “The Principles of Lust” Cuz I had her say “do what you want” and that’s in that song and I keep hearing it in my head.  Apparently I’m being heavily influenced by Enigma at this point.  Gah! I can't decide what to call this chapter!!! *headdesk* ]

[Oh but right now I'm listening to Push the Limits and I think I can use the lyrics in the summery, it would be fitting!!!  The Principles of Lust is an awesome title, but maybe I'll find somewhere else to use it.]  
  
[Anyway figure out where the chapter break should be.  And remember _This is a bit of a spoiler_ ~~when they’re talking and he gets to touch her pussy, she makes him call it cat instead, tie in her smell, and lavender, again somehow,~~ so the chapter title makes sense, to me anyway, dunno if anyone else will get it.]  
  
[Also remember you need to go back and put an alarm clock on her table.  So that later it’s not ‘huh?  Where the hell did that come from?’  Ah, the complications of posting a WIP.]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I know, cock rings don't work that way!! Neither do windmills!! :P Oh, there's an obscure reference for ya, anyone catch it? Nevermind the windmills. Anyway this is _my_ universe, and I told you there would be unrealistic elements. So, enjoy the way I invented to torment Zack, or go find your own universe if that bothers you. ;) This is how we doing things in my sick little world, where apparently everybody who reads it gets turned into a 'kittie' ...or maybe there's a cat or two hanging around. *wink wink* LOL
> 
> Right, this is where it stops for now, kitties!
> 
> The next chapter is an update note, if you've been reading along as I write, just for contanuity you should read that note. If you are just joining us (as of 6/22/2014) then nothings been changed behind your back, don't worry. The chapter after that is a random ramble, partly debating how young Zack is, and also going on about inane things that don't matter. Read if you want, or don't. It doesn't matter really.
> 
> The last chapter is random story notes, story fragments, and story spoilers! It's a total mess and will give you ideas about what's going to happen, before that part of the story is fully written yet. I advise you don't read it. Unless you are really interested in my creative process for some reason. Whatever, the choice is yours, but read at your own risk.


	12. Status Update 3:03 AM, 6/22/2014

\----This is just an update note as of 6/22, will be more actual content of story later, but you should read this---

Today I am updating to tell you that I have gone over all the old chapters and done some tweaking and cleaning up.  Mostly just fixing a few grammatical errors and typos that snuck past my previous look-overs.  Added a few teeny tiny things and reworked a few sentences that seemed wonky.  Also got rid of or at least edited old notes that were obsolete, and could cause possible confusion.  You don’t have to go back and re-read the whole damn thing, unless you really want to, nothing major has changed, you probably wouldn’t even notice anything.  One slight thing I added was a little bit about what Tempy is thinking when she tells Zack sorry for going too fast, but that’s not majorly important to the plot.

Only thing you _should_ know, is back in the description of her room, I added an alarm clock to her bedside table.  A seemingly insignificant detail that I overlooked, and then remembered I would need it later.  Just because later in the story there will be a brief mention of an alarm clock, and since I detailed her room so much, I don’t want it to seem like ‘Huh?  Where the heck did that come from?’  You don’t need to go back and read it, nothing else about her room has changed, just for later, know that it’s established that there is an alarm clock there.  No big deal.

Also, put in that the bedspread is dark blue.  Whoopty-fucking-do, who cares, right?  But when going over the room description again, I remembered that I had meant to mention something more about what the bed looked like, something about how it was cool because it didn’t have stupid girly ugly flowers on it or something, but I couldn’t think of what it should look like, so I forgot about it.  But now thinking, well duh it’s a sex story, the bed is a important part of the backdrop, it should at least have a color, I bothered to tell you what color the walls and shit were, leaving the bed vague seems, ya know, off.  And I realized in my mind’s eye when I saw them there, without thinking about it I had made it a really dark, almost navy blue.  So fine the blanket on her bed is blue.  No deep meaning or anything to that, just blah, there it is.

Please excuse the mess, I’m not used to posting works in progress.  And honestly, I don’t usually write things that are this long either!

I’m also trying to fix the problem I have of switching tenses, that’s a lame, newbie writers mistake, it’s sloppy and embarrassing, bare with me while I try to fix it.  Also getting rid of old internal notes that got left in, I’m sure you’d much rather not have to deal with those in the way.  (By internal notes I mean my random thoughts jotted down in the middle of the story text)

Chapter 11 is still a disastrous mess, but I’ll fix that as soon as I can and continue on with the fun stuff.

I gotta go write something down about my NCIS fic that I started quite a while ago and didn’t get very far with.  I just got a glimmer of something and I have to get it down before I loose it.  Do you like NCIS?  If you’re hear because you like Bones, I thought some of you might like NCIS too, if so, there will be NCIS smut from me in the future.  Come back any time and visit, I got lots of different stuff in the works.  ;)  That’s why it’s taken me so long to do this simple clean up update.  Sorry!!  I’ve been writing like crazy the past three or four days, but bits and pieces for later in the story, plus stuff for other stories that aren’t ready to be posted yet.  My imagination is all over the place.  But, I’ll get back to _this_ story and finish it up as soon as I can.

Sorry it’s taking longer than expected.  But I’ll try to make it worth the wait.  ;)

You kitties want more smut don’t you?  Yes!  Good kitties who wait patiently will get lots of yummy smut!!! ;)

(^ Oy, I think I was on something when I wrote that last bit there ^)


	13. And Now For Something Completely Different

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a ridiculously random ramble, but you should at least read the first two paragraphs.

I’m starting to think I made Zack too young, it’s taking it a little too far.  But I needed him so completely naive and I couldn’t imagine that a 16 or even 15 year old would be so completely clueless about sex.  (I was a "late bloomer," extremely shy and felt uncomfortable when I first started feeling attracted to boys, but even I was looking at porn and masturbating at age 16)  But perhaps I’ll reconsider this.  Make him 15 at least.  I want it to be stat rape and have iffy moral issues, but I DON’T want it to feel like child abuse.  That’s WAY too far.  I don’t want to go there, but I’m afraid anyone who reads this will get badly squicked and think that’s what I’m doing here.

Not that making him 16 would make it okay, I still want it to not be okay.  This is fiction, one of the many great things about writing is you can explore things you would never do in real life, no one real gets hurt no matter how awful you make it.  But I just want people to enjoy this story and not think it’s _too_ sick, just a little bit sick.  Oy, I didn’t really want to get into all this, it’s just a story, don’t take it seriously.  But, really, should I make him just a little older????  Any thoughts?

Since I needed a break from the intensity of my own imagination (Yeah, I’m surprised by that side effect of my creativity) I was just watching TV, I started with Castle (random fact: Beckett/Castle is the only cannon relationship in ANYTHING that I’ve read smut about, thus far, but that was because the fic was non-con, I couldn’t resist!) but then I couldn’t help my self and watched some reruns of Bones I happened to have on my DVR, for the express purpose of drooling over Zack.  Spending so much time working on this story is making me obsess even more over him.  I happened to get to the episode Judas on a Pole.  My enjoyment of Tempy’s angst over her father was completely overshadowed by the dismaying thought ‘Nooooo don’t make Zack cut his hair!’  because I knew that was coming.  I’m so crazy about his hair it’s ridiculous.  But despite that his insecurity and social cluelesness is so adorable in this episode.  WHY am I so attracted by that?  It is simply because I identify with it?  It seems deeper than that.  If it’s just because I know how that feels why does it turn me on?  It’s horribly unpleasant to be in that situation.  Enjoying seeing someone suffer that way seems completely counter intuitive.  Maybe it’s similar in context to the cycle of abuse, just not quite so malevolent.  (ya know, the abused becomes the abuser, because they want control over what happened to them)  I like the fantasy that _I_ could be the one with more confidence and take someone under my wing.  Although it’s not all just benevolent, I freely admit I’m a little sadistic.

I’m comfortable with my “dark side” everyone has one, or so I‘ve been told.  I enjoy using fiction to safely explore it.

That episode is great because I love angst.  I find it interesting that my reaction to seeing a female in emotional distress is different than how I feel seeing a male that way.  Although both are enjoyable and arousing.  My response to an angsty girl is ‘awww’ I wanna comfort her and make her feel better, all warm and fuzzy.  But, I like to watch a guy suffer sadistically.  Although there are undertones of warm and fuzzy, and vice versa, undertones of sadism when I’m warm and fuzzy about a girl.  Does that make sense?  I’m over analyzing myself, oy.

Temperance is so hot when her insecurities show, she’s hot when she’s confident too.  I know I said in an earlier ramble that I like girls with short hair.  But I can’t see Tempy with short hair, she’s beautiful the way she is.  Otherwise I would have changed her hair style in my AU, but I wouldn’t change her for the world.

Random complaint:  I’m getting tired of typing Temperance over and over.  It sounds beautiful, but why does her name have to be so damn long?  LOL  I seriously considered having Zack call her Tempy, but it just didn’t feel right for some reason, they’re not that easy with each other yet.  Only her brother calls her Tempy, and he’s out of the picture at this point.  I call her Tempy in my notes just so I can get my thoughts down fast.

Speaking of names, I love the name Zack so much.  I bet it probably has to do with the fact that my very first crush on a real person, his name was Zack.  OMG I have never admitted that to anyone!  But since you don’t know who I am IRL and you don’t know who that Zack was, I guess it’s okay.  He was a grade below me, but since it was a small school some classes had the two grades together.  I guess I’ve always had a thing for younger guys.  It’s too bad that never came to anything.  I was way too shy and he had a girlfriend.  :( Boy did I hate her.  :P  (She wasn’t a bad person, she just had what I wanted.)  He was nothing like our sweet Zackaroni though.  He was such a bad boy trouble maker.  And sometimes he was really an ass.  What was it that made me like him anyway?  I think it was the red hair.  LOL  Plus he was so playful and flippant.  Who doesn’t like a bad boy?  I wish I could go back in time. . .

Anyway, it’s not like I actually think about that guy from long ago every time I hear or see the name Zack, but it’s too much of a coincidence that I like that name a lot, it must be something deep in my subconscious.  The only male name I like even better is Chase.  I have no explanation for that, it’s just COOL!  Ooooh something just popped in my head.  Wouldn’t it be fun to write a House-Bones crossover with Chase/Zack?  I don’t know how that would work, but it would be adorable and hot.  Even though Chase is his last name, and I like it better as a first name, doesn’t matter because he’s always referred to as Chase. 

Everyone in that show, pretty much, are always referred to by their last names.  Except Thirteen.  You hardly ever hear her called Remy or Hadley, she’s always Thirteen!  I love that.  I love everything about her.  Why haven’t I looked up some smut involving her yet?  (probably because I worry about spoilers, STILL haven’t seen the last few seasons of House)  The great thing about her is it’s cannon that she’s bi.  I prefer bi over any other orientation, just personally I think it’s the most fun.  :D  Unless the plot demands otherwise, I almost always write with the assumption that the characters I’m using are bi in my reality.  That issue isn’t touched on in THIS story, but it may be if I write a sequel.  Too early to think about that yet.

Sorry I’m getting way off topic.  I shut up now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you've been here before, you know the drill. If your new to my sick little world, don't read the last chapter, unless you want incoherent spoilers and notes and old bits that have already been updated and what not.
> 
> Okay? Move past this chapter at your own risk! Until this note is gone and more chapters are added.


	14. floating chapter until all is sorted out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is where everything else gets dumped for now. Wanna see how it started? And how it's going ahead of time? There you go, my brain dissected and laid open for all to see. It feels weeeeird.

_**Warning!  Warning!**_   I case you missed all the _other_ notes warning you not to go here.  This will make so sense!  And contain spoilers for what's coming up in this very story you are reading!  Proceed at your own peril.  'cuz seriously, it's so disjointed you might loose your mind trying to read it.  It's okay though, I lost my mind long time ago.  And I'm fine, see?  *gives you a crazed  look*

 

[One more thing before we get started.  Please bare with the rampant spelling errors, typos, and other grammatical mishaps while this thing is still work in progress status.  Since I'm posting as I go I don't always finish spell-check and re-read before I post, and even when I do I often miss things on the second or third pass.  When I'm writing something that turns me on, it's even harder to notice things like I typed "it" twice in a row or other stupid things like that.  It takes a few re-drafts for me to work out all the kinks.  And I'm a horrible speller!  Now, finally, _on with the show!_ ]

 

[Oh damn!!! this is added 6/18 damnit damnit!  I remembered _long **after**_ I finished the whole beginning, that in there while he was crushing on her I was gonna put in something about her jewelry.  that he stared at her so much he had memorized every piece she wore, because he has a photographic memory and all, and she wears all that really cool, big clunky jewelry that I like.  But adding it in now would be a pain in the ass, plus people have already read the beginning.  Also, adding in her taking off jewelry while they're undressing and all that hot stuff would be awkward and a pain.  BUT if you can think about how to do it, when you're not so tired like right now, maybe it could make those beginning chapters that are so short at least a tiny bit longer?  I dunno. . . . Blah!] 

 

It was happening all in a rush.  The heat and awkward but urgent need of first experience.  He was pushing her up against a wall, and he NEVER thought he’d do that to a girl, but she let herself be pushed there.  His mouth was pressed to hers and he could feel more than hear her breathing.  He raked his hands through her hair and it wasn’t like in the movies because his fingers got tangled and stuck there.  Damnit!  He was not being smooth, he didn’t know how to be smooth.  But oh god those where her _boobs_ pressing against his own chest.  Well really not his chest, closer to his collar bones because she was so much taller than him.  He had to stretch on his tip toes to reach her, and even though she was the one against the wall she was leaning forward and down to meet his lips.  But back to the important point, he was actually feeling boobies against him.  He wanted to see if she’d let him touch those mysteriously alluring swells of flesh with his hands, but they were still stuck in her hair.  He pulled his hands away quickly, and they snagged, oops, it was too quickly because she let out a muffled “Ouch!” against his lips.  Oh crap.  He didn’t mean to be rough, he’d never want to be rough, but in his eagerness he didn’t know how to be gentle.    
  
Mortified at himself for making her say ouch he forgot how good he was feeling and backed away from her.  His eyes fell to the floor like dead weight and he felt his face get hot.  He knew he must be blushing and he hated for her to see him do that, but you couldn’t stop that from happening once it started.  Just like he couldn’t stop what had happened to his. . . Oh no way she’s gonna see that! So he quickly clasped his hands together in front of his crotch in an attempt to hide it.  It never occurred to him that this was completely unnecessary given that they had been making out two seconds ago.  And that surely she’d seen such a thing before, that never crossed his mind.  
  
“I’m sorry.  I’m so sorry.” He was muttering over and over.  “I didn’t mean to--”  
  
“Shut up Zack.”  She broke him off.  And something unusual in the sound of her voice that he didn’t understand was desire made him snap his eyes back up to her.  
  
He had just enough time to register that her cheeks were flush too, -- although it somehow didn’t seem like it was from embarrassment -- before _she_ was pushing _him_ back against the other wall of the narrow hallway.  
  
“Miss Bren--” Was all he got out before her lips pressed against his and the rest of her name was lost in a meaningless “Hmmim!” sound.  He felt something wet against his lips and his body seemed to know more than his brain did because he didn’t decide to open his lips but they just did and then he knew it was her tongue.  Oh wow was this really happening her tongue was in his mouth!  He tentatively met her tongue with his, they were sliding and slick and it felt so good he forgot for a while he had hands to touch her with.  They fluttered at his side, unable to receive commands from his over heated brain.  
  
He had previously assumed based on what he saw on TV that people were supposed to close their eyes when they kissed, but his were currently wide open in wonderment.  Miss Brennan’s eyes were open too, starring right into his, so close to his it was dizzying.  Her gaze was somehow hot and seemed to burn into him.  The look was too intense so he broke it by shifting his focus off to the side.  With her head bent down to his, her hair fell down, draping the sides of his head.  Her hair was so shinny rusty-brown, not dull and mousey-brown like his.  
  
Her accursedly wonderful hair.  This had all started because Miss Temperance Brennan had on some whim decided to wear her hair down today. . .  
  
[flash back to earlier that day or some shit, back story on time and place.  A university somewhere.  Brennan is an advanced student-teacher of some kind, those exist right?  What are they called?  Zack has skipped ahead to collage early because of his intelligence, and they know each other because he is in some class she is teaching.  Boring stuff, but it needs to be worked out.  Yeah, that whole part about her hair, that came to me when I just started typing to figure out how to start the story, worked out, huh?]  
  
[Important to know, Temperance is early twenties?  Maybe slightly younger?  Find out what age would make sense at her collage level, that’s less important then how young Zack is.  Zack is very young teen, 13, 14 at the most, I think 15, no, I think that‘s pushing it even a socially awkward kid wouldn‘t be so neive at 15.  Pin down their ages and make that known in the intro part somehow, backstory section]  
  
[5/26, 6PM - Another note for later:  Full name Zachary Uriah Addy.  Use that much later, make him go nuts  
Speaking of being nuts: hahaha!  I remembered it was Uriah!  I got it right! Looked it up on the interweb machine!]  
[6/18, 8AM Way back then ^ I never knew how long this story would get!  I still haven't decided when I'm gonna have her use his full name.  _Maybe_ right when they're finally about to actually go all the way, she says that to get his attention to be sure he consents.  _Or maybe_ to snap him out of hysterics when he won't say dick/cock/penis/whatever _or_ when she's about to cum and take the cock ring off _or_ when she actually does, she could scream it.  _No_ , that sounds lame, people don't scream out full names during sex.  But one of the other ideas might work.  Mull it over.  You still got a shit load to write before you get there.  
  
  
[This is about where he is in his sexual awareness, he likes girls, spends most time on his computer but hasn’t looked at porn, something about always the wrong time to think about masturbating. . . This was all clear in my head a minute ago. . Where did it go?]

[oh and obviously before this started he had a crush on Tempy, I'm remembering now I was gonna say something like he was aware of it only in the back of his mind or something like that.  But does that info go in here or earlier in backstory? Figure it out.]  
  
…like many hightly intelligent people, Zack’s proficiency for understanding easily what others found complex, often left him feeling deficient in other areas, like social interaction, which most normal people seemed to grasp innately, without needing to be taught it.  _Average_ , he reminded himself, not normal.  Stistically, the corrent word for “most people” was average.  _Normal was just a setting on the dryer._   That’s what his mother had said to him as a child, every time he came home crying, from being teases by other children because he was “not normal” …  
[something more goes here, the above added 5/26]  
He thought about science or math instead.  He didn’t know why most kids thought math was hard, for him it was so much easier to understand than his own biology.  
  
[Oh oh oh! Put this in while they’re making out in the hallway:  The first time Tempy presses against his erection: he inhales like a drowning boy.  Good line!]  
  
[5/26 - Blahh blah stuff happens here.  We get back to the present somehow]  
  
And that led to his present situation, pinned to the wall of the annoyingly narrow and stuffy hallway leading to the library, a previously functional but largely unnoticed part of his world that had suddenly turned into heaven.  The air was thick and still, smelling of dusty old paper and ageing lether bindings.  None of that mattered.  As their kiss deepened Brennan moved her body more fully against Addy’s.  He heard her feet shuffle, he was tangenterally aware that one of her feet was now between his, the other on the outside of his left foot. But then holy shit! Her upper thigh was now pressed against his hard-on.  He broke the kiss and gasped for air like a drowning boy.  His eyes rolled up to stare through the bland ceiling, so he didn’t see Temperance Brennan’s smile.  It was just as well, he might have found it creepy if he had seen it.  
  
“Do you like that?”  She said slyly.  
  
“What do you think!?” He said in a cracking falsetto that he had meant to sound bold and cocky, but sounded manic and frantic to his own ears.  When his eyes met hers again he looked almost mad, both meanings of the word.  
  
No, she realized, that wasn’t anger she was seeing, but defiance, trying to cover up insecurity.  And that wild lunacy around the edges was normal.  He was over-producing hormones and he wasn’t sure what to do about it, yet.  She could help him with that.  Adolescent behavior was hard to predict, but she though she could manage this one.  
  
Zack didn’t know what to do now that he had said something so stupid, so he froze in place.  If he was so damn smart why did he always get it wrong when it came to people?  He chastised himself.  But Miss Brennan seemed unfazed.  She kept that incredible pressure where it was, closed in and kissed him again.  This time, he thought, he wanted to see how far into her mouth he could get his tongue, but she didn’t give him a chance.  It was a quick kiss.    
  
But before he had a chance to become dismayed by that, she had moved her lips in a searing hot line down his jaw line to his neck.  He never before knew his neck could be so sensitive.  Those little caresses of her lips were driving him crazy.  He didn’t know where this was going, but no way did he want it to stop.  But he felt weird just standing there, doing nothing but breathing with increasing irregularity.  What should he do?    
  
“Miss Bren-oh!  Uh, Mi… Miss Brennan…Mmm! I-- Oh wow, Huh!  Miss Breah-- What. . What should…mmmmm”    
  
This was ridiculous.  Not only was he stammering, he had to keep interrupting his attempts at coherent speech with these involuntary sounds caused by whatever the heck the incredible things were she was doing to his neck.  At different moments he thought he felt lips, then tongue, teeth, and. . . warm air?  Oh breath!  Apparently just breathing against his skin that had just been kissed or licked could make him shiver and loose the ability to speak.  _How_ did she _do_ that?  He wanted badly to be able to do something to her in return.  In stead of asking what he should do, he decided to just wing it.  But he was never any good at winging anything, he was sure he was gonna screw up.  But what would she think of him if he just stood there like a dope?  He lifted his arms from his sides.  He kinda jerked them around in the air awkwardly.  Hesitantly moving back towards her body in fits and starts, not sure exactly where to put his hands.    
  
Then suddenly Brennan _bit_ him on the neck. He let out a squeal he didn’t know he was capable of making, and his arms reflexively wrapped tight around her back in sort of a haphazard way.  At the same time he bucked his hips, once, sharply into her leg.  There was no room for him to move between her and the wall, but the force of his sudden jerk pushed them both away from the wall at the hips for a few seconds.  
  
Brennan Lifted her head slightly.  She realized she had gotten carried away and moved too fast.  But he made the cutest noises and tasted so good.  “I’m sorry, did that hurt?” She asked.  
  
Zack stammered, he didn’t quite know why he felt the need to breath so heavily.  Like he was doing exercise or something, but obviously he wasn’t, he was just leaning against a wall for god sake.  For all his knowledge, he didn’t know enough about sexual biology to realize what was happening inside his body really was strenuous work.  “Yes. . . I mean . . . No, no yeah, it did. . . I mean yes it did. . . Hurt . . . But no-yes-it-hurt-felt-good.”  That made no sense!  
  
But somehow Miss Brennan didn’t seem at all confused by his nonsense.  She just smiled and said “Glad you liked it, but I’ll try to go slower for now, okay?”  
  
He started to say okay as an automatic response of agreement to someone he precived as in authority, but his brain shorted out when he realized what else had happened when she bit him.  Oh _eww_ had he just humped her leg like a dog?  _Ohhhh grooosss!_   He felt himself go red in the face again.  He muttered. “I’m really sorry I-I…I uh…” he nodded his head downward, hoping she would understand, no way in hell could he say humped like a dog out loud to her.  
  
Brennan put her hand gently under his chin and lifted his head to get him to look at her again.  This was an important lessen.  She tried to put aside her physical needs to be able to explain this to him well.  
  
Her gaze was intense, but oddly gentle, Zack thought it was like she was trying to sympathize, but not pity.  She didn’t seem grossed out at all.  There was something else in her eyes that he couldn’t quite read, he wasn’t good at reading people to begin with, and he had never seen anyone look at him like that before.  It kinda seemed like it might be something good, though?  It would take him some time before he understood that look meant she was turned on.  
  
“Listen to me Zachary.”  Her voice was soft but emphatic.  He automatically gave his undivided obedient attention when his long form name was used, which was not often.  So it had the desired effect of cutting through the haze of his mix of arousal and embarrassment.  “Don’t be sorry for that.  It’s perfectly normal.”  
  
“Normal is a se--” He started to recite automatically.  
  
She knew roughly where he was going with that, so she nodded and corrected herself without needing to let him finish.  “I mean it’s natural.  It’s exactly what your body is supposed to do in this situation.  You know it instinctually, even if you are not consously aware of why you do it yet, understand?”  
  
He nodded slowly, trying to process the information.  Then he said with the innocent exuberance of youth, “Can I do it again?”  
  
Miss Brennan laughed softly.  Since she was still pressed against him he felt her whole body heave and shake against him.  It felt incredible, but at the same time it hurt so bad to be laughed at.  His emotions continued their sickening rollercoaster ride, down again.  “Please don’t laugh at me.”  
  
She heard the sharp pain in his voice,  and touched his hot cheek with the palm of her hand to sooth him.  “Oh Zack no, I wasn’t laughing meanly.  It was a good laugh.”  She struggled for the right words.  She felt that unpleasant social awkwardness now too, she thought she had learned to get over it.  She tried to get it to go away for both of them.  “I’m not laughing _at_ you.  I laughed because . . . I’m having fun, and I think you’re cute.”  
  
He felt a blush that seems to go all the way from the top of his head down to his toes.  “yermm umm mmh rlmmmy thin um cute?”  That was supposed to be _You really think I’m cute?_ But he couldn’t get it out right.  
  
“You have exquisitely pleasant facial features, very nice sematry, very enticing hair, and a very well defined light build.”  She noticed this was not making him feel better, he looked more uncomfortable.  She realized she was being too. . . Something.  She tried again.  “I think you’re really cute.”  she tried letting her intense physical want for this boy to seep through her voice as much as possible.  
  
He heard something in that last thing she said that he didn’t quite know what to make of, but it made him feel hot again, only this time the heat felt good.  He searched her face, trying to decifer if she was teasing or telling the truth, he thought she might be, or maybe that’s just what he wished he saw?  
  
Brennan decided an actual demonstration would be a better way to finish teaching this lesson than a lechture.  She pushed her upper body and leg against him harder, then eased back a bit, then did it again.  She let her own excitement at the feel of an errect penis show fully.  She let herself breath a little heavier, and let a soft monosylable “mmmm” excape her, close to his ear.  
  
His autonomic responses took control of him, and he pushed his hips forward, at first he was way out of sync with her and there were awkward moments when the pressure went away, which he felt as a dismaying ache, and times when it was too intense and kind of hurt, both his dick pushed too hard against her leg and his ass squished to hard against the wall.  But that didn’t matter because when it was good it was so good.  Her heavy breathing sounded good to him too, he didn’t question why.  His hands moved all over up and down her back, they had no grace or skill.  She didn’t mind, she arched into his touch.  She especially liked it when his hand ran over her shoulder blades.  But the touch was too fleeting because he wanted to go everywhere at once.  She would have to teach him about that particular quirk of hers.  Later.  That was a couple of lessons ahead.  Even the best students needed to start with basics.  
  
“See?  I like it too.”  She whispered in his ear.  He shivered when her breath tickled inside the cup of his ear, that was good too.  On some level he registered the meaning of what she said.  But mostly his mind was a simple repetitive litany of oh wow my boner is touching a girl god my boner is touching a girl a girl no touching _Miss Brennan!_ Oh wow it felt so. . . He was touching . . His bone. . .more. . . More. . . More . . . _More_!  
  
He hadn’t realized he had said that last more out loud, until she suddenly stopped, took a step back and broke all contact, leaving him trembling with need.  Oh no!  Was it wrong that he said that?  
  
What had made her stop was not what he said, she had reveled intensly at making him call out.  But she had noticed his rythem pick up to a fevered pitch.  She realized it would be over before they really got going if she didn’t put on the breaks.  He was incapable of stopping himself on his own.  She knew her abrupt departure had hurt and confused him, and she was sorry for that, but it had to be done.  This was going to be the hardest lesson for him to learn, she thought.  Maybe she was wrong to make him learn it so soon, but this was what she wanted.  She knew she could control him, and that was too enticing for her to resist, no matter what the rational part of her mind knew.  She had started down this path, and she was resolutely not going to look back.  
  
He couldn’t say anything, he just looked at her, treabling and hurt.  
  
She put a hand on his shoulder.  “Steady, Zack.  It’s okay, you just need to slow down.”  She tried to sound as reassuring as she could.  
  
Even that simple touch on his shoulder burned him and make him ache for more.  He tried to obay what she said.  He took in several shaky, deep breaths.  He licked his dry lips.  That did no good, his whole mouth had gone dry.  “Oh” he croaked out in a dry voice that didn’t sound like his own.  “This is where we stop.”  he tried not to sound so disappointed, but he failed.  He should be happy with what he got.  He got to make out with the hottest teacher ever in the whole world ever.  But he couldn’t help that his body still wanted something more.  
  
“No, we’re not stopping we’re just getting started.”  That hot and thick something was still in her voice, but he didn’t believe her.  
  
^ All that above has already been sorted by the sorting hat and is in it's proper place.  But see how rough it was before?  Now look down.  Careful you'll get dizzy!  I told you it's a real mess, total fuckarow.  
  
 **Just so you know** (like anyone's actually reading this, bah!)  **My original fantasy was not teacher/student, literally.**   It was just older experienced girl with young totally virgin boy, and power over him.  But I had to give it framework to turn it into an actual work of fiction that someone else might want to read.  So I decided Tempy would be Zack's teacher.  Everything else just started to grow on that frame, like moss or someshit.  
{Deleted the little ramble about my insecurities that no one was reading this story, because it was lame, and mostly, because I got some kudos and TWO PEOPLE COMMENTED!!! :D I couldn't be more happy!!! At least a couple of people like what I wrote!!! I couldn't ask for more than that!!!!!! SQUEEEE!!!!!!! --6/18}

  
  
\---put this?  That was the last thing she would give him, free of charge.  [Now here we have to get from the hall to her room, somehow]  <\---That was when she let him feel her up in the hall, before they moved on to her room, clarification added 6/18  ("free of charge" meaning, without making him say whatever word he has an inhibition about saying to her.)  
^ This might be called “The Good Touch”  
  
They forgot all about their responsibilities for the day.  The rest of today’s curriculum had been canceled in favor of this new line of study.  
  
 Today was Zack’s biology crash course.  
  
 _Chapter ideas_ -

The Good Touch (“as apposed to Bloodhound Gang’s Bad Touch”  let Zack touch her breast first time, in hallway, then use this chapter to get them to the room, after this, under rug swept would happen, I don’t know, the section may be to short to break up like that, have to see how it goes) (added later: actually, his feel up got it's own chapter "The Good Touch", "Under Rug Swept" was getting them to the room, and Tempy really deciding she's gonna do this, which fits the theme of under rug swept much better.)

The Cool Down (talking to Zack so the erection can go away and the cock ring be put on before they start over. (added 6/18: actually that became two chapters, didn't use the name cool down, got more creative)

Trust Fall (When Tempy askes does he trust her, he says yes as easy as falling off a unseen step, a play on those silly exercises where you fall back into someone's arms.  I had the idea for that line of falling off a step while staring blankly into the fridge, couldn't find anything to eat, the title trust fall came much later) (added 6/18: wow, "trust fall" actually ended up with a wider scope and a metaphor for more than one thing, cool!)

(I forgot when this was added:--- Maybe this comes right after the cool down, before it gets started up again, do we have room in between that and Hardest to fall for. . Cat Smells Like or something?  Uhhh I was gonna make a note of something then I forgot! shit!! I spent too long starting the Zooey fic.   
  
Oh!  I know what I was thinking, calling The Cool Down - Trust Fall instead.  And maybe in between Head Over Heals and Trust Fall is Rapture)  
  
Yes!  Rapture  
 _Note_ : Did you know that the word ‘rapt’ (as in rapture) has it’s roots in the word ‘rape’ which in ancient times simply meant "to seize, carry off."  And at that time rapt was the past participle of rape.  Think about that as it relates to this story.  
  
 _Summery_ : He’s getting carried off, or maybe they both are.

The Hardest to Fall (yeah, that's gonna be a dark one, although using the word fall twice, I don‘t know about that, will see)(added 6/18: If there are several chapters in between trust fall and hardest to fall it might work, or I have some other ideas I might use instead of this one)

Her Cat Smells Like Teen Spirit (Note: ‘I spliced two songs together, do you know what they are?’ Eh, sounded cool in my head a minute ago,--now I'm not sure if I like it-- thinking about how I prefer my genitals to be called “Cat” rather than “Pussy” {cuz _pussy_ sounds gross but _cat_ has a nice hard sound, like _cock_ , or _fuck_ } and I didn’t want to put “strawberry kittens” for some reason, so I thought mixing two songs together might be cool. -- Maybe will work if I combine these two elements: Tempy tells him to call it cat instead of pussy, and he smells her skin smells like lavender soap) [added 6/18 damnit I couldn't fit those in one chapter!  I wrote too much _slow smut_   Unless I bring up smell again?]

Under Rug Swept (Very blatant ref to Alanis Morissette - Maybe say in notes:  I like the subtly of this reference better than “Coo-co-ka-cho Misses Roberson” I’m not saying this is okay in real life, kitties.  Some things that are gonna happen latter are def. not okay.  I’m not trying to justify this, I’m just exploring the murky issue of consent, and just following what I really think the characters would be feeling/thinking and remember this is a fantasy kiddos, doesn‘t have to be okay in the real word, one of the many great things about writing _fiction_.  It doesn’t have to be “okay”  You don’t even have to answer that question, leave it open to interpretation.  - Perhaps this is after his eyes are darting about the room, to get his focus by saying his full name, and get his actual consent  [[Even if the law and the rest of the world would never understand, or condone it, she needed this for herself, so she would be able to sleep at night, live with herself, look herself in the mirror, ya know, pick your poison. )  
  
Head over Heals in Hero Worship (some Alliteration with the letter H, I don’t know where this title would fit, but if some point I discuss [[Zack Addy didn’t know the term hero worship, or how dangerous it could become, but he was falling in it, head over heals.]])  
  
Beautiful Oblivion (Only if I need it, like the chapter seems to long and I need to break it up, or it doesn’t fit under the heading of whatever chapter is before.  If needed, it’s obvious where this one will go [Note: I just can‘t stop messing with song references)

Pinkie Swear (not sure if that section needs to be in it's own chapter, will see.  But I like the idea of using that as a title, its cute!)

Total Surrender  _or just_ Surrender (I just love the way this sounds, maybe use instead of The Hardest to Fall?  Or right after it?)

The last chapter I'm thinking of calling A Price to Pay oh wait, didn't I have a different idea?  Can't remember it now.  (later) Yes now I remember it, not gonna post it though, keep it a secret.  But MAYBE I can make those two separate chapters, although they'd be short, who cares?

6/18 - I'm having a bit of a debate about what to call the chapter after Trust Fall, the part where things start to heat up again, but slowly:  
[Okay, so we’re gonna call the NEXT chapter “Her Cat Smells Like Teen Spirit”  instead of this one.  The one above will be “Control”  Or maybe “Push the Limits”  that’s a good song, damn good song.  Maybe “The Principles of Lust” Cuz I had her say “do what you want” and that’s in that song and I keep hearing it in my head every time I read that line, although it was not intentional.  Apparently I’m being heavily influenced by Enigma at this point.  
  
Anyway figure out where the chapter break should be.  And remember when they’re talking and he gets to touch her pussy, she makes him call it cat instead, tie in her smell, and lavender, again somehow, so the chapter title makes sense, to me anyway, dunno if anyone else will get it.

After that is pinkie swear, although I don't know if that's long enough to split into a chapter. 

Oy, chapter lengths are becoming a problem because some are really short and now some are really LONG it just feels like they should be just a little bit more roughly equal sizes, but they are not.  Also I'm confused at this point about the chunk that goes between the part I just wrote, and the part where he fingers her.  I know the tickling bit goes there, what else, and how do I string it together?]  
  
[Also remember you need to go back and put an alarm clock on her table.  So that later it’s not ‘huh?  Where the hell did that come from?’  Ah, the complications of posting a WIP.]  
Yeah, I totally know why there needs to be an alarm clock, but I'm not telling you why yet, even if your peeking ahead to see my notes and spoilers, I'm keeping a few surprises all to myself until the end! :P  
  
  
  
  
[in the room: it was nice and blah blah. Which made sense Because of her advanced level.  So much nicer than his, because of seniority and the perks that came with the extra responsibility of student-teacher status  
  
“Um, Miss Brennan. . . Uh, what are we. . .are. . . we. . .gonna?” He was looking around the room like a startled owl.  Or like he had never seen a bedroom ever in his life, not just this specific room, but like the concept of such a place was completely alien to him.  
  
“Call me Temperance.”  There was something stuck between authority and pleading in her voice.  
  
“That’s a pretty name.”  He didn’t say this in an attempt to be charming, he didn’t know how to be charming.  He just stated what he saw as an obvious fact.  
  
It still had the effect of making her smile, perhaps even more so than it would have coming from anyone else, since she knew he had no guile.  “Thank you.”  
  
But he still wasn’t looking at her.  His eyes were darting about the room, now like a scared mouse that couldn’t find a hole to crawl into.  
  
  
\-----"Cool Down" discombobulation (well, not really dis, the opposite-----  
(blah, I wish I had dates and time stamps on everything, it would be amusing to see the different times things were added, because it was so all over the place! but, this last stuff was posted on 6/18, early morning)  
  
[Note, the conversation after she stops him from cuming and she’s trying to get him soft again, was going to be one chapter called The Cool Down, and Trust Fall was going to happen sometime after that (see my notes on chapter ideas)  But eventually it got split into two chapters, Rapture and Trust Fall.  So that’s why in my notes for that part of the story is referred to as ‘The Cool Down’  
Interestingly, Trust Fall was just supposed to refer to the way Zack simply says "yes" as easy as falling off a step when Tempy asks if he trusts her, but once I actually wrote all that, it seemed to imply more.  They are both "falling" towards a connection to each other, as in, they feel the connection unwillingly, like falling, and also there are hints that they are falling in love, although I tried to keep that subtle and not too overt cuz I don‘t like that.  Cool how that worked out, though.]

[Outline:  
She wants to get his mind off sex, so logically she thinks to bring up sports, she asks him  
But that upsets him.  You remember that part well, you already wrote it down  
He’s insecure and all that stuff, she tries to explain it’s okay  
That leads to her asking what he likes  
He says video games, but he’s a little untrusting of her at that point  
Have her pretend to shoot a gun, she acts goofy like a kid, ya know, like you would  
The talk moves on to movies/tv, they both like sci-fi, remember mention Firefly specifically (there's a list of other sci-fi that it is canon Zack likes on that one site, it's bookmarked)  
They gag over romantic comedies and like action movies instead.  
She likes hot guys in action movies, but doesn’t want to make him insecure by going on about it.  
Maybe she almost does and there’s a little awkward moment.]  
  
[At the beginning of the cool down, Tempy gets up and walks to a small closet.  Zack can’t help stare at her ass when she’s turned away from him.  --maybe say, he has hungry eyes.  _Okay now everybody sing!  “Hungry Eyes! OhohOhoh I got hungry eyeeessss” Dirty Dancing, YUM! <\---- Only nauseating romantic movie I will ever love, it’s an 80’s thing.  :P_ \-- Until the view is taken away from him as she slides on a light aqua colored silky robe.  He wines petulantly.  She turns around when she hears the noise, still tying the ribbon-belt in a not at her waist.  “You‘ll see it all again soon.”  She said half reassuring him and half teasting.  Sexual teasing, not the mean kind, that was not allowed in this room.  As she walked back toward the bed he had an adorable pout on his face that she was just dying to kiss.]  
  
Oh fuck more cool down bits:  to get the cock ring on him without his notice:    
“Zack, count the points on my fractal poster.”  
  
Zack looks at the poster says “Why?  That’s not really possible because a fractal has infinite points.:  
  
Slip the ring on, she’s surprised that worked  
  
Maybe he says what the hell?  
  
Then he flicks it and it spins, sort of.  
[dude I just thought of using the fractal poster that way, LONG after I'd put it in her room]

  
  
….let out a strangled cry that was soul-wrenching (when she stops so he won’t cum too soon) <\----that goes somewhere else.

[(added at some point I think on 6/6 - Actually, now, I don’t know if I want Tempy to reveal she knew about his crush.  It feels awkward somehow.  Not like the on purpose kind of awkward that these characters are, I mean awkward for the story line.  I’m not sure.  But I do want Zack to say fuck at some point.  Because it’s an important part of breaking down taboos.  One of the major themes of the story.  Plus it’s kinda referenced when he de-rails when “he’s said everything else, some of them worse, but this is the hardest because it’s the last blah blah blah.”  So, I need some reason for him to be rattled enough to say fuck.  If not this, then what?  
  
[I don’t know exactly where this goes, but at some point he asked why she’s doing this.  She says she noticed him staring at her many times  
   
The bottom dropped out of the world.  “Oh fuck!”  He then covered his mouth in shame and horror that he had said the F-word out loud to an adult.  
  
“What, you think I never heard that before?”  There was amusement in her voice.  
  
“I.. I-I…”  
  
“You can say whatever you want.  You won’t shock me or make me mad at you.”  
  
“Shit.”  The word just came out, because he felt weird.  
  
“Is that really what you wanna talk about?”  
  
A laugh was forced out of him….He started laughing, considering the lunacy of discussing literal shit.  He was still a boy, and disgusting things couldn’t help but be funny.]

  
  
  
[way ahead] [no, actually this goes BEFORE he says oh fuck, when she asks his fav sport, beginning of cool down]  
He turned his head away.  She knew she had struck the wrong note.  He muttered something unintelligible.  
  
“What was that, Zack?”  The command in her voice made him speak up.  
  
“I don’t like sports.”  
  
“Oh.”  She said so simply.  “That’s okay, I don’t either.”  
  
“But that’s okay for you, you’re a girl, you don’t have to like sports.  Guys are supposed to like sports.”  He sounded defencive and defeated at the same time.  
  
“You’re not supposed to like anything but what you really feel you like, Zack.”  she said in the tone of an adult who knew what she was talking about.  She liked using his name.  It was a very cute name.  Plus she liked the authority it over him it gave her.  He seemed hard wired to respond favorably to hearing it, like a well trained dog.  She was going to teach her new pet some amazingly wonderful tricks.  But first the cool down and building trust.  
  
“But the other boys, back at my old school . . . Before I came here. . .And the guys here are even worse, because they are all older than me, so. . .”  
  
She saw the distress on his face from old wounds, and pretty fresh ones, too.  She needed to get him away from that.  It would certianly get his mind off sex, but it would deflate more than his penis.  His ego, his feelings.  Things she knew all too well herself could be hurt deeply and never heal.  She had no intention of making those wounds deeper, or even picking at the scabs.  At the very least she could push them away for now.  If she was very very lucky, she might be able to make him feel just a tiny bit better.  
  
[Uhhggg!  How did I end up writing so much that is nauseatingly warm and fuzzy?  This was supposed to be kinky and twisted!  Where did all that stuff go?  Please tell me I haven’t lost it!  It’s just…. Temporarily misplaced?  God I hope! I‘m writing this bit as I re-read this before posting.]  
  
“Forget them!  They aren’t here in this room.”  Temperance said with a ferocity Zack knew was not aimed at him, but the ubiquitous them.  
[ever-present isn’t quite what I meant there, but it’s close, ubiquitous is a good word, lets leave it there for now at least]  
She had only stated the obvious, that those who had tormented him weren’t here now, but it somehow made him feel very comfortable and secure to have that pointed out.  No one in the world was here right now but Zack Addy and Temperance Brennan.  They could be the only people in existence, for all it mattered in this moment.  Zack wanted nothing more than that.  
  
[Again with the warm and fuzzy.  *headdesk*  what am I doing?]  
  
But still, a question persisted.  “But don’t girls . . . Ya know, only like guys who are into sports and strong and all that stuff?”  
  
“No they don’t.”  Temperance said shaking her head and smiling.    
  
“Is that really true?” He looked at her suspiciously.  
  
“Well, maybe some girls do, but they are either shallow, or they are very into sports themselves, either way, doesn’t sound like the kind of girl you would want to hang out with, does it?”  
  
“I guess not. . .”  He seemed slightly unconvinced, but she knew she was making slow progress.  She would get there, no matter how long it took.  
  
“I don’t care, at any rate.  I was only trying to think of something to talk about.  What I really want to know is, what do you like, Zack?”  
  
“Do you really care?”  He looked[… something other than suspicious… what word am I looking for?]  
  
  
[I’m confused about the order things are in!]  
  
[But when they talk about movies, gag over romantic comadys and/or chick flicks, talk about action movies, brennan almost talks about hot guys in action movies but doesn’t  
Then on to sci-Fi, tempy mentions Firefly Zack says “It was canceled” with a sigh that either means disinterest or disappointment  <\-- maybe say that?  hes looking at something else, [fractal poster, just cuz fractals = cool.  Maybe there’s even a metaphor in there  somewhere.]  
  
[Yeah, I gotta put a Firefly thing in there, cuz IT WAS ACTUALLY MENTIONED IN THAT ONE EPISODE!  There’s no way I can leave that alone!  *crazy browncoat here!*]  
  
says dismissively cuz he doesn’t think she === or maybe he just says it and move on  
Tempy “I know! Isn’t the most horrible injustice in the world!?  
Zack shocked  
Tempy says it’s much deeper than anybody realized the symolizom of serenity or something I’m talking out of my ass here but  
Zack says no one I ever talked to understands that  -- or something  
They bond over firefly or someshit]  
  
  
(after I'd already got the first part down, moving from sports to video games, I had this note:)  
  
[ugg, I feel stuck.  How do we weave in him saying fuck first, and firefly, and action movies, and romantic comedies are nauseating?]

 

“Yippee ki yay motherfucker!”  She yelled out with great enthusiasm <\----find a dif word  
[Damnit!! I really want to put that in there, but if I do it will ruin when Zack says fuck later. (it's not gratuitous, it's an important plot point that Zack says 'fuck' and feels ashamed.  But dude!  it would be so funny to have Tempy say the Die Hard line that I love, plus, it would shatter his preconceptions of her.  But if he's already heard her say 'motherfucker' why would he be freaked out that he said 'fuck' in front of her?  What a dilemma!!  
^ (added later) The only way to fix this is to have Zack’s ‘fuck’ earlier in the conversation.  
(added even later)  I think I fixed it!! take a break, re-read and see if it works.  
  
  
[where does this go?]  
After SK mentioned.  Zack:  You don’t seem very girly.”  He seemed both surprised and enticed by that idea, but also a little confused.  She defied expectations.  
  
“I think  you have an inaccurate stereotypical idea of what girly means.  I am a girl.”  
  
“But your so cool.”  
  
She smiled at his awkward honesty.  “What, girls aren’t allowed to be cool?”

He stumbled over his social awkwardness.  “No!  I didn’t mean. . . I just. . . I’ve never met. . .uh, crap.”  _I’ve never met someone as amazing as you._   He would have said if he had the social skills to know how to say just the right thing.  As it was that concept was just a deep feeling not formed in words in his mind.  
  
  
[and then more goes here, then somehow we get to ] <\---This is where I was blocked for days, and couldn't stitch the conversation together.  
“Come on, what’s your favorite chick flick?  Romantic comedy?  Huh?”  
  
She rolled her eyes and her head.  “They are nauseating!”  
  
“I don’t believe you!”  He said defiantly.  
  
“If my DVDs weren’t all in storage, I’d prove it to you.”  She challenged.  “You wouldn’t find anything.”  
  
“Seriously you don’t like any lovey mushy shit?”  He narrowed his eyes at her.  
  
She leaned forward, opened her mouth, stuck out her tongue, put a finger partly in her mouth and mock gagged.  “Eeaahhh!”  Even though Temperance was older, she was just barely in her twenties, part of her was still a kid.  It felt natural to let that part all the way out with Zack.  “What’s your take on the genre?”  
  
He mimicked her exaggerated gag, and they both laughed.  Then he said, “Come on!  There has to be something.”  
  
She paused, then, “Dirty Dancing.”  She said as if confessing a shameful secret.  
  
“Hah!” he scoffed with satisfaction that he had found her weakness.  “Never seen it, don’t want to.”  
  
“Then I know exactly what to do to you if you missbehave.”  She joked.  
  
“You don’t have a TV in here!”  He smirked.  
  
“I’ll get one just to torment you.”  She smirked back.  
  
They both fell into an awkward silence at the accedental implication that this was something more than a one time thing.  Nether one of them was ready for that.  Zack felt like his head was spinning.  Temperance felt apprehensive that she might have spooked him, and to be honest, she spooked herself.  
  
“Um.”  Temperance tried to move past it and pretend that unspoken idea wasn’t hanging in the air.  
  
  
[this down there goes ahead of what I’m writing above it, fix it later]  
[this is in the middle of something, Trust me I know where the thread is, even if you’re lost.  I just wanted to get this line down exactly before I forget it.  Hmm, I think I need a better word than ‘lump‘ Later added: Heap!  Of coruse..]  
  
“Come?” Where was he going to come to?  He was already here.  At first he doesn’t get it, but he’s always been a quick study.  “Oh you mean jizz.”  The words fell out of him in all in a heap, dropped like they had actual weight, and he looks down, defeated and feeling inadequate.  
  
“Climax, yes.”  The teacher in her unable to help herself correct his vocabulary, even though that was immaterial at the moment.  She had used the colloquial  term cum before without thinking about it.  She usually let her rational mind go during sex.  But this was a little more complicated.  She was both instructor and woman in lust.

  
[more talk about cum, he said “I’ve never. . . Couple times in my sleep. . . But other than that I don’t know. . . I’ve never. . .” he couldn’t finish any sentence he tried to start.  She seemed to get it though.  
  
“That’s to be expected at your age.”  But she had looked surprised for a split second.  
  
He wondered if it was his admission that he had cum in his sleep, or the fact that he hand never gotten him self off on purpose that surprised her? He didn’t ask, but she answered.  
  
“Some boys your age have already tried it on their own, but not all, maybe not even half.  You’re just fine.”  
  
“Temperance?”  
  
“Yes?”  
  
“I’m scared.”  
  
[this is where she starts to talk about other things to calm him down]  
[Remember: why is he scared? Doesn’t know, cercular logic, or is it cercular reasoning?] --the i'm scared bit has now moved.

[Crap!  I don’t know where this goes--this added at some point, it actually goes AHEAD, not down here:]  
  
“Does that m-mean w-we c-c-can’t. . . .”  His voice broke and he hitched in his breath sharply.  He felt like he was going to cry.  Which was so stupid.  But he was so frustrated by his body’s apparent limitations.  He wanted so bad to do this.  Not only because he was so horny he felt on fire.  But because Miss Brennan clearly wanted him to.  He wanted so badly to do this for her.  To be what she wanted him to be.  He was so god damn sick of always coming up short of what people expected of him in any interaction that wasn’t purely intelecual.  Oh they all marveled at his glorious brain.  But everything else about him seemed broken.  Right now he hated his own mind and wished to trade it in for a more normal life.  Yes, fucking normal.  Platidudes had failed him.  
  
Temperance heard the beginning of what was going to be sobs and she just couldn’t stand it.  She wasn’t supposed to touch him right now but she couldn’t leave him like that.  Nothing she could say would fix this.  
  
She took a calculated risk.  She leaned down and kissed him, hard.  But she was careful not to let their bodies touch anywhere else.  
  
His breath stopped catching in his throat and he threw his arms unabashedly around her neck and pulled tight.  The move was not in any way romantic or sexual.  Just the purely reaching out of a little boy who needed comfort.  
  
When his grip relaxed just a little bit Temperance ended the kiss with a smile for him, and pulled away as slowly and gently as she could.  
  
He didn’t really want to, but he let her go, trying so hard to obey her.  He didn’t feel in danger of tears anymore, but he still felt so vulnerable.  
  
“Zack, yes we can.  I have something that will help you.”  
  
“What?” He asked, curious, but afraid to hope.  
  
“Don’t worry about it yet.”  She told him.  “I can’t give it to you now because you’re still on a hair trigger.”  
  
He didn’t understand at all, and he frowned at her.  
  
“I’m sorry.” Temperance continued.  “It’s my fault for going too fast.  I should have slowed down sooner and this wouldn’t have happened.  I couldn’t help myself, Zack, you’re too damn hot.”  
  
He jerked as if he’d been slapped, and stared at her wide eyed and dumbfounded. He didn’t know what to be more shocked about.  The concept of Miss Brennan not being able to help herself from. . . Him.  Or that she had used the word hot to describe him, or that she’d simply said damn.  
  
She couldn’t help but laugh at his slack jawed stare.  “Yes, Mr. Addy, that’s all true.”  And she swiftly kissed the tip of his nose, but pulled away quickly so as not to get carried away again.  
  
He slumped his head back against the pillow and let out a groan which seemed to express every possible emotion in the world.  


  
[when the cockring goes on:  It metal and unpleasantly cool at first, but it conducts his body heat well, soon becoming the same temparature as the skin it touches, making it less noticeable overall.]  
  
[when they get started again]  
They start off very slow.  Zack doesn’t realize it consciously, but what happened earlier is making him gun shy.  
  
[at some point after they get started again:]  
the very subtle huskiness in Temperance’s voice got more pronounced when she was turned on, Zack was noticing.  He thought there couldn’t be a more beautiful sound in the world.  
^OMG who thinks Temperance Brennan has the most sexy voice ever?  Hahaha!  I can hear it in my head when I'm writing, so hot.  I can actually imagine her voice easier than I can Zack's, is that weird?

**Anyway, everything above this point (except for some of the chapter ideas) has now been sorted by the sorting hat**.  Meaning it's all been written out and posted where it belongs.  Down from here is still bits and pieces that don't make sense yet!!  
  
  
  
  
[We’ve skipped ahead quite a bit here.  All that happened before was in my head at one point, I hope I can get it all back, or most of it, enough to make this story work anyway, filling in bits as pieces as I go]  
[added 6/18- Actually I DID lose a lot of the original smut, didn't know I'd be working on this damn thing SO LONG, and I'm having to re-write it, but it's going okay, I think.  Except this part, he's supposed to be upset that she's laughing, he tickled her accidentally.  But I've already made him comfortable with her laughing, so this doesn't make sense.  Only if I make it somehow that he's uncomfortable because he doesn't think she should laugh while he's trying to be sensual and such, will that make sense?]  
  
He put his finger in her belly button and twisted, she laughed harder.  “If you want me… want me to stop… stop laughing. . .  Stop tickling me!”  She stuttered out between bursts of giggles.  
  
“But I like touching you” he said.  
  
“Touch me somewhere else and see what other noises I’ll make.”  When he looked at her uncertainly, she nodded.  He hesitantly moved his hand from her belly to her side.  She stopped giggling.  She liked the feel of his uncertain boyish hand.  His eyes stared blatantly in child like wonder at what he was allowed to touch.  He moved down her side to her upper thigh.  That seemed to make her breathing a little heavier.  He got a little bolder and moved to her inner thigh.  That got him a little gasp from her, which for some reason sent a bolt of heat through him.  Even more exciting was the part of her anatomy he was getting so close to.  His own breath quickened and his hand started to shake, he tried so hard to steady it.  He felt he should do something more now, what exactly was it?  
  
“Can I touch you. . . .um. . Temp. . . Temperance?”  
  
“You are touching me.”  She didn’t mean that to sound overly harsh, but to him it did.  
  
“I mean, can I? . . . Can I . . I… t-touch your. . . Um. . .”  
  
“Touch me were, Zack?”  
  
He didn’t want to say it.  He was hot and excited and embarrassed all at once.  You just didn‘t say this word out loud to a girl.  To a woman.  To your _teacher_.  There was that again, it made his head spin, so he pushed that fact away.  “Can I touch you. . . . Ya know. . .” he trailed off and moved his hand just slightly, indicating the direction he wanted to go, hoping she would get the hint and just say yes.  
  
“No I don’t know, where Zack?”  She knew full well what he wanted, but she wasn’t going to give it to him until she made him say it out loud.  
  
Zack squirmed and whimpered.  It never occurred to him that he could just go where he wanted with out getting her express permission first.  This simple fact was ingrained in him somehow.  Questioning why he thought that way would have been like questioning the existence of gravity.  It was just there.  He could have no more pushed his hand forward than he could float in the air through force of will.  
  
“Tell me.”  She insisted.  
  
He screwed up his courage, took in a deep breath, and on the exhale he blurted out.  “Can I please touch your p-pussy?”  
  
“Yes” Temperance said.  
  
It was as if that uttered word was directly tied to his hand. Immediately when she said it, his hand moved from her inner thigh to right between her legs, with no feness or grace what so ever.  Just suddenly his hand was there, slightly cupped, holding her sex.  It felt velvety and warm.  He was sure there must be a next step but he had no idea what to do.  He looked up at her with eyes caught between confusion and lust.  
  
When he made no further move nor said anything, Temperance gave instruction.  “Put your finger inside me.” She tried to intice him with low and husky.  
  
“INSIDE?!?”  Temperance wasn’t sure wether Zack was shouting in shock, horror, or excitement, It seemed to be all three, and maybe even more.  She didn’t know two sylables could have so many layers.  His fingers twitched just slightly then he stopped, looking at her with those wide innocent eyes again.  “Won’t that hurt?”  
  
“It won’t hurt me, go ahead”

 “Are you sure?” His voice cracked. “It sounds like it would hurt. . .”  
  
“My physiology is designed for this.”  Temperance tried to explain.  “Vaginas are intended to accept. . .”   
[um, want to put in here “When a woman is aroused, her body gets ready for penetration.  You see, the walls of the. . .”  
Zack winced at the word penetration, it sounded overly harsh to him, and definitely sounded painful]  
She realized this wasn’t working.  Normally Zack had a much easier time understanding things in a technical way, but this was all tangled up with emotions.  She needed to stop being so cerebral and take care of this on his emotional level.  
  
She leaned down, put her face close to his, looked deep into his beautiful wide brown eyes, so full of complexity.  
  
“I promise you won’t hurt me.” She said with soft intensity.  
  
“But. . . But what if I-I. . . mess up or s-something?  I. . . I don’t know how to. . .”

[remember, a little while ago you had the idea of adding in here that he's thinking about how sensitive his genitals are, how easily they can be hurt, so he's terrified that he will do something wrong and hurt her, because he has no idea what to do. obviously he doesn't think about sex organs in technical terms because of his age, but you get the idea of where you were going with that.  Maybe he remembers being kicked in the balls or something, just cuz I'm evil I wanna throw that in there.]  
  
His hand was trembling, because he was nervous and excited and too many things at once, but not in any conscious effort to stimulate her.  
  
But it did anyway.  
  
His light trembles were like a vibrator put on low.  And she could hardly stand not rocking against that hand and pushing down on it, just fucking _taking_ it in without his consent.  She just needed him so bad to stop analyzing everything just _get. the fuck. inside._   But she takes deep breaths to get this done, she needs to or he will balk and maybe never come back.  
  
“Alright.  I’ll make you a deal, Zachery.  Just go ahead and try it.  If something does hurt, I’ll tell you.  Then all you have to do is stop, and I won’t be mad or upset, okay?”  
  
“Do you promise?”  He sounded so small, and younger than his fourteen years.  
  
“If you promise too.”  
  
“I. . . what?”  
  
She didn’t need this promise from him, she was confident and experienced.  But she sensed he needed to make it.  
  
“I promise if I don’t like something, I’ll say ‘stop, it hurts’ if you promise you will stop if I say that.  And you do the same.  If at any time I accidentally hurt you, you tell me, and I promise I’ll stop.  Is that a deal?”  
  
He seemed to think it over for a moment, then, “Will you pinky swear?”  
  
She smiled as he reverted to the comfortable diction of childhood, it was so sweet.  
  
She shifted her weight to one hand, pressed into the bed, so she could lift the other one up in front of his face, sticking out her little finger.  
  
He automatically brought his hand up, the one that wasn’t still between her legs.  He hooked his little finger around hers.  
  
“Pinky Swear.”  Temperance said soberly.  
  
“Pinky Swear.” Zack repeated solemnly.  
  
They shook on it once, completing the ritual, then let their hands fall away.  It seemed to have relaxed Zack considerably.  
  
  
  
[while she’s fingered:  
  
Temperance rolled her hips back and forth against his hand, pushing his fingers in as deep as they could go.  Soft, husky, broken cries escaped her while Zack watched in wide eyed wonder.  He was doing that to her, he thought with amazement.  I am making her moan, making her move.  The thought felt almost too huge for his mind to get a hold on.  He felt something try to surge inside him.  If it wasn’t for the cock ring, just the thought of what he was doing and the sound of her needy cries would have made him cum without anything touching him there.  
  
[when she reaches the platau, zack’s afraid that he is hurting her and slows down, unintentionally edging her. put that she lets herself be teased for a bit, until he slows down too much and she's about to lose it, so she commands him to keep going, go harder, etc.]  
  
[when she cums:]  
“What was that?”  Zack said in an awed, breathless voice.  
  
Temperance collapsed onto the bed.  There was no way she could answer him just yet.  
  
Zack twisted and bent his wrist a little painfully to keep hand where it was when she abruptly lied down, once she stopped moving he got his hand comfortable again.   Because she hadn’t told him to remove his hand, it didn’t occure to him that he should.  
  
Temperance was actually glad he managed to keep his fingers in.  She didn’t like the loss of that wonderful fullness so soon after climax.  Even if it was just a small adolecent’s fingers.  It felt good and she didn’t want to give it up yet.  
  
After a few moments her breathing slowed to just heavy, instead of rapid.  She opened her [what color?][added later: duh!! they're green!!] eyes and looked into Zack’s brown ones.  Now she could answer.  “That was an orgasm, Zachery, good job.” her voice sounded [something?]  
  
He felt a goofy smile form on his face, and he felt oddly a little light headed.  “I. . . did that. . . To you?”  
  
She was still hazy with afterglow.  “Mmm, yes you did.”  She leaned toward him.  
  
[okay, somewhere here he puts it together that she had an orgasm but he wasn't allowed to, tempy explains about multiple orgasms and that's when he says its not fair]

[oh! remember this line--]  
Temperance is a little impatient having to explain this.  She wasn't used to having to _think_ so soon after a pleasurable release [ <\--or something]  
  
  
[after she cums and zack says it’s not fair.  This was not in my fantasy obviously, I‘m adding it for the drama-llama, muahaha! In my fantasy that started this whole ball rolling, he just whines about not being able to have multiple orgasms and they laugh and move on.  But it actually worked out to be the perfect place to add some Tempy backstory angst]  
“Many things in life are not fair.”  Her voice suddenly changes from breathless excitement to something flat and heavy.  Her eyes cloud over and lose focus.  
  
Zack is immediately alarmed.  What has he done to her!?!  He is too deep in this heady experience and his mind is to literal to realize she’s not talking about sex anymore.  “What did I do wrong?”  He asks, dismayed.  “I’m sorry I said it’s not fair.  You can . . . You can have. . . “ He doesn’t know where to go.  
  
Zack’s distressed voice brings her back from the past.  She realized Zack has misunderstood.  She comes back from the old pain to the pleasures here and now.  It takes her a while, and at first her attempt at a reassuring smile feels false on her face.  But she leans down and kisses him, and his returning kiss is so urnest and un-self-possessing that it starts to make her feel good again.  
  
When she pulls away finally, she is able to speak again.  “No honey, you didn’t do anything wrong.  It was really good, I told you.  I was just thinking about. . .” She swallows hard, “Something that happened a long time ago.  It’s not important right now.”  
  
Without forethought, Zack opens his mouth to ask her what happened.  It’s a hard wired part of his nature to quest for information whenever there is something he doesn’t know, it’s what makes him brilliant.  What stops him from pursuing it is not the idea that Temperance clearly doesn’t want to talk about it, he is too socially inept to notice that.  But the fact his need for knowledge of the carnal kind is much more pressing, literally.  He can feel the blood inside him pressing out and stretching his skin, it’s becoming less enjoyable and more uncomfortable, so he lets whatever weirded her out go.  Nothing seems important in the world right now except this.  He would let anything go in favor of more contact with Temperance right now.  
[figure out how to get back to the fun stuff]  
  
  
  
[Um, I forgot exactly how it leads up to this, I hope it’s still locked up in my memory bank, hold on while I go rummaging through my brain]  
  
[For you viewers at home who don’t know what I know, she’s trying to get him to say he wants his cock touched, k?]  
She was torturing him, and she knew it.  She probably shouldn’t do this to him, but she couldn’t help herself, she was enjoying too much watching him struggle with himself.  She didn’t realize it would be this hard for him to let go.  She probably should just give in to what he wanted.  But part of her felt it was important to make him say it.  Make him externalize and articulate clearly what his need was.  It was important for him to learn this:  He could speak his desire without shame.  The walls and berriers had to be broken down.  The taboos of this modern culture put on nearly all sex aspects should be gotten rid of.  The sooner the better, for his own good, she was sure of that.  Or at least she thought she was.  
  
Brennan realized too late that it was breaking him apart.  She couldn’t stop the run away train she had started, she had to see it through to it’s derailment.  She started to touch him everywhere feverishly, everywhere but where he wanted.  She whispered breathily in his ear.  “Tell me Zack.  Tell me.  Where?  Where do you want me to touch you?  Where do you want it?”

 [added later, I forgot when:

“Nooooo. . . Pleeeeasssse . . . Please. . .”  
  
He’s shaking and he’s twitching and he’s thrashing.  He paws at her blindly.  
  
“Say it Zack!”  she growls with ferocity.  
  
He only whimpers.   He turns and tries to push that part of his body against her, desparate for any kind of stimulation.  She moves out of the way with slick cat-like grace.]

[at some point, he’s said everything else, maybe some of them worse, but this is the hardest to break becaue it is the last taboo about saying something out loud he has left.  The last is always hardest to fall]  
[somewhere in there while he’s whining, but hasn’t said the right thing yet, put this:  
He maybe could have cut through the sadistic pleasure she was taking from this and made her give in if he had said ‘stop, it hurts’ because it _was_ hurting, but he was so upset he had forgotten he was allowed to say that, and he didn’t feel he could disobey her.  His mind took what people said too literally for him to be capable of thinking of a way to manipulate her back into giving him what he needed any way but exactly what she said he had to do.]

[Finally, write down every word for penis you can think of, you will need them for Zack’s litany when “finally he breaks"  
Okay go: cock, dick, dong, hard-on, boner, wang, stick, dick, penis, rod, wood, weiner, prick, pecker, bone, shaft, joystick, knob?, tool [the greatest band is named after a dick] pocket rocket, thing, peter, poll, phallus, [Zack’s smart enough to know that one, but would he say it while his mind is totally cracked?] willy, snake, dig dong [yes some of them are childish but that makes sense] dingaling, weewee [really? Okay he’s not five] trouser snake [yes I know there are more goofy and wildly descriptive ones but I’m not sure they would fit in this situation, he’s not trying to be funny or even thinking clearly here, remember.  
]

I can’t stop laughing! Okay I know there are more….uh… he can say some of them more than once, cuz he looses track, he’s not supposed to sound coherent. ]

[LOL have I forgotten any words for penis that Zack should know? I wanted to get as many of them in there as possible, both for humor value, and to show just how off the rails he is at this point]

[this goes wayyy further down, when she holds him down, trying to get him to say dick or whatever, she has her strong lower thighs to her or her knees pressed against the outside edge of his iliac crest.  His sweat, instead of making his body slick, causes friction against her skin, that combined with the pressure of her strong muscles effectively pins his hips in place. (he can’t move, only shudder, and he feels like he;s shaking to pieces). ---add something about how her legs are spread and he can see it and the way shes over top of him is provocative or something makes him crazy and so on]  
  
[after he finally spills his litany, she grabs his cock, and he nearly screams, --no no he does scream-- he sounds like he‘s dying.  That something tries to break free of him, if it wasn’t for the ring he would have cum instantly at her very first touch.  She strokes him for a while.  With out the restraint, she wouldn’t have been able to give him manual stimulation and then still take him, not a young first time adolescent.  So she takes full advantage.  At first she just runs her fingertips lightly along his shaft, and he whimpers and moans for more.  But she waits until he is forced to say “please!” his voice cracking with agony, before she wraps her hand around his hot, throbbing cock, the tip leaking pre-cum steadily.  He moans constantly, he never shuts up.  And she listens with intense satisfaction that she’s causing the noises he makes.  She runs her hand across his glands, using his pre-cum as a lubricant, making him slick and it feels so incredible so incredible he’s jerking and shaking uncontrollably.  
  
  
[At some time she gives him external prostate stimulation, knows he’s not ready for internal.  But fuck I forgot to write down the technical name for that area, got to look it up again. he says what are you doing or something more breaking down taboos]

[at some other point during actual sex:]  
“Scapula!” Temperance cried out at Zack.  
  
It seemed like such a non sequitur, Zack had no idea what Temperance was trying to say to him.  He knew what a scapula was, of course.  But why was she randomly shouting out the name of a bone.  “Wuh-uuuuhhh. . . Ohh!  w-what?”  He managed to get out between his moaning and panting.  
  
“Shoulder blades!  Your hands!  Now!”  
  
Then he remembers or something and puts his hands there, she orders him to scratch, and he’s too far gone to worry about hurting her, he just does it

[Yeah there are some more goodies I have written out, but I'm saving them, even from those who want to peak ahead. :P you'll have to wait!!]  
  
 _(Like what you see so far?  Come back later for more!  I’m working on this as fast as I can!)_  
 _\- first edit 4:08 AM, 5/26/2014_  
 _\- Last edit 7:42 PM, 5/26/2014_

 

[One last note to self: Damn!  I gotta figure out a way for when I re-copy/paste everything with edits I don't have to go through and _italicize_ **_everything_ ** all over again!  It's a real pain in the ass!  Especially as this gets longer!  I thought the directions said it's supposed to keep italics and such when pasted in rich text format?  Well it never works for me.  Maybe it's best I chop this up into chapters, that will make it more manageable at least?  The only problem is I'm not writing everything in order.  I don't know if you can re-order, flip around and/or insert new chapters on this site, I haven't worked with the chapter feature yet.  I'll mess around with it on my next update.  Ta-ta for now kitties, come back soon!]

LOL! OMG I'm just reading that back after a couple days.  It's 5/28 now.  I didn't realize I used the phrase 'ta-ta kitties' that early on.  And yeah, I figured out the chapter thing and it's working great.  I've even started to have fun with chapter titles.  I was gonna try to make a notation of time and date every time I updated, but I forgot for quite a few updates.  Oh well.  It was mostly for my own amusement to look back on when and what I did.  It's not like anyone is really gonna read this horrid mess.

 

Sorry no real update today - 6/1 - I have written some today, but not enough for a whole chapter added yet.  Eh, I'm just getting to the really good part of the story, and then my brain starts to slow down on being able to write, I don't know what's going on.  Hopefully it's just a temporary block or break, and my imagination will rev up into high gear again soon!!!

_\- Former edit: 2:41PM, 5/28/2014  
 _- _Former edit_ : 8:24PM, 6/1/2014_  
\- most recent edit: 7:27AM, 6/18/2014  
_

**Author's Note:**

> Also, this has nothing to do with anything, but in no point in the future of this AU will Zack EVER loose his silly floppy head and become an apprentice to a cannibal, get his hands practically blown off and be written out of the show!!! Yeah I know that was a long time ago, but it still pisses me off! That was the worst bit of writing ever. They should have NEVER gotten rid of Zack! All the other interns can go to hell (yeah even the really hot ones) because none of them compare to my Zackaroni! Also, he would never cut that adorable mop of hair either, that was a dumb move. But at least hair grows back. People don’t come back from the loony bin. Zack does not belong there, he belongs tied up to my bed post. Sometimes you just gotta say, Fuck Cannon!
> 
> Okay crazy time over now.
> 
> Added 5/26 - On a more sane note, after some research on http://bones.wikia.com it seems that the character of Zack presumably has Asperger’s. (Look it up if you want, I don’t have room to explain in my notes, it’s complicated, sorry. “High functioning on the autism spectrum” is the simplest explanation, but there‘s much more to it) Which would partly explain why I empathize with him so much and why his loss from the show effected me deeply. 
> 
> I really do have Asperger’s. Diagnosed in adulthood, so growing up not knowing why I was weird, childhood was hell. 
> 
> That of course doesn’t explain why I want to do slightly bad things to him. I'm just a bad bad girl! 
> 
> Added 5/28 - But there is catharsis for him in this story as well, I didn't realize when I started that there would be, I guess I'm trying to fulfill a different kind of fantasy for myself as well, besides the purely sex kind.
> 
> Wow, this story is turning into WAY more than it started as. Maybe I'm developing more as a writer? That's probably just wishful thinking. But like Zack in my story, I don't really know what's going on, but I like it! :D
> 
> Ta-ta kitties! Hope you enjoyed the ride too!
> 
> Okay, one last thing then I swear I'll shut up. I want to give a shout out to [Aris Merquoni](http://archiveofourown.org/users/ArisTGD/pseuds/Aris%20Merquoni) for her Dubious Consent Trilogy. (A House, M.D. fic, if you're interested, I recommend it highly). Because her sort-or-stream-of-conscious writing style (or whatever you would call that cool way she had of writing) I loved so much that I kinda adopted my own little version of it. Not trying to _copy_ , just be inspired by it. Trying it out for the first time in this story. That's why there are many run-on sentences and random curse words in the middle of descriptive paragraphs. It's fun!


End file.
